Seeing Double
by Kayten
Summary: Bella moves to Forks to escape an abusive living situation, and she and Alice Cullen become fast friends. But is there something else developing between them? Bella's confusion is times-two thanks to Alice's gorgeous but elusive twin brother, Edward.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Survival Mode

_**S. Meyer owns all the good stuff, I'm just having some fun. No copyright infringement intended whatsoever.**_

_Nobody is stronger, nobody is weaker than someone who came back_. - Elie Wiesel

"That's a nice ride you got there! You think you'll be able to start it again after school?" a tall, lanky boy in a maroon letterman jacket laughed as he watched me pull into a parking spot. He and another boy began to jog towards the school without waiting for a response, the rain pounding harder against the pavement now. I sighed heavily as I cut the engine. _I guess not everyone can drive brand new silver Volvos_, I thought glumly, glancing at the one parked beside me.

Yanking the hood of my sweatshirt over my eyes, I grabbed my nearly empty book bag and climbed out of the cab of my old, faded pickup. It had been cloudy and rained every day since I'd moved to Forks, Washington, even though it was technically still summer. If the weather was any indication of how my day would go, I was in trouble already. I concentrated on dodging puddles and moving quickly through the parking lot to the entrance without tripping.

"That would be my luck," I mumbled.

Inside the brightly lit school building, I was relieved to find the main office easily, and I shook some of the rain off as I waited for the secretary to notice me. Behind the counter, towards the back of the office, a petite girl with short, dark hair was shuffling papers around on a table. She looked almost to be bouncing, though she stood in one spot. She flitted silently to smaller desk and back again, humming as she searched.

"I think I found what I needed, thank you!" I heard the girl chirp, her voice high pitched but not unpleasant. At the same time, the secretary stood and asked if I needed help. When I glanced back, the dark-haired girl was gone.

"I'm Bella ... Isabella, Swan," I said, distracted. "I need my schedule, please. I'm new." She studied me, literally looking down her nose and past her thick bifocals. I cringed.

"You're the police chief's daughter, right?" she asked, not hiding her intrigue. I struggled to not roll my eyes and nodded. _News travels fast_. A satisfied smirk crept onto her face, and she retreated around a corner and returned momentarily with a folder.

"Your schedule is in here, Isabella, along with a map of the school and your locker number. Most of your classes will be on the third floor. I can assign someone to help you find everything," she offered, still eying me.

"No, thank you," I mumbled. "I'll be fine." I turned and shuffled back out into the hallway, glad to join the flow of student traffic. In between the roar of reunited friends, slamming lockers and rain-soaked sneakers squeaking on the tiled floor, I heard my name murmured several times. I imagined the stares were made out of lasers, burning tiny holes through my clothes.

_This is what celebrities must feel like, only worse, _I thought_. I swear to God I'll quit reading Perez Hilton now. I totally get it. _

It took a painfully long time to reach the third floor in the crowded staircase. Once I did, I backed into a corner to take a look around.

According to my schedule, I had English first period. The bell rang then, and the hallways cleared in a hurry. _Fantastic, there goes my chance to slip in unnoticed._

Since I was going to be late anyway, I ducked into the nearest bathroom, which was now deserted. I dropped my bag onto the floor and ran a hand through my long, mahogany-colored hair. It needed a trim, and the wet weather was causing it to frizz. No amount of patting it down was making it any smaller. I leaned in closer to the mirror and studied my complexion between the cracks and permanent marker graffiti.

_Pale, too pale_. At least most of the people in Forks were pale, too. Not like Phoenix. But still, too pale. The bags under my eyes were pronounced after a long night of tossing and turning. Frowning, I grabbed my bag off the floor and slipped back into the hall.

I found room 302 and, as smoothly as I could, breezed in through the open door and made a beeline for the first open seat I saw.

Our teacher caught my eye as soon as I dared to look up and she smiled before standing and addressing the class. I held my breath as she moved on to her first order of business, which was to hand out text books. I relaxed when I was satisfied she wouldn't single me out as the new girl.

For the remainder of the period, I kept my eyes straight ahead or down on my desk. I didn't care to look around at my peers, though I sensed those seated around me stealing curious glances when the teacher turned her back. When the bell rang and we were dismissed, I heard my name in whispers again.

Unfortunately, in my next two classes I was asked to stand and introduce myself. I'd known that, given Forks' small-town mentality, I might be expected to do so, but I'd hoped and prayed it wouldn't happen. I was a writer, not a speaker, and back in Phoenix the teachers never bothered with such formalities; my old high school had nearly five thousand students enrolled. Here, there were a couple hundred, if that. Apparently, they had all the time in the world.

I hated how vulnerable I felt as I stood and, facing the wall instead of my peers, told them my name, that I preferred my nickname, and that I'd just moved from Arizona. My face was on fire as I spoke and I wanted nothing more than to just run out of there and not return. No one interrupted me, or even moved as I spoke. Then again, no one turned it into a Welcome to Forks party either, which would have been far worse.

_Silver linings, I guess_.

Fourth period, I had study hall - and a headache. After claiming a seat in the back row of what looked more like an office than a classroom, I decided to try to learn the school map. While my first class had been easy to find, I'd gotten lost and been late to both history and math. I pulled the map from my pocket and smoothed it as I watched the room fill up. A few faces looked familiar from my classes, and they congregated in small groups and sat together, chattering away. I put my head down, hoping to remain as invisible as possible. It worked for about three minutes.

"Hey, you're Isabella, right?" a girl's voice rang out, causing the other conversations in the room to lower, but not cease. My jaw clenched as I looked up slowly. "Why don't you come sit over here?"

I recognized the girl from the hallway, though I hadn't seen her in any of my classes. She looked the type to be a cheerleader, or at least popular. Her long, straight dirty blonde hair was pulled into a loose ponytail and rested over her shoulder. She was much tanner than anyone I'd seen since arriving and in comparison her light eyes stood out. If she hadn't said my name, I wouldn't for a minute have expected her to even notice me. At the moment, she looked to be sitting by herself.

"Yeah ... alright," I blurted, dropping my map on the floor. When I moved to pick it up, then my pen dropped in its place. _I am the least impressive new girl, possibly ever._

I finally arrived at the desk beside her in the front of the room and sat. The teacher assigned to monitor the study hall looked up from the newspaper he was reading before lowering his gaze again. I guessed that upperclassman study halls were simply free periods here.

"I'm Lauren," the girl offered, smiling. Her teeth were _really_ white. Unnaturally white. I reminded myself to smile back, not wanting to offend her.

"Bella," I offered.

She seemed to take that as permission to release a string of questions about whether I liked Forks, school, and life in general. I humored her, because while I had been trying to just get through the day, it felt nice to be noticed by someone other than school faculty.

"So, have you seen any hot guys yet?" she asked, leaning closer like an old friend. I let out an involuntary laugh.

"Oh God, that's ... no, that's not...priority..," I mumbled, clearing my throat. "No, not yet." Lauren's smile grew, deepening my embarrassment.

"Don't be so shy, Bella. You're like, fresh meat. Don't you see everyone staring at you?"

"Doesn't everyone always stare at the new girl?" I asked, biting my lip.

"Well, duh," she laughed, "but they're staring because you're like, _really_ pretty. Don't you know that?"

"I really don't think so," I said quickly. I knew right away she was preparing to disagree, so I changed the subject. "Does this school have a newspaper?"

"Um," Lauren paused, and sat back. I'd caught her off-guard.

"Yes," the teacher behind the newspaper interjected. "It meets on Wednesdays after school. In the library." _Duly noted_.

"Yeah, that," Lauren confirmed weakly, one eyebrow cocked in the direction of the voice.

I changed the subject again after that, feeling somehow pretty certain Lauren was the last person I'd want to know about my dorky after-school curricular interests.

My heart sank a little when I entered the cafeteria for fifth period lunch, as I'd hoped to see Lauren there. Most of the tables were already claimed, either by students sitting at them or books in their places while they bought food. I contemplated trying to find the library and skipping this part of my day when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"You're Bella, right?" a voice chirped in my ear. I spun and looked down to see the dark-haired girl from the main office. Again she stood in place, yet I got the impression she was everywhere at once - as if my eyes were playing tricks on me. "I'm Alice! You're in my history class, remember?"

I froze, trying to recall faces from third period. I hadn't looked around. As I tried to remember, I looked at her - stared, really. It didn't occur to me not to; Alice was stunning. Her skin was very pale, but flawless, and she almost glowed. Her eyes were a beautiful greenish color with honey brown flecks. She wore a thin, off-white sweater with tiny gold stripes along the neckline, a fitted tan corduroy skirt over light gray leggings and brown ankle boots that looked kind of retro.

"I, yeah, of course, history," I managed to say. I hoped she couldn't tell I was lying. Suddenly I hoped she wouldn't recognize me as the rain-soaked girl watching her in the office that morning.

"Do you have a seat yet, Bella?" She held onto my arm and I realized that we were moving. "Come and sit with us, we have an extra seat!"

I just nodded, and my stomach growled. What ever was being served for lunch that day - turkey, maybe - smelled like dog food. I was grateful I'd packed an apple in my bag. Alice continued to lead me through the lunch room to a table near the back, next to the windows. It was the furthest table from the entrance and set apart from the rest of the tables, too.

"Guys, this is Bella," Alice said as we reached our destination. I looked around and saw three others sitting. The only other girl was a thin, beautiful blonde with striking blue eyes. She didn't speak, but looked up coldly as her blood-red nails picked at the zipper pull on the Louis Vuitton purse in front of her.

Next to her was a boy - a man, really - who seemed a bit old even for a senior. While his face was boyish, his physique was nothing short of intimidating. He grinned widely and held out a huge hand, which I shook.

"I'm Emmett," he offered warmly. "Don't mind Rose, she's pissy." The blonde quickly slapped him in his side, which didn't seem to do much damage, and he laughed. I tensed up and glanced at Alice, but she was still smiling.

"I'm Jasper," the other boy at the table said quietly, extending his hand. I shook it, noting a slight southern twang in his soft voice. If possible, his shy smile was even more pleasant than Emmett's. Jasper reached over and squeezed Alice's hand quickly, and I could tell by her reaction that they were an item. I surmised, based on Emmett and Rose's play-fighting, that they probably were, too. Against all logic, I felt a twinge of jealousy, though I was sure I had no business thinking of romance when I technically still had no friends.

"Bella's going to sit with us," Alice explained, as she plopped onto a chair and patted the one next to her. I sat just as the others stood to go buy their lunches. "I'll stay here with you," Alice offered. I smiled gratefully and reached into my book bag for my apple.

"So, is Jasper your boyfriend?" I asked once we were alone. Alice smiled ear-to-ear and nodded eagerly.

"We've been together since middle school," she said. "Rosalie and Emmett are dating now, too. They're seniors, but they've known each other since they were kids. I always sort of knew Emmett had a thing for Rose. My brother was the one who finally talked him into asking her out."

I pictured Rose's reaction to my arrival and silently wondered how _anyone_ could like her, looks aside.

As if she could read my mind, Alice added, "Rose isn't as bad as she seems. She picks her friends carefully. She's been back-stabbed one too many times by other girls, but I think she might end up warming up to you."

"What makes you say that?"

"Well," Alice gulped, looking down at the orange she'd begun to peel, "the last time a new friend - a girl - joined our table, Rose told her to go straight to he-"

"Hey guys!"

Without warning, Lauren plopped herself down in Jasper's empty chair. I smiled, though I felt oddly annoyed by her interruption.

"Hey," Alice said, noticeably less enthused. "How's your first day going?"

"Oh, not bad. I got stuck with gym first period, though. Doesn't that suck?"

I found myself nodding. It was dangerous enough to let my lack of coordination loose in public, but an 8 AM gym class for me could probably be considered an act of terrorism.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Emmett, Rose and Jasper returning with their food. As if on cue, Lauren stood.

"Sorry that there's not enough chairs, Laur," Alice said, managing to sound genuine. Lauren shrugged.

"I actually told Jessica I'd sit with her anyway." I could tell she was lying, trying to act as if she really didn't care.

I suddenly felt like I'd lucked out meeting Alice. Were these kids Forks High School elite? It was too soon to tell, but all I knew was that I'd never been more than the quiet girl in the back of the classroom, despite my efforts over the years to open up. I'd never been a friend magnet.

As Lauren walked the empty distance between our table and the others, Alice leaned in closer to me.

"That's who I meant," she whispered. "She totally avoids Rose now! It's kind of funny. I mean, she's never done anything to me, but Rosalie can sniff out bad intentions like a bloodhound. She doesn't seem to mind you at all, though."

I nodded, acknowledging this information, if not believing it all. If Rosalie liked me, I'd hate to see what would happen if she didn't... But I felt I could trust Alice and decided not to get too close to Lauren. Both girls had befriended me, no questions asked, on my first day, yet Alice had a certain positive energy about her that Lauren definitely lacked. In fact, it seemed like Alice was _made_ of energy ... pure, buzzing, light-speed energy. I felt drawn to her from the moment I'd seen her in the office, and I liked it.

The rest of the period was spent talking about myself, a topic I kept hoping to avoid, to no avail. Alice wasn't pushy, though, and offered information about herself and Jasper often. It was an easy-going, enjoyable conversation, which I hadn't expected. My headache had even begun to fade. When the bell rang to signal the end of lunch, I could have cried, but Alice said she'd see me later. I didn't know if that was true, but I hoped so.

_ Just two more classes, just two more classes _...

Feeling refreshed from lunch, I eagerly shuffled into the room where my biology class was to be held. Unlike my previous classrooms full of desks, here there were only tall, concrete tables with two high stools at each. Most of the tables were filled already. I spotted an empty one by the window and raced over to it, not caring if anyone noticed. Who could really blame me? I didn't see any of my new ... friends? ... in the room, and I wasn't going to invite myself to anyone else's table on the first day of class. I assumed the tables of two were meant to pair us up as lab partners.

As I dug around in my bag for a pen, I saw a body slip onto the seat beside me out of the corner of my eye. A guy. I could faintly smell cologne. Sitting straight up, all I saw were his hands resting side by side on the table, and a black sleeve. Suddenly all nerves, I couldn't bring myself to look up at or acknowledge him. I decided that he had nice hands.

_Nice hands? Who says that?_

The teacher began to talk and I tried to pay close attention. He passed around text books and the syllabus and I busied myself taking notes on extra supplies we might need. Still, I was very aware that my neighbor's gaze was on _me_. I could just feel it. My cheeks were burning hot, but I refused to look up. _Whatever he's wearing ... it smells amazing_, I thought dreamily, followed by, _Oh, snap out of it_! I allowed my hair to fall forward to cover my ears, which were likely the same color crimson as my face.

"Do you have an extra pen?" he whispered finally, shattering my safe little thought bubble. Panicked, I managed to reach back into my bag, if not gracefully, and extracted a pink ballpoint pen.

"All I have is pink," I said stiffly. He reached over and took the offered pen, his fingers grazing my palm as he did so. My arm immediately broke out in goosebumps beneath my sweatshirt.

"Thanks."

The time dragged that period, as anything our teacher said from that point on had been reduced to muffled sounds instead of words. I managed to control my shameless blushing, but my neighbor's request for a pen echoed over and over in my head. He had a nice voice, too. Nice hands, nice voice. _No face, though, because I've got the social skills of a kindergartener_.

When the bell rang, I actually jumped and almost fell off my stool. My eyes betrayed me then, and I finally met Pink Pen Boy's gaze. His eyes were startling - green and intense, especially against the cropping of messy copper-brown hair, some of which hung down over his forehead. He wore dark jeans and a fitted black, long-sleeved shirt that clung to his torso in cruel ways.

"You're Bella?" he asked suddenly. I felt myself gasp. _Smooth_.

"Y-Yeah," I stammered. He nodded, hopped off his stool and exited quickly, leaving my pen on the table. I was so surprised, I didn't realize he hadn't called me Isabella.

Lucky for me, my last class of the day was gym._ If, no, __**when**__ I cause a disaster, at least it's the end of the day.._.

I did everything in my power to stay awake as we sat on the cold bleachers while an instructor discussed how we would be graded. Since it was only our first class, we weren't required to change into sweats. There were two separate classes combined for the initial introduction today, so two teachers were present. They were dressed in cheap-looking windbreaker pants and identical Forks High School t-shirts, and I tried to imagine them wearing normal street clothes. I couldn't.

It took me half the period to realize Alice sat about ten feet away.

"Pssst! Bella!" I finally heard. I looked over at her and waved, quickly pulling my hand back when half the class looked over. Ten minutes later, the last bell of the day rang, and I gathered my book bag and textbooks and met her at the gym doors.

"Hey Alice," I greeted her, feeling much more awake. "Are you in my class or the other one?"

"Yours, silly," she giggled. "I was trying to get you to look up at me all period! You must have really been zoning out." I felt my cheeks heat up for the millionth time that day, and I selfishly hoped Alice wasn't close to any of our classmates. I was already looking ahead to dealing with last-one-picked syndrome.

We walked together towards the main entrance and it felt strange, after practically charging through the hallways all day, to walk slower as several people stopped Alice to say hello. She politely introduced me each time while managing to keep the spotlight off me ("Bella, this is my old friend, Kate. She's an amazing artist - some of her work is hanging up in the lobby! Kate, this is my new friend Bella.") I couldn't have felt more grateful to be treated like a normal person instead of a sideshow.

It took us nearly fifteen minutes to make our way through the school to the lobby. I didn't mind and wasn't surprised in the least that Alice had so many friends.

"I've gotta grab some things from my locker, but I'll see you in the morning, okay Bella?" she said once we neared the main staircase. "Sit next to me in history tomorrow!"

I nodded and then Alice was gone, skipping across the lobby towards the stairs before I could even say goodbye.

Charlie had left a message on the answering machine before I'd even walked through the door saying he'd gotten held up at work and would be late. I smiled a little as I deleted the recording, realizing he hadn't thought to just call my cell phone. It occurred to me that maybe having me live with him was an even bigger adjustment for Charlie than it was for me to be there.

The weather had only become nastier, and I decided to make dinner rather than order a pizza, now that I had extra time to do so. Neither of us had grocery shopped since I'd arrived a week earlier, so I worked with what I could find - spaghetti and a jar of meat sauce. While the pasta boiled, I jotted down a quick grocery list on the back of a worn take-out menu.

My mother, Renee, had never really learned to cook or do anything remotely domestic. It would be nothing new to take the reigns here as well. It was the least I could do.

Charlie finally came home just after seven, weary-eyed. He hung his belt with his gun attached on a hook by the door and immediately his eyes lit up when he realized he smelled food.

"Bells, you didn't have to cook," he said gruffly, though I suspected he was holding back a smile. "I don't expect that of ya."

"Ch- Dad, it's nothing," I replied, spooning pasta onto his plate. "You should have a hot meal after a crappy day like today. Is it _always_ this gloomy here in September?"

"Ah, you know how the Pacific Northwest is," he mumbled, reaching for the sauce. "You lived here too, once." I decided against reminding him how young I'd been when Renee packed our bags and left him. "I'll take a beer, if you could, Bells."

I snagged him a cold can of Budweiser from the refrigerator door and sat down and served myself. In between bites, Charlie asked me how my day had gone.

"Fine, it went fine," I assured him quickly. "Yours?"

"Long. Lots of paperwork," he responded.

The rest of the meal was eaten in silence. It wasn't a comfortable silence, either, considering I'd inherited his gift of few words. It seemed that impending adulthood had robbed my father and I of the ability to appreciate each other's quiet company, one of the few things I once cherished on my rare summer visits to Forks.

And while I felt guilty for not having more to say after only a week of living there, I was afraid that if I slipped and let him believe I was unhappy, he'd rethink having me live with him. It had taken several long, awkward phone calls to get him to agree to it - not that he didn't want me, but he had trouble believing I'd be happier away from my mother. It had taken strategy to mention as little as possible about _why_ that might be. I'd promised her that much.

After dinner, Charlie offered to clean up so that I could start on my homework. With a full belly, I suddenly felt so tired I just agreed and started for the stairs, failing to mention I had no homework.

My room was exactly the way it had been when my mother and Charlie divorced years ago, with the exception of a fresh coat of lilac paint. I transferred my book bag from the floor to the rocking chair in the corner and sat on the edge of my old bed, which groaned with disuse. I glanced at my cell phone on the nightstand.

"I should call her," I said, picturing Renee's face, tears streaming as I left her to board the plane to Seattle. I reached for the phone, then paused. _What if she was drinking tonight? She's obviously still upset that I chose to live with Charlie. If Phil answered, he probably wouldn't even put her on_. _Ugh. Phil_.

Now that my mother had quit her job and was living in Jacksonville with her boyfriend, I had my doubts that she would wait for an acceptable hour to start drinking. It was nearly six o'clock on the east coast ... and deep down, I knew she wouldn't be sober if I called. I allowed myself to get angry.

_That's why I'm here, isn't it? To get away from that, to deal with it the way a normal teenager should. To LIVE like a normal teenager should live._

The painful memories were only from the last couple of years. Renee had dated off and on throughout my childhood and it hadn't really bothered me, maybe because it never went anywhere. They were usually nice guys, and they'd take me places and buy me things to try to win my mother over. But eventually, they'd realize how flighty and unreliable she was, and they'd stop calling. She never got too upset over any of them, as far as I could tell.

Then Phil came along. He played minor league baseball, and he liked to drink. I couldn't remember Renee having a fondness for anything other than the occasional wine cooler until Phil. She began to come home at strange hours of the night, or early morning. She'd reek of alcohol, and laugh as she stumbled through the house, waking me up.

It wasn't long before Phil was coming over more, and they went out less. He spent the night more often than not, and a liquor cabinet I never remembered being there was suddenly always full. Renee developed a second relationship, with vodka.

For the longest time, I tried to justify my mother's behavior. I thought maybe because she'd married Charlie young, she was trying to experience the years she missed out on. I thought maybe she was trying to adapt to Phil's lifestyle, hoping to change the pattern of men that never stuck around.

Renee and I had always been close, like best friends. And I'd taken care of her, as my domestic ability grew from her lack thereof. We were an unlikely team, but we only knew how to survive with each other. Phil took that from us.

Renee stopped talking to me. Not completely, of course. But she was rarely home, and then home all the time, but wrapped up in Phil. Phil Phil Phil. She stopped asking me about school, about my hobbies. If I forgot a chore or forgot to cook, she didn't even notice - and of course, it wouldn't get done.

And then one day, for no apparent reason, Phil lost it.

He had taken to pestering me from time to time, usually when he was drunk. He'd mock me for being content to sit in my room and write in my journals or read my favorite books. He would ask why I wasn't out getting laid - right in front of my mother, and she would laugh.

One night, after she laughed, he reached around and put Renee in a choke hold and told her to never fucking laugh at him again. I could only look on in horror as he held her there for at least a minute before releasing his grip and storming out of the room. She'd fallen to her knees and just _sobbed_. It was the first time I'd ever seen my mother cry, and unfortunately, not the last.

Phil did similar things several more times over the last year. Usually I would leave the house when he did, thinking I'd been the one to set him off and hoping he would calm down once I was gone. The last time he'd gotten violent with Renee, I had called 9-1-1. When he realized what I'd done, he'd punched me in the back, sending me flying into the back of an old easy chair and then to the floor, face down.

After that debacle, I finally sat Renee down and told her if she wanted us to remain a team, she needed to stop drinking and lose Phil. We talked for hours, and she managed to refute all of my most important points in the conversation. For the first time I realized we were no longer close, that I'd lost her. My Renee would never in a million years try to justify a situation where we were both being physically attacked in our own home. That night, I made my first phone call to Charlie and tried to convince him to let me move in.

_Tomorrow, I'll call her tomorrow, right after school. Maybe Phil will be at work_.

With that decided, I washed up and changed into sweats and an old t-shirt, then climbed into bed, wiggling under the covers.

I tried to switch my mind off and fall fast asleep, but no such luck. I thought about Renee some more, but then I kept picturing Pink Pen Boy. Those eyes were mesmerizing. And his skin was pale, but I liked that too. He was really kind of ... beautiful. If he hadn't bolted, I couldn't say whether I would have been able to look away.

I shook my head then, willing those thoughts away.

_He's a weirdo_! I tried to convince myself. _What was that all about at the end of class? I didn't even say anything! God ... I hope __I didn't..._

A few minutes later, I felt sleep finally taking over. I rolled over and burrowed further into my comforter, knowing I'd actually get some sleep this time. I wasn't stressing day two of Forks High anymore - I'd made a friend. Actually, I'd made a few. Maybe even more than a few, if Alice was right about Rosalie.

The last thing I remembered thinking was how I looked forward to seeing Alice again.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Revelations

_"That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty ... you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are." _ - Holden Caufield, _The Catcher in the Rye_

Wednesday morning, I awoke seconds before my cell phone alarm went off, blaring a high-pitched ringtone in my ear. As I reached over to reset it, I glanced out the window and, against all odds, saw sunlight. I almost didn't recognize it.

I slid out of bed and headed for the bathroom with a little bounce in my step, unused to seeing my shadow stretch across the wooden floor as I moved. Downstairs, I could hear Charlie pacing in front of the coffee maker, waiting for it to finish brewing - an old habit he apparently never outgrew. The coffee smelled pretty good, and I hoped he'd made a full pot.

After a fast shower, I toweled off and stole a glance at the clock as I combed my hair. I was definitely running early - my first class didn't begin until five past eight and it was only ten to seven.

I studied my reflection in the foggy mirror and decided that, with all the extra time I was faced with, it wouldn't hurt to _try_ to look nice for once. Usually, I'd just throw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and leave the house without a second thought about my hair or using makeup. It had been a long time since any of my classmates had noticed me enough to make me care how I looked. Forks, I realized, was my second chance; no one here ever needed to see frumpy Bella, if I didn't want them to.

I pulled my old blow dryer out from a bag I'd not yet unpacked and took my time brushing out my hair as I dried it, resulting in perfectly straight stands and shorter layers in front that, even grown out, framed my face nicely. I was never big on makeup, but I managed to dig out of another bag some face powder, mascara and some kind of tinted, flavored lip gloss Renee had put in my Christmas stocking the previous year.

It was going to be warm and muggy that day, so I opted for a pair of denim capris rather than jeans, along with a dark green, tunic-style tank top and black flip flops. I couldn't remember the last time I'd worn makeup to school, and I wasn't fond of the way it felt on my skin, but I did feel more confident as I climbed into my truck that morning. Maybe it was just the weather getting to me, but I felt like it was going to be a good day.

Charlie hadn't made enough coffee. Still running early, I decided to take a detour to the new Dunkin Donuts to get some breakfast. I hadn't been there yet, but the day Charlie had picked me up from the airport, I'd seen it where the old shoe repair store had once been - the orange, pink and white sign glaring through the trees. Across the street from Dunkin was the old Forks diner I'd gone to with Charlie for years, and it made me sad that a chain store might eventually run that place out of business.

As I neared it, I realized my fears were unfounded - the diner looked busy, the parking lot full of old pickup trucks, station wagons, and cop cars, including Charlie's. There were only two cars parked outside Dunkin Donuts, and I was grateful that I'd at least avoid a line there.

I ordered a medium vanilla coffee and a chocolate glazed doughnut. While I waited to pay, I noticed the only other customer, sitting slumped in a chair by the window, his face hidden by a newspaper. I had returned my attention to the cashier when I heard the soft scraping of a metal chair on the tile floor. I paid and turned to leave, only to come face to face with Pink Pen Boy.

"Oh!" I jumped, nearly dropping my cup, the adrenaline expelling most of the air from my lungs.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you," he said calmly, a small, crooked smile forming on his face.

_His face_. Maybe it wasn't the adrenaline after all...now that I had time to really notice, his face was so strikingly attractive it took my breath away. His eyes were beautiful, dark and brooding. His bone structure was angular, masculine. He almost didn't look ... real.

Sirens began to blare in the back of my mind - I needed to actually _say_ something at this point.

"It's - it's fine," I spat, forcing an assured smile. "Just jumpy ... I'm not awake yet."

"Well, I don't suppose that coffee is going to make you any _less_ jumpy," he replied coolly, his smile widening. I let out a small laugh, and, better late than never, my signature blush caught up with me; my face was effectively on fire.

"I'll see you later. In school, I mean," I mumbled and carefully directed my way around him and out the door.

Once the effects of running into Pink Pen Boy wore off, my morning continued to go well. The coffee definitely helped, and by second period I was in a pretty good mood, considering I couldn't wait for third period history with Alice. I entered my math class and prepared to take the same seat as the day before, when I noticed Jasper in a desk near the back of the room. He caught my eye, smiled, and waved me over.

"Sit," he said, nodding at the desk to his right.

"Kay," I agreed happily. "I didn't know you were in this class."

"You didn't seem too interested in even _being_ here yesterday," he laughed. "I don't blame you, though. First days aren't easy. You did well, I'd say."

"Thanks Jasper," I said, meaning it. "I honestly didn't think I would make any friends on my first day." I hesitated on the 'friends' part, wondering if that's what we were.

"Ah, you've got nothing to worry about. You were obviously the front headline yesterday, but just wait. In a day or two there'll be some kind of break-up or fight, something else to take the spotlight. And Alice is glad to have you. We all are, but Alice especially."

"Alice is super nice," I said quickly, blushing again. "I couldn't believe how friendly she was to me from the start." Jasper nodded, still smiling.

"She told me she hopes you two become good friends," he admitted. "I mean, she's got friends. But she doesn't have too many real _close_ girlfriends. She and Rose are close, of course. But Rose ... Rose is very smart, but Alice is _deep_. There's a difference there, y'know?" He paused, looking down at his desk, before going on. "I think she's really looking for another girl to just connect with."

He looked up at me finally, and I wasn't sure what to say. I got the impression Jasper rarely spoke this much at once. It was obvious his feelings for Alice were strong, they played heavily in his words.

"No pressure Bella," he said finally, laughing. "I'm not – I don't mean you're obligated to her, or anything. I'm just happy to see that you and Alice get along. She could really benefit from having...someone like you around."

"Um, thank you, Jasper. That ... that actually means a lot."

I felt confused ... what did he mean by that? I'd just met him, yet I felt so at ease listening to him talk, and talking to him as well. It was like my social awkwardness was irrelevant all of a sudden, like it just wasn't there anymore.

There was a tightness in my chest then, as I realized how badly I wanted to be able to talk to people this way. I wanted conversation, I wanted to be social. In Phoenix, I'd found it impossible to make friends, and I'd always regretted the fact that after a while, it had become a habit to push people away before they could do it to me. I was tired of pretending I didn't _want_ friends, and I was tired of feeling like I would never be able to relate to people my own age. While my stomach tied in knots at the thought of putting myself out there, I knew, deep down, I didn't have much to lose. In fact, so far, things were going pretty well.

The teacher began our lesson, so Jasper and I straightened in our seats and didn't have a chance to talk again for the rest of class. When we were dismissed, I found myself smiling as I walked to history. Jasper seemed like a genuinely _nice_ person, the kind you rarely meet anymore. It made perfect sense to me that he and Alice were together. And his insight was invaluable ... knowing Alice was that happy to be my friend was almost too awesome to believe. As he'd described her need for someone to connect to, I'd felt like he was describing _me_. Especially without Renee as my partner in crime, the loneliness was really starting to creep in.

"Bella! Here!"

I looked sharply to my left as I entered my history class. Alice was sitting on top of a desk, her leg extended, one flip-flopped foot on the arm rest of the desk beside it. I couldn't help but laugh as I claimed the seat she'd saved for me.

"Thanks, Alice," I said, letting my bag drop to the floor. "I just had class with Jasper, actually."

"I know," she chirped. "He just told me!"

"How?"

"Text, duh." I nodded and smiled.

"Amazing what you find, once everyone stops _staring_ and you have a chance to look around..."

Alice's eyes met mine and she laughed sympathetically, but after a few moments, neither of us had spoken or looked away. My heart pounded maniacally in my chest as our eyes remained locked for a good minute or so, and strangely enough, I didn't even blush. Though neither of us moved, it felt like we'd inched closer together, and I thought I could probably count the subtle golden flecks in her eyes if I tried. A small smile tugged at her lips but I still couldn't look away from her; I never wanted to have to look away.

Our moment ended when I sensed three girls sitting in the front row, staring shamelessly at me ... or us.

"Take a picture, if you're that intrigued," Alice snapped at them. They quickly spun around again. "They're probably just staring because you look so pretty today..." Alice said softly, her tiny, bashful smile returning. I shifted much of my weight against my desk, my knees feeling a bit weak.

"Thank you," I breathed.

It meant a lot that Alice had noticed my appearance that day. Though no name brands were visible on anything she'd worn so far, even with limited fashion knowledge, I was under the impression she preferred vintage designer clothing.

Today, for example, she wore a white and mint green sun dress with a classic empire waist and delicate, white flip flop sandals. The dress was flowy - chiffon maybe? It moved beautifully with her tiny figure. In her shiny, dark hair she wore a headband that she'd managed to skillfully attach a white daisy to. I knew it wasn't fake, I could faintly smell it whenever she moved. With all the white Alice wore today, her green eyes looked even prettier.

Once class began, Alice wrote me a note and slipped it to me while the teacher outlined the main points of the civil rights movement on the board.

_**What are you doing after school today?**_

I read her note twice before deciding to tell a white lie. I'd been planning on going to the school newspaper meeting that day. I figured letting Alice know I was a huge nerd wasn't quite the impression I was going for.

_**Have to run errands for my dad. You?**_

I passed the note back to her successfully, and she responded right away.

_**Oh too bad :( Was gonna invite you somewhere. Maybe next week!**_

_**:\**_ was my reply, a face I probably did make when I wrote it. I contemplated taking her up on the invite after all, but then she would have known I lied.

We passed notes for the remainder of class, and never got caught. It made me smile to think of how long it had been since I'd done something even remotely immature. Being the mother figure in mine and Renee's relationship had taken a toll on my attitude in general as I'd entered my teens. It felt so good to just act silly and not care.

Lauren wasn't in study hall that day, and I felt somewhat relieved. I had no one to talk to, but I also didn't have to keep up polite conversation about myself again. My mind was still a jumbled mess of questions and emotions stemming from the strange moment Alice and I had shared earlier, so I decided to work on some math problems I'd been assigned as homework. Math usually helped me focus, probably because it came about as naturally to me as hieroglyphics. Plus, getting that assignment out of the way meant one less text book to drag home later.

Halfway through, I asked for permission to use the ladies room. I had to search for a few minutes, but I finally found a set of bathrooms near the back stairwell. As soon as I slipped into the one that was sloppily labeled 'GIRLSS' in what looked like sharpie marker, I smelled cigarette smoke.

Inside, four girls were huddled around the entrance to the handicapped stall, furiously puffing away, not speaking. They all spun to face me when I entered. I awkwardly took care of my business without looking at any of them again and re-entered the hallway, disgusted and desperate for fresh air.

At the same time, someone came barreling out of the men's bathroom and right into my path. I stopped short.

"Well, looks like you're clearly following me."

It was Pink Pen Boy..._again_.

He, too, smelled of smoke. The fitted, dark red t-shirt he wore was pulled up on one side, and a half empty pack of cigarettes was sticking out of his jeans pocket.

"No!" I yelped. "I was just peeing!"

_I really, really just said that. Really, Bella? Really_?

He brandished his crooked smile at me again, rendering me helpless. I was stuck there, alone with him in an abandoned hallway, melting. I felt so stupid, letting this strange boy affect me like this ... yet there I stood.

"You sure you were just peeing? You kind of smell like -"

"I don't smoke. It's gross!" I snapped, cutting him off without even thinking.

Before I could make an ass of myself any more - or insult him again - I bounded down the hallway and around the corner, back to study hall. The bell rang a few minutes later, and, heart still pounding, I went to lunch.

Everyone was at the table already when I arrived. When Jasper saw me, he reached around and pulled out the chair on Alice's left side.

"Such a gentleman," Alice cooed, grinning at her love. I shot him a genuine smile of thanks.

"How's your second day going, Bella?" Emmett asked, holding his fist out towards me. I looked at him, and then at his fist, confused.

"You're supposed to bump it," Rosalie said finally, unamused. "It's a dude thing. I'm starting to think it's the only way Emmett knows how to greet other humans."

"I greet you with a kiss every day, babe. Doesn't that count?" he asked her mockingly, an exaggerated kiss-ass grin on his face.

"I'm different," she pouted, leaning into him.

Girlfriend appeased, Emmett resumed holding his fist out, and I bumped it with mine. "Hey-ooo!" he howled. "So really, how's it going? How many guys have asked you out yet? More importantly, who have you turned down?"

I laughed loudly, startling even myself.

"It's going good," I admitted. "Haven't been asked out, yet. Wasn't aware I'd have to watch for that."

"Oh!" Emmett's eyes widened. "In that case, what're you doing Friday night?" He winked jokingly. Rosalie punched his arm, but he didn't flinch.

"He's a douche. Sorry Is - I mean, Bella," Rosalie said. I wasn't sure if that was her being nice to me, so I played it safe.

"Not a problem," I said, shrugging. "I've already met worse here."

"Who?" Alice chimed in, smiling as always. She pushed an open bag of Doritos at me.

"I...I don't know his name," I admitted. "He's kind of an ass, though. I've run into him like twice just today. He was in the -"

"Edward! Bro! I didn't know you had lunch fifth!" Emmett roared, jumping up from his seat. Before I knew what was happening, a sixth chair was being added to the table. I scooted over along with Alice and Rose. When Emmett sat back down, Pink Pen Boy was next to him.

_Of course, why wouldn't he be here? And he thinks I'm following him_?

He looked around the table briefly, his eyes lingering on me for a moment.

"I actually don't. I have lunch fourth. I think I might switch though, now that I know where you creepers have been hiding," Edward said softly, crooked smile in place. Emmett fist bumped him, and I couldn't help but smile. Rose even had a smirk on her face as she shook her head at them.

"Good timing, Edward!" Alice squealed. "Bella, I want you to meet my twin brother, Edward. Edward, meet Bella."

My heart either skipped a beat or stopped completely, I wasn't sure which. He looked at me silently for a moment, and I visualized the red appearing on my cheeks and quickly flooding the rest of my face, spreading to my ears.

"We've met, actually," he said finally. "We share a table in biology."

"Ha! What a coincidence!" Alice giggled. "You're lucky, Bella. Edward is only taking that class for fun because he's run out of electives. He's actually in AP Chem. He took bio last year and aced it."

All five sets of eyes were on me, and it took everything I had to force a smile.

_I guess I'm not finishing the story about the asshole I keep running into.._.

Once conversation resumed amongst the others, I casually looked from Alice back to Edward, and to Alice again. _Twins_? I never would have guessed that. Alice's hair was definitely darker, while Edward's was a lighter, copper shade. Her face was softer, while his jaw could split stone. They had one prominent trait in common - their green eyes. Suddenly it dawned on me why I'd noticed his eyes so quickly in bio the day before - they were, indeed, familiar to me.

"Bella, hello?" Alice's voice cut into my thoughts.

"Hi," I replied absently. She laughed.

"So are you in?"

"In what?"

"I just _said_ that our parents are renewing their vows this year, and Rose and I are going to Seattle after school on Friday to buy clothes for the ceremony. I was wondering if you'd come with us?"

I glanced at Rose, expecting the same scowl she'd worn when I met her the day before. But she looked at me expectantly now, awaiting my answer.

"Uh, sure," I answered. The idea of spending time outside of school with Rose made me nervous. Jasper had said she and Alice were close. It wasn't hard to imagine Rose as a territorial person, and I didn't want her to think I was moving in to steal her best friend. Then again, I couldn't pass up a chance to hang out with Alice, either. Sure, I hated to shop, but this wasn't for me, anyway. I definitely had to go.

"Great! You should check with your dad, make sure it's okay if we leave right after school. Seattle is kind of a drive, but it's _so_ worth it!"

"Yeah, I will. Definitely," I told her, feeling Edward's gaze on me. I looked over and caught him staring. His eyes darted away immediately.

_Funny how Alice is so wonderful and her twin so weird_.

I left the table momentarily to buy an apple from the lunch line. When I returned, Alice had my phone and was doing something with it.

"Oh, Bella, sorry! Don't think I'm being a psycho. I just put my number in your phone," she said quickly. "Here, scroll down to my name and text me, and then I'll have yours, too!"

I texted her a quick 'hi!' and sat back down. A minute later, my phone vibrated on the table.

_**My brother is staring at you**_...

I gasped as I read it and pulled my phone onto my lap beneath the table, out of Rose's sight. Alice giggled wildly, and I felt like hiding.

Then the bell rang.

_Thank God_!

Apparently it would have been too good to be true for my second day to go perfectly.

I'd managed to avoid conversation with Edward in biology because he'd shown up late, after the lesson had begun. I figured he'd slipped away for a filthy cigarette break, which, for some reason, annoyed me. With a little effort, it had been reasonably easy to focus on taking notes, rather than his intoxicating presence.

When the bell rang, I'd bolted from the room before he could say anything to me. It was a relief to not have to think of something to say to him, yet I felt a tinge of disappointment mixed in, too, which I purposely refused to contemplate further.

I automatically headed for the locker rooms without checking my schedule. It hadn't occurred to me that gym wasn't a daily class, or that I had a health class on opposite days. I'd confidently marched into the ladies' locker room and was dumbfounded to find it empty.

_ Am I late_? I wondered.

I slipped out and went into the main gym where we'd met the previous day, and students were starting to gather on the bleachers again. I didn't recognize any of them, and several turned to look at me just as I realized I was in the wrong place.

I dropped my head and left quickly, embarrassed. As I rounded the corner, I heard a familiar voice and, on impulse, stopped to listen. It was Lauren, and it was coming from what looked to be a private locker room, probably used for after-school sports teams. The door was wide open.

"She obviously thinks she's just going to come here and be, like I don't know, the _shit_," I heard Lauren say. Other female voices, ones I didn't know, agreed with her. "Like, just because you're new doesn't mean anything. She's just a _junior_. And apparently she's trying to get with _Edward Cullen!_" The laughter echoed down the hall.

It felt like my heart had dislodged from its place and plunged to the bottom of my stomach.

_ They're talking about __**me**_!

"No girl in Forks has _ever_ gotten with him," a second, even more annoying voice, exclaimed. "She'll find out soon enough."

I'd decided that I needed to get the hell out of there – and quickly – when I heard another voice. I did recognize it, but it wasn't Lauren's.

"You three _would_ be shit talking the new girl on her second day. Fucking ridiculous."

_Rosalie_?

"Um, I'm pretty sure we weren't talking to you," Lauren said, her words full of attitude but her voice, not so much.

"Like I give two shits," Rose spat.

"You're just going to defend her because she sits at your table now? What are you, _friends_?" That was the other girl I didn't know, again. I wished I could see her face, so I knew who I didn't like.

"She could sit on _Mars;_ you three would still be stupid, petty bitches. Shit talking a girl you don't even know. Though I guess I can understand ... if she actually _did_ get with Edward Cullen, how bad would that make _you_ three look? You've all been throwing yourselves at him since he was a freshman!"

Aside from being completely shocked at what I was hearing, I had to put some serious effort into keeping silent and holding back my laughter. My respect for Rosalie had at least doubled in the last minute or so.

I recognized the shuffling sounds that indicated they were picking up to exit the locker room. I flung myself towards the stairs and took them in twos until I reached the next floor. The bell had already rung.

Since it was only the first day of health class, I luckily hadn't missed much. When I found my classroom, I apologized profusely to the teacher, an older, jolly-looking woman with tiny reading glasses perched uselessly on the very end of her nose. She'd just waved me by with a smile, and murmured something about understanding. It was a smaller classroom, and not everyone from our gym class was present. Alice was, though, and she'd saved me a seat.

I was still shaken over what I'd encountered outside the locker room, and when the final bell of the day rang, Alice caught me zoning out ... again.

"So I guess I'll see you tomorrow, then?" she'd asked slowly. I nodded and suddenly remembered my lie about having to help Charlie.

"Yeah, I'll see you in history," I said, my heart pounding with regret. I wanted so badly to follow Alice wherever she was going next. I briefly wondered if I should skip the newspaper meeting and backtrack on my story so that I could stay with her longer.

Suddenly, Alice threw her arms around me and gave me a big hug. She smelled sweet, like strawberries maybe. I hugged her back eagerly, hoping she couldn't hear or feel my heart pounding once again.

"Later, Bella!" she called after pulling away, skipping out of the room and down the hall, disappearing into the swarms of students.

It took me a while to locate the library, and I was half an hour early for the newspaper staff meeting once I arrived. I dropped my bag onto an empty table and flopped into a chair. Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I realized I had a text.

_**Hope everything's okay. xoxo **_

It was from Alice. I thought back to how I must have looked after running from the locker rooms to my last class, and realized she'd probably noticed. Without thinking, I replied.

_**Yep, I'm fine :D Today was much better! xoxo **_

__I thought about sending another, telling her about what I'd heard between Lauren and Rosalie. _What if she goes right back to Rose, though_? _What if Rose got pissed_? I knew what I'd heard hadn't been meant for my ears, and I definitely knew that under no circumstances did I want Rosalie to dislike me.

I decided it would be better to keep this to myself, for now.

It hadn't shocked me to hear Lauren say those things about me. Sure, even though I found her mildly annoying, I'd still wanted to believe she meant well. But Alice had warned me, and apparently Rose had been right about her. It wouldn't be a problem to stay away from her now that I knew, but how many other girls thought the way she did?

I felt the paranoia begin to take root, and I tried to will those fears away. My instinct was to always expect the worst possible outcome, and I was tired of it. If Rosalie could so easily tell those girls off on my behalf, I surely didn't need them for friends. That much had to be true.

_And Lauren thinks I'm trying to get with Edward_? That was the most ridiculous part of all. I hadn't even known his name until lunch that day. If anything, I was hoping to see him a little _less_ often. Well, sort of.

I stood and began to look through a cart of books yet to be returned to the shelves. A few minutes later, people began to arrive and put their things down on the surrounding tables, so I sat down, too, and waited patiently.

"Hey, guys! Sorry I'm late!"

Alice bounded through the door as if she'd been running. She had with her a stack of writing pads, three unopened packages of ballpoint pens and a few newspapers tucked underneath her arm. Closely trailing her was the teacher that monitored my study hall. It occurred to me why he had jumped at the chance to inform me about the meeting - he was the supervisor. If anyone was running this meeting, though, I guessed it would be Alice.

Suddenly, my heart sunk - and I did, too, into my chair. Any minute Alice would notice me, and know I'd lied to her about my plans today. It was a relief to realize I didn't have to lie about my nerdy interest, but I was acutely aware that she might very well be hurt and offended I hadn't told her the truth. There was no way to exit that library now without drawing attention to myself.

"Bella?" _Shit. She saw me_.

"Hey," I called meekly, giving a pathetic little wave.

"I thought you were running errands?"

"I - uh, Charlie just called me. He said he had it all taken care of. And I remembered hearing about this meeting yesterday, so I thought I'd come by..." I felt like I was digging my own grave as far as my friendship with Alice went. _Hell, it's already dug. I'm just filling it back in, now_.

"How weird! This is what I meant when I told you I wanted to invite you to something!" she squealed, bouncing a bit.

She was so adorable; I had to smile at her despite how guilty I felt.

"I wasn't sure if you'd be into it, but I help run the school newspaper. I get to take pictures, and I write a poem about the school year for every issue and Mr. Krauss is nice enough to include it."

"That's awesome," I said, becoming excited despite myself. "I _love_ to write. I actually wrote for the paper at my old school. I'm kind of a ... news freak, I guess. I like to write in general, really. But the news - journalism - that's my favorite subject. I love the sense of accomplishment when my stories go to press."

"Bella! You didn't tell me that! I totally _love_ to write, too! I always wanted to be a writer growing up, but my uncle told me it wasn't reasonable to reach for that alone, because it can take years to make money off it." Her smile faded as she finished her sentence. "But, yeah, I still do it. Because I love it."

I gulped.

"I was told the same thing," I admitted quietly. "By my mother's boyfriend."

Just mentioning Renee, and _him_, I felt a sick feeling in my stomach. I remembered I'd meant to call her after school, and realized the meeting would likely run too long for me to catch her before Phil came home.

Alice paused and looked down at me thoughtfully, putting a hand on my shoulder.

"You know," she said slowly, "believe it or not, I've never had that in common with a friend before. Writing, I mean."

Our eyes locked again for a moment, and I melted for her a little bit. Jasper's words from before echoed inside my head. I decided I wasn't going to lie to Alice ever again. Clearly, I'd been totally wrong to lie to her about my writing. If I was truly determined to leave behind old, unsociable Bella in Phoenix, I needed to make sure I didn't push away the one person it had been effortless to befriend.

I never did call Renee that night.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: The Sights of Seattle

"_Women keep a special corner of their hearts for sins they have never committed_." - Cornelia Otis Skinner

The topic of conversation at lunch on Friday was Seattle, whether anyone liked it or not. Though I would only be tagging along for the shopping excursion after school that day, Alice and Rose's excitement was contagious and I found myself eagerly discussing the various options they had in terms of what to wear for Alice's parents' renewal of vows ceremony.

Emmett and Jasper were good sports about it, shaking their heads from time to time when Alice would think of a new idea and practically squeal. Otherwise, they sat together on the other side of the table, heads down in a low conversation of their own. Emmett seemed more sedated than usual, but not unhappy. The sun was out for the second time that week, Lauren had been absent from study hall again and I'd passed my first pop quiz of the school year. _Week one, I made it..._

Ten minutes before lunch let out, Edward sauntered into the cafeteria. Even from the opposite side of the room, I felt his presence. I'd looked up mid-sentence and noticed him immediately, his hands in his pockets and his head down, taking his time coming over. I knew before he even arrived how my body would react once he sat down; the forest-green shirt he wore was almost the exact shade of his eyes when he was deep in thought, the way he'd been during our biology lab the day before. There hadn't been enough air in the room that period, and I was truly becoming resentful of the way he managed to affect me without even speaking. There was no way around him, though, without also avoiding Alice, and that just wasn't going to happen if I could help it.

"Bella...?" Rose urged me to finish what I'd been saying, but truth be told, I'd forgotten.

"Um..." I began, hoping she'd get the hint. She and Alice both sat patiently, waiting for me to remember. "How long is the ride to Seattle again?"

"Well, if you go the speed limit, like three hours," Rosalie said, a smirk creeping across her face. "I'm driving, so it will probably be more like two."

I laughed, pretending not to notice Edward join our table. Alice wondered aloud about wearing white shoes after Labor Day and I reinvested my focus into our conversation, adjusting my seat strategically to angle away from the boys.

According to Alice, Rose had let her guard down to me more quickly than she or even the boys had expected. Why she'd chosen to accept me, I did not know. I still hadn't told anyone about witnessing her stick up for me to Lauren, which I also could not yet explain. It was impossible to miss the difference in the way she regarded me, though, compared to my first day at Forks.

I, in turn, felt more at ease, not to mention less intimidated by Rose – even when she let loose her sarcastic side. I found myself going barb for barb with her, and if she was impressed, she didn't show it, but Alice and Jasper definitely were. Emmett would sit with an amused grin on his face, taking in the show, fist-bumping me when we were through and then landing a sloppy kiss on Rose's cheek that she'd pretend to not like.

The bell rang and we stood, moving as a group to the doors. Alice linked her arm through mine and rested her chin on my shoulder as we moved.

"He's looking at your tush," she whispered next to my ear. Her breath tickled and my heart rate doubled for a moment, for more than one reason. I instinctively elbowed her, albeit gently, and she laughed. "I'll see you in health, mama."

"See you, Alice," I called as we separated, watching her make a path through students towards her next class.

I sensed Edward behind me now as we inched our way up the crowded stairwell to biology, and remembered Alice's warning. As casually as I could, I wiggled my left arm out of the strap on my book bag, allowing it to hang just from my right shoulder and fall across my ass. Even through the commotion of footsteps, dozens of conversations around us and lockers opening and slamming shut, I thought I heard Edward snicker.

The rest of the school day rushed by, thankfully. Edward had never shown up to biology, even though I'd seen him behind me in the hallway on the way there. I'd collected an extra worksheet for him and tried to convince myself that I didn't really care whether he ever handed it in. As much as I despised the fact that I always managed to make an ass of myself around him, Edward's empty seat had admittedly put a damper on my afternoon.

"Bella, you ready?"

Alice grabbed my hand as the final bell rang and pulled me along with her as she raced out of health class, down the hallway and finally through the double doors and straight into the parking lot. I hated to think of how many people we'd mowed down in the process.

"Alice, I prefer that arm in its socket!" I moaned as we came to a stop beside Rose's candy-red Mustang convertible.

"Sorry," she murmured, stepping back to me and rubbing the offended arm. "Got excited." I watched her as she balanced on her tip-toes without wavering, as if the extra half inch of height helped, looking around anxiously for our driver. The smile on her face didn't fade.

_How could anyone ever get mad at this girl? I bet she's never even been grounded_.

Rosalie joined us a few minutes later, Emmett and Jasper on her heels.

"Ladies, shall we?" Rose unlocked the car and I climbed into the back seat, taking the girls' book bags with me while they enjoyed a quiet moment with their boyfriends. After sitting in the sun all day, the black leather seats were hot, the air inside of the car stale. Watching Alice and Jasper stealing kisses from the corner of my eye, I began to feel annoyed. A sweat was forming along my brow and I had to lean forward, close to the open car door in order to inhale fresh air. When the girls finally climbed into the car and the engine revved to life, I relaxed and sat back, ready for our adventure.

"Oh, Rose, hold on. Edward's following us," Alice murmured, watching the line of cars exiting the lot. Involuntarily I sucked in too much cold air bursting through the vent beside me and began to cough violently.

Rose ignored me, looking annoyed. "Your brother is coming? I thought this was a girls' night."

"He's not going to the mall," Alice said defensively. "He's just following us to Seattle. There's some museum exhibit nearby he wants to check out. Some artist from New York is there."

A silver Volvo pulled up behind us and honked, signaling Rose to move. The windows, even the windshield, of the car were tinted but I knew it was Edward in there. I hadn't even considered the fact that he was still on school grounds, given his absence from class. I wondered where he'd been, though I was pretty confident I already knew. Glancing back at him behind us, I noticed a faint wisp of smoke swirl from the drivers' side window.

Once we were on the highway, Rose put the top down and turned the music up, and conversation was put on the back-burner. I reveled in that feeling – the sun on my face, wind whipping my hair all over, knowing I'd have the entire evening to spend with Rose and Alice, not having to worry about school again until Monday.

_This is how weekends are supposed to feel when you're sixteen_, I realized. _This is what I've been missing_.

I watched Alice and Rose as we drove, pretty silk scarves tied neatly around their heads to protect their hair, oversized sunglasses covering most of their faces. I imagined we were in a music video, driving down an endless highway in a fancy car, the epitome of The Good Life. Every now and then I glanced back, the silver Volvo was never out of focus no matter how Rose weaved in and out of traffic, cutting slower cars off so smoothly they didn't bother honking.

An Aerosmith song came on the radio, and while the rush of wind made it difficult to tell which it was, I joined Alice when she began to sing random lines from several different songs of theirs, stopping to laugh when the lines put together sounded ridiculous. I laughed more on the way to Seattle than I had since I'd left Phoenix.

"I need to _pee_," Alice moaned as we circled through an underground parking lot for the eighth time. Rose snorted, then practically stood on the gas pedal, shooting the car forward and just barely beating an old Ford to an open spot.

"Finally!" Rose cut the engine and peeled herself out of the seat, shaking her hair out of her scarf. Alice followed suit, swaying from side to side as she did so. "Alright, alright, let's find a bathroom."

I exited the car last, realizing immediately why scarves were a good idea. My hair was a virtual rat's nest. As we hurried towards the elevators, without thinking and for no reason whatsoever, I ran up behind Rose and smacked her ass.

_OhmygodI'mgonnadie_.

Rose spun to face me, and I expected her to reciprocate the smack, but across my face. Or maybe just a clean punch in the jaw. Instead, she grinned.

"Yeees?"

All at once I remained shocked that I'd done that to Rose, even more so that she wasn't going to end my life where I stood, and horrified that Alice had seen the entire thing. It did not immediately register that Alice was laughing and seemed to think nothing of it.

"I, uh," I stuttered, feeling the heat spread across my cheeks and not even bothering to try to stop it. "Can I use a brush or something? I didn't think the hair thing through..."

Before Rose could answer, four horn honks sounded in quick succession, echoing off the concrete walls of the garage. We all turned to see the silver Volvo behind us, drivers' side window rolled down to reveal Edward in a pair of Ray Bans.

"I'll meet you ladies back here around nine?" he called.

"Nine it is!" Alice called back, waving. "Have fun!"

He grinned at her, nodded, and zoomed off, the echo of his tires squealing remained after he'd already exited the garage. My embarrassment largely faded as I watched him go. I wondered what kind of art installment he was going to see, and why it was going to take him nearly four hours to see it all.

_Too bad we can't tag along with __him__ for a while, just to see _...

Alice and Rose's shopping extravaganza had a slow start. I followed them politely from store to store, offering careful opinions when asked, smiling at all the right times. I kept my hands to myself this time and my words were few, paranoid that Rose hadn't taken my head off only because Alice was there. The girls were very focused and I found myself wondering who was funding this trip, as the prices on some of the items they'd tried on turned my stomach over. I certainly didn't mind being there, but I also wasn't having much fun, either. There was no joking around or meaningful conversation; this was all business.

We reached Macy's around seven and while Alice helped Rose carry items into a dressing room, I collapsed onto an upholstered couch right outside and checked my phone.

Charlie had called, twice. I swallowed nervously, forgetting that I'd told him we'd only gone to Port Angeles, a fraction of the distance from Forks as Seattle was. While I wanted to call him back and make sure things were fine, I feared I'd make a mistake and blow my cover.

I hadn't wanted to lie to Charlie. He'd been open to my going out on a Friday night – happy even, considering I'd told him how excited I was to have already made friends. But when I mentioned I planned on leaving town, his expression had changed. I didn't have the heart to tell Alice I couldn't go, so I'd lied. I'd told him an adult was with us, too. _Rose is eighteen, that counts_, I'd told myself, if only to make my guilt less of a burden.

"Bella, come in here! You're supposed to be _helping_!" Alice called, laughter in her voice. I found myself grinning and eagerly jumped up, forgetting about my missed calls, and entered the dressing stall when Rose opened the door for me.

It was a tight fit with all three of us, but when I found a corner to back into and looked up at Alice and Rose, it suddenly felt even smaller. They both stood a foot apart, dressed in nothing but their underwear.

Rose, especially, was a sight. All she wore was a red thong and matching lace bra, looking around thoughtfully at the clothes to try on as if she felt no different nearly naked as clothed. Her breasts were bigger than I'd ever noticed, filling the bra cups and then some. _She could easily be a model_, I realized. _Easily_.

Whereas her cups literally runneth over, the image of a sex siren, her waist was tiny, the thong stretched over the soft curves of her hips. Her legs went on forever. I'd never in person seen another girl in her underwear so flawlessly beautiful as Rose, and I couldn't do a whole lot about the fact that I was mesmerized.

Reluctantly, I looked away, to Alice then. She, too, wore only a bra and itty-bitty boy-short style underwear. Hers matched, too, but they were light green instead of red. Alice's body was just as flawless, just as impossible to look away from. Her breasts were smaller, but perky and filled the cups of her little satin bra. Her tummy was washboard flat, and I wondered if it felt soft like the rest of her body looked, or if it was hard, lean muscle.

Unaware of my gaze, she turned to pick her first garment to try on and I noticed how perfectly round her behind was. A normal girl, I figured, would have been wondering what exercises she did for an ass like that. Instead, I found myself wanting to feel it.

_What the hell is wrong with me today_?

"Okay, Rose you should definitely try on that one dress," Alice said, pointing. "If that's the one, you won't even need the rest of this."

Rose carefully took a dark blue, strapless dress off its hanger and shimmied into it, her back to us as a signal for one of us to zip her up. Alice, thankfully, took the hint more quickly than I did, my senses dulled by how turned on I was getting by all of this. I could tell right away the dress fit her like a second skin, before she even turned around, and I tried to prepare myself for that.

"Hold on, Alice," Rose spat suddenly. "Unzip it!"

My throat closed up when Alice complied and Rose swiftly unhooked her bra and let it fall to the ground. I immediately looked straight down, aware that thanks to the mirrors on each of the walls, Rose wasn't hiding a thing.

"Bella, you have them, too," Rose laughed.

"I know," I answered her, still not looking up. Alice finally zipped Rose up again, and she turned back to face us.

"Well?"

As I'd predicted, Rose looked _amazing_. The blue emphasized the color of her eyes and flattered her creamy skin, not to mention her curves. She could have been preparing for a Hollywood red carpet in that dress.

"It's perfect," I told her honestly. "If you don't buy that dress, you're an idiot."

Alice stayed quiet, continuing to look Rose over.

"Thank you," Rose replied quietly. "I ... I do like it. I don't know if it's appropriate for the event, though." She looked disappointed.

"I might have to agree," Alice said finally. My heart sunk for Rose. I could tell she felt like a million bucks just trying it on. Before I could suggest she wear something over it, she motioned for Alice to unzip her again. I bent down and retrieved her bra from the floor and held it out for her, looking away. She took it, laughing again.

"Careful, Alice. Don't let Bella see boobies!" Rose joked as Alice tried on an outfit now. I stuck my hands in my pockets, keeping my eyes on the floor. There was no use trying to hide my embarrassment in a room of mirrors.

"Aw, Bella's just being respectful," Alice responded softly. She finished pulling a delicate pink silk top over her head and her hand reached for mine. "What do you think, Bella?"

I looked up at her as she waited for my reply. I thought she looked beautiful, angelic even, with the pastel colors in the skirt and top she had on. There was a faint flush to her cheeks that wasn't always there, and a small smile on her lips that usually was. I suddenly realized that I wanted more than anything to kiss her, though I knew I couldn't.

"It's ... it's really you, Alice. It's beautiful," I spoke carefully, reminding myself to breathe. "I mean the colors, the fit, it's perfect. Definitely appropriate for a wedding. I really like it."

"She's right," Rose added, surveying her. "It's pretty perfect for you."

"Yay! It's mine, then!" Alice squeaked, posing before the mirror. She turned back to me and took my hand again. "Once Rose picks an outfit, since we know she'll look great in _anything_ she tries on, we have to find you something!"

"Me?" I choked, caught totally off guard. "I don't have any money on me. I – I'm not even invited!" Rose paused, one eyebrow cocked. Alice looked equally confused.

"You didn't think I would drag you shopping with us if I didn't want you to come, did you? That would be like asking you to help me write invitations to my birthday party and then not inviting you! Besides, my mom and dad have heard so much about you already! They'll be happy to have you there!"

"I haven't even met them!" I protested. "I can't just show up to their wedding!"

"It's just a vow renewal," Rose argued. "Besides, they'll love you, I can tell already." She stepped into a black pencil skirt and zipped it up, turning sideways and studying her reflection.

"I don't even have money," I repeated, suddenly realizing I would lose this battle. "I can't buy anything to wear."

Alice stepped towards me so that her face was mere inches from my own. I was reminded of my desire to kiss her, a fresh blush breaking across my cheeks.

"Then you'll come over tonight after we get back to town and we'll find something in my closet you can borrow," she said, her hands coming to rest on my hips. "We're about the same size, probably. You're taller, but your waist is so small!"

I conceded, then, admitting defeat. I knew I'd have to call Charlie back now, since I wouldn't be home before midnight at this rate. I prayed over and over that he wouldn't say no and insist I come straight home from shopping. Deep down I knew the night would end in disappointment no matter what – I would, at some point, have to go home and leave Alice.

And then I'd have plenty of time to contemplate the strange feelings I'd had in that dressing room.

Both Alice and Rose had made their necessary purchases by eight o'clock, and we'd grown both bored and hungry. We found the food court and while I opted for a slice of pizza, the girls chose to wait in a long line for sushi. I claimed an empty table and, as I waited, took the opportunity to call Charlie back.

"Bella?" he'd answered, his voice muffled. I could tell he'd been asleep, probably in front of the television. "Where are you?

"Port Angeles, remember?" I responded. "You were napping, I assume?"

"Yah," he admitted, yawning into the phone. "When you coming home?"

"Actually, I wanted to ask you about that. Alice asked if I could come to her house for a while once we get back? I'll have a ride home, don't worry about that. But I'll probably be a little late..."

"Alice who?" he demanded. "I don't know an Alice."

"Cullen," I said. "Remember? I told you that this morning."

"Doctor Cullen's daughter?"

"I guess?" I didn't remember Alice mention her father's line of work, but the tone in Charlie's voice gave me hope.

"Well, alright," he said finally. "But I want you home before one. No later than that, you're not an adult yet, Bells."

"Thanks dad!" I agreed to his terms eagerly and we hung up just as Rose and Alice sat down with their food. "I can come over tonight," I told them.

"Awesome!" Alice said, sounding genuinely excited. "You'll get to meet my parents then!"

Suddenly, a fourth body joined our already-crowded table. My body tensed immediately, before my mind even caught on.

"Subjecting your new friend to a sleepover already?" Edward inquired of his sister, crooked smile in place. The familiar scent of his cologne paralyzed me, and I just stared at him like an idiot, once again.

"No," Alice sighed. "She's just coming over for a while. OH! Speaking of sleepovers, though..."

"Mom said I could have the house that weekend," Edward cut her off. "She already said so."

"But Edward, I want to have my friends over..." Alice's big, green eyes grew wider as she stuck her lower lip out in the most devastating puppy-eyed pout I'd ever seen on a human being. "We won't bother you."

I was now staring at Alice rather than her brother, completely stuck on her pout. I found myself imagining sucking her soft, pink lower lip between my own, running my tongue along it...

_Oh my GOD, this is getting ridiculous_... I fought to calm myself down.

"Fine," Edward mumbled. "I abhor when you do that."

"Bella! My parents are going on a second honeymoon to Paris right after they renew their vows and I want you to sleep over that night!" Alice spoke quickly, bouncing in her seat like a little girl. "Rose, you too, obviously."

"I'll be there," Rose said demurely, her eyes narrowing. "I know a fabulous sangria recipe we can try."

_Oh, Lord ... _I'd only ever drank once, at a graduation party for the daughter of one of Renee's coworkers. She'd casually slipped me mud slides all evening, and by the time we were ready to head home, I'd been completely sloshed and could hardly walk. I already knew that alcohol, plus Alice and Rosalie, plus myself, equaled trouble.

And I knew I'd be at that sleepover, no matter _what_.

After we ate, the girls wanted to run to one more store before leaving Seattle. I told them I'd wait at the table in the food court, and Edward decided to keep me company. _Great._

"Are you having fun?" he asked finally, after several silent, awkward minutes passed while I pretended to check something on my phone.

"Uhh, yeah," I said. He stared at me, not saying a word. "How was your museum?"

"Not as exciting as I'd hoped," he replied, no disappointment in his voice to detect. "I bought a painting."

"You what?" I wasn't an art expert, not in the least. But I knew that the kind of art that hangs in museums couldn't be cheap.

"For my parents, as an anniversary gift," he clarified. "I got them a painting of the beach at La Push. It's where they met."

I thought about that for a moment. I wanted to ask him how much he'd spent, but wondered if it would be rude. For the first time, he'd spoken without sarcasm, without joking around, and his voice took on a different tone to it. He seemed vulnerable, just a little, and I became eager to talk to him more, I wanted to see more of that side of him.

"That's actually a great gift," I said finally. "I'm sure they'll love it."

"My mom will," he agreed. "She loves art ... I inherited that hobby from her." I just nodded, imagining Mrs. Cullen as a brooding, flawless woman with alabaster skin and her twins' green eyes.

"You're early," I told him, not knowing what else to say. _Awkward, as always_, I chided myself.

"So you like to write?" Edward asked me suddenly, ignoring my previous statement. He had been staring down at the table, fidgeting with the battery cover on his phone. Now his gaze held mine as he awaited my answer.

"Yeah, I uh. I like to write." _Alice must have told him_. "Journalism. And fiction. But mostly...mostly journalism."

"It's good my sister found you, then," he said decidedly. "She needs friends on her level."

Before I could respond, Rose and Alice returned, several new shopping bags weighing them down. I didn't resist rolling my eyes, which Edward saw and smiled crookedly at an angle from which only I could see. I decided that despite the awkward reactions his presence evoked from me, I really, _really_ liked that smile, especially when it was meant just for me.

We got back to Forks just before eleven, Edward parking alongside Rose's Mustang in front of an enormous, modern-looking house at a dead end on a road I'd never been down before. Even in the dark, the house was impressive – there had to be two dozen large windows just on the front, and a beautiful balcony nearly the entire length of the house on what looked to be the second or third story.

Alice led us up the walkway and to the front door, struggling with all her shopping bags even though Edward and I carried a few for her. Once inside, my eyes quickly adjusted to the light and focused on the couch, where Alice's parents were in each others arms, asleep. The television was on, a large bowl with just popcorn kernels on the glass coffee table.

All four of us tiptoed silently in single file through the living room and up a winding staircase. That alone was a feat for me, as I'd pictured myself tripping and slamming into a table or book case with each step. At the top of the stairs, Edward handed me two of Alice's shopping bags and turned left, directly into a dark bedroom I assumed was his. Rose and I followed Alice all the way down a long, narrow hallway and turned to the right at the end into another room. Alice clicked on a light and I nearly choked.

Alice's room was _huge_. It was definitely attached to the balcony I'd seen when we'd pulled up, though at the time I'd assumed it was a family room or something similar. _Who has their own balcony_?

Indeed, this bedroom spanned most of the length of the house and had room enough for a king-size bed, two small couches, several small tables, an enormous entertainment console, and a walk-in closet with double doors, ornately carved and painted a soft pink to match the walls and incredibly feminine décor. Through the balcony doors, I saw that the Cullens' house was in fact seated on a hill, and from Alice's room one could see almost to the highway.

"Nice, huh?" Rose asked, noticing my awe. "And I thought _I_ had money. My parents are well off, but believe me, our house is _nothing_ compared to this."

I laughed because I had to. Alice's room alone was incomprehensible. The house was straight out of a movie, as far as I was concerned.

"My parents have a room just as a big, with a balcony facing the back woods," Alice added. "So don't think they spoiled me and let me have the biggest room in the house."

"No, you're not spoiled _at all_," Rose teased, grabbing Alice by the waist and, picking her clear up off the floor, flipping her sideways onto the gigantic bed. A very brief pillow fight ensued, and that same paralyzing lust from earlier returned. I just watched, watched how Alice moved and twisted and flexed to avoid Rose's pummels. At one point, Rose was situated in the corner of the bed on all fours, her ass up in the air and her front end low to the mattress, like an animal ready to spring and attack. I could see clear down her shirt. I gulped, relieved, when they finally each gave up.

"We need to find Bella an outfit!" Alice chirped, jumping off the bed and padding over to her closet. I saw her disappear completely inside and a light clicked on. Reluctantly, I followed her, Rose on my heels. They each sorted through dresses, skirts, dress pants, tops, and shoes. I stood, awkward as ever, waiting to be dressed up like a helpless Barbie. Finally, after conferring with one another, they turned at once to face me and Rose held out a black satin dress.

"Try this," Rose instructed. I took it and turned, but before I could ask where the bathroom was, Rose grabbed my free arm and yanked me back. "You need to get over this boob-phobia of yours! We're all girls here, just try the damned thing on."

I swallowed, hard. Alice watched me closely, a concerned look on her face. I imagined she agreed with Rose but I couldn't tell. I slowly kicked my sneakers off and undressed before them, trying to frantically remember if I'd worn nice enough underwear. I didn't even _own_ anything that looked like what they had on.

"Here, we'll look this way if you want," Alice offered, manually turning Rose to face the back of the closet before doing the same. "Go ahead, try the dress on, mama."

_Thank you, God. I love this girl_.

I quickly finished peeling my jeans and top off and carefully maneuvered the dress over my hips.

"Zip?"

Rose eagerly turned and zipped the dress for me. I shivered from the sensation of her warm hand on my bare lower back at first.

"How's it look?"

"Hot MAMA!" Alice cooed, a radiant smile on her face that I couldn't help but mirror once I saw it. "Bella you look _incredible_!"

"Yes, this is it," Rose agreed smugly. "Totally appropriate for a wedding, or a date for that matter. Damn girl, who knew you had an _ass_ like that?"

"What?" My face was on fire, and I laughed like a moron, so unused to accepting compliments, especially ones like those. Especially ones like those from beautiful girls I hardly even really knew. Rose reached over and turned me to face away, then playfully tapped my ass as I had done to her earlier.

_Touche, Rosalie_. I finally felt less guilty about doing that, now that I knew how little I minded it...

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Edward's form slip into the shadows of the hallway.

_How long had he been staring there_? I panicked, wondering if he'd been able to see me in my underwear.

Neither of the girls had noticed, I could tell. I looked again, making sure he was really gone. Or had I just imagined him there?

"Alright, off," Alice demanded. "Save this for the nineteenth!"

I undressed again, keeping one eye on the hallway, and handed the dress off to Rose, who hung it back up.

Alice began to give me a tour of her bedroom after that, but yawned about six times in the process. I realized, sadly, that she was getting tired and it was probably time to go home.

"Hey, we'll get going if you want," Rose told her, as if she read my thoughts. "You're ready to conk out, I know you." Alice just smiled and shrugged. Rose hugged her quickly and went to use the bathroom. I stepped up to Alice, ready to hug her as well.

"I'm so glad you came tonight," Alice said softly. "You look stunning in that dress, Bella. I hope you know that."

"Thanks, Alice," I blushed. Her hand came to rest on my hip rather than my shoulder, and I froze. The desire to kiss her returned again, my heart pounding a thousand beats per second. She leaned in and planted a soft kiss on my cheek in place of the hug I'd been expecting. There couldn't have been enough blood in my veins to fuel my heart as quickly as it pounded away.

"I'll text you tomorrow, kay?"

"Sure," I breathed, almost allowing a moan to escape when she pulled away. With one last smile I tore myself away and followed Rose, grabbing her hand for balance as we moved down the dark, unfamiliar hallway. Alice's parents' door was closed now, but at the end of the hall, Edward's was open and the light was on. At the landing of the stairs, Rose stopped to wave goodnight to him, and I followed suit before freezing up for the hundredth time that night.

He was sitting at a cluttered computer desk, oversized headphones on, naked from the waist up. He waved at me, again with the stupid crooked grin I'd already decided to like. As if my entire body had been injected with Novocaine, I felt numb almost everywhere.

Rose suddenly yanked on my arm, nearly pulling me off balance and I followed her on rubbery legs, down the stairs and back out to the car in a haze.

"Do you want me to take you back to the school to get your truck?" she asked as we pulled away. "Or do you just wanna go home and crash? I could always get you tomorrow afternoon and bring you over there."

"Yeah, I'm actually a lot more tired than I thought," I confessed, the image of shirtless Edward burned into my brain. "If you don't mind, I'll just go home tonight. You don't have to bring me tomorrow, though. I'll get Charlie to."

"If you say so," she answered, yawning. We drove the rest of the way home in a comfortable silence. I was too tired, too overwhelmed with everything I'd thought about – and seen – to feel intimidated by driving alone with Rosalie. When she pulled up to the end of Charlie's driveway, she reached over and gave me a quick squeeze, the only hug she probably could give without taking off her seat belt. I squeezed her back and thanked her, dragging my still-heavy feet towards the door.

Just as I expected, the house was dark, Charlie having gone to bed hours ago. I carefully climbed the stairs to my room and collapsed into bed, still clothed, and I fell asleep before my head even touched the pillow.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Pushing Buttons

"_You learn to like someone when you find out what makes them laugh, but you can never truly love someone until you find out what makes them cry_." - unknown

"Bella?" Charlie whispered six inches from my face, early Saturday morning. My eyes flew open and I gasped at the rude awakening. "Oh, good. I thought you were in a coma. You slept in your clothes, you know that?"

I sat up stiffly and blinked a few times to clear my eyes. It was raining out.

"Yeah, dad. I know."

"Well do you know where your truck is?" He sounded annoyed now. I had to think for a minute.

"It's still at school," I told him finally. "I went with Alice and Rosalie right after class yesterday and Rose drove me home last night from Alice's. It was too late, I didn't want to drive because I was too tired."

Satisfied at my safety-first excuse, he left me alone so I could take a shower and change. Still exhausted, I thumped down the stairs and into the kitchen to make myself a bowl of cereal. I glanced at the clock and realized it was only nine in the morning. _Just because he likes to get up early on his day off shouldn't mean that I should have to_ ...

"Bells," Charlie called just as I sat down at the table, "we uh, we don't have much food here right now."

"I know, dad," I mumbled between bites. After a moment, he entered the kitchen and joined me at the table, a mug of coffee between his hands.

"I was wonderin', maybe would you want to come on down with me to the grocery store today? That way we can buy things we both like."

"Yeah," I nodded, feeling less cranky as I ate, "that would be fine. I do need to get my truck at some point, though."

"Alright," Charlie said. Without another word, he stood and went back to his recliner in the living room. I heard the channel change to ESPN. _Ah, football season_, I noted. _College games today_.

After breakfast I returned to my room to tidy up, not knowing exactly when Charlie planned on shopping. I retrieved a can of furniture polish from the hallway closet and dusted my dresser and desk, then swept my bedroom floor, made my bed, and finally connected my laptop, the battery in which desperately needed a charge.

Then I moved on to the bathroom, using a bleach cleaner to disinfect the sink and counter, cleaned the toilet, scrubbed down the shower and tub and tossed all the towels into my laundry basket, which I then proceeded to carry down the stairs and threw all of it into the machine with the last of the laundry soap.

Feeling accomplished, I returned to my room and plopped down into the rickety old wooden chair Charlie had given me to go with my desk.

My phone vibrated on the desktop beside me, and I instantly grabbed it, hoping to see Renee's name on the caller ID. But it was a text message, from Alice.

_**Hey! Hope it's not too early, just wanted to make sure you slept well! Xoxo**_

I didn't bother to hold back my smile as I re-read it twice before replying.

_**Nope, I'm awake! Slept like a baby! You? What are you doing today?**_

I didn't receive an answer right away, so I hesitantly paid attention to my laptop, instead. _Maybe Renee emailed me, and I haven't answered her and that's why she hasn't called. Maybe she thinks I'm angry with her_ ...

I realized I hadn't spoken to my mother since I'd gotten to Forks – two whole weeks. For us, that was a record.

My phone vibrated again.

_**Good! Spending the day with my dad. Edward and my mom went shopping at a new art supply store in Port Angeles. U?**_

I smiled again, more so at her reference to Edward this time. Based on what he'd told me about inheriting his mother's love of art, I began to get a sense of just how close they actually were. It was sweet, but also somewhat amusing to think of Edward Cullen, the cigarette-smoking, class-skipping, sarcastic, bad-ass as a momma's boy.

_**Homework, grocery shopping with my dad, etc**_.

I wrote back to her quickly, returning my attention to my laptop, which had finally finished loading. I double clicked the icon to open my email. Carefully, I scrolled through my inbox, checking off the spam mail for deletion as I went. I reached the bottom quickly; there was nothing from Renee. _Nice ... so she officially has not tried to contact me in two weeks. My plane could have gone down and I might not have made it here alive and she never even tried to check_...

My bitter anger towards my mother returned, two-fold. I picked my phone up, flipped it open, and closed it again.

_Why should I be the one to call? I had to leave because she wouldn't stop that alcoholic son of a bitch from hurting me, from hurting __**us**__. I uprooted my entire fucking life because of her bad decisions, and she doesn't even care to see how I'm doing? _

_ She chose him over me_.

Tears stung and threatened to fall, and I sucked in a huge breath and let it out slowly, determined to not let that happen. I didn't want to cry over her, over them. That would somehow allow them to win. I pictured them together in Jacksonville, sipping fancy alcoholic drinks on the beach, watching the waves, completely carefree.

Renee was free to do as she liked, I realized. She'd never really let having a daughter stop her from doing much, but she would always make it work. I took care of her, and in her own ways, she took care of me. And now she had Phil, and she didn't need me anymore. I'd always known my mother was a flake, but it was an endearing quality up until she'd met Phil. Now, I imagined I felt the same way all her old boyfriends must have felt – completely rejected, and the burn was that much worse because Renee couldn't even be bothered to pretend to care about her only daughter.

One rebel tear slipped free and quickly glided down my cheek and fell. I wiped it away immediately, as if someone might see. My phone vibrated again.

_**Facebook? ;)**_

_Facebook, what_? I wondered. I had one, yes. I hadn't checked it since I'd been in Forks, though. And honestly, I hardly even used it – I hadn't made enough friends over the years in Phoenix to even make it worth while.

I closed my email and navigated to the site, taking a moment to remember my password to sign in. Once I did, I was startled to find over twenty friend requests awaiting my approval. Alice, of course, was one, which explained her text. Rose, Emmett, Jasper, even Lauren were all amongst those requests. All of them were from Forks, some of them classmates I'd never even spoken to.

I accepted them all, even Lauren, as I was in no position to be turning down "friends" – even the shit-talking variety. I clicked onto my own profile to see what information I'd included on there when I'd signed up. I winced as my picture loaded on the left-hand side; it was a photo Renee had taken of me the summer before freshman year, and the only one I'd ever bothered to scan onto a computer. I was fourteen, and I looked about ten. _That needs to be updated, soon_ ...

Only a minute or two passed before a red notification popped up on my screen to indicate that Alice had left a message on my page. I grinned, forgetting my anger at Renee momentarily, and refreshed the page.

_**Yay! I 3 Bella!**_

Around noon, Charlie finally came upstairs and asked if I was ready to go. We took his police cruiser down to the grocery store and he instructed me to lead the way, insisting on pushing the cart instead of picking what went inside it. Aisle by aisle, we stocked up on the basics – milk, bread, pasta, fresh vegetables. He looked vaguely unfamiliar with some of these, and I guessed he'd eaten a lot of microwavable dinners in the last decade or so. I made sure to choose things that were on sale and only picked out foods I knew I could incorporate into specific meals, rather than things that just looked good.

"Uh, here, take the cart," Charlie said quietly when we reached the non-food section of the store. "I need some deodorant, you know the kind I use. Get whatever else you need."

I was all at once surprised and grateful for the bashful respect he showed in allowing me to add my personal products to his bill. He wandered off to flip through a magazine while I strolled the aisle, picking out a new toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant for both of us, shampoo, and face wash. This trip, I realized, couldn't have come at a better time – I'd been living off travel-sized soaps and lotions, and they were running out.

The bill came to over $200, and I glanced nervously at Charlie as he paid, but he didn't flinch. I knew he wasn't used to spending that much and felt guilty, yet he seemed to be in good spirits as we pushed the shopping cart out into the parking lot.

"Thanks," I said, tapping his arm so he'd look at me. "I appreciate you letting me get all that."

"Of course," he mumbled. We loaded the groceries into the car and I returned the cart to the front of the store. "I'll swing you over to the school on the way home so you can get your truck."

"Sounds good, " I agreed.

I'd followed Charlie home in my truck and helped him carry the bags into the kitchen, offering to put everything away so that he could watch the last half of a football game on television. My stomach growled, so I left out the bread and some cold cuts, and made two sandwiches after I finished up.

"Your birthday is next weekend, Bella," Charlie informed me as I sat down on the couch across from his recliner, handing him his lunch and a cold beer.

"Yah," I sighed, taking a bite. "I know. Don't remind me."

"Well, what do you wanna do?"

"Nothing," I blurted. "Seriously, don't make a big deal of it. I'm only going to be seventeen, it's not even a special birthday."

Charlie chewed thoughtfully, not taking his eyes off me.

"Fine," he said finally. "You're too much like me, you know that?" I smiled, nodding. "How about I take you to the diner tonight. That way, you can't say I did anything for your birthday, 'cause it's not til next week."

I couldn't help but laugh at his harebrained logic, yet, for the second time that day, I felt overwhelmed by Charlie for going out of his way to be considerate with me. After all these years of only having to take care of himself, I felt like I was a burden to Charlie. But he continued to prove he was glad to have me there, and it was difficult to absorb that. It was difficult to accept being taken care of, and not having it the other way around.

"Sure, dad," I said softly. "That sounds good. I ... I appreciate it."

Charlie just nodded and finished his sandwich. I took his plate, along with mine, to the sink and went upstairs to do some homework.

Charlie and I were seated in a booth towards the back of the diner around seven o'clock that night. It was busy, as usual, but our waitress was on top of it and brought our drinks out before I'd even opened the extensive menu.

"Get whatever you want," Charlie had insisted. "It's _your_ non birthday dinner. Plus they're cheap here." He snickered at his own joke, and I smiled, too, shaking my head.

I finally ordered chicken parmesan, while Charlie chose a bacon burger and home-made fries. The waitress hustled off to put our order in and I sipped my soda patiently, figuring the same awkward silence that settled on Charlie and I at dinner would also apply here. I was wrong.

"So, Bells, have you heard from your mom?"

I swallowed hard and looked down, hoping to ward off any outward expression, sad, angry, or otherwise.

"No," I admitted. "She hasn't called."

"Well maybe she emailed ya," he suggested, taking a long sip of his beer.

"She didn't email me either."

Silence. I began to tear my straw wrapper into tiny pieces, littering my place mat with white confetti.

"I think I have a right to know what happened," Charlie said finally, surprisingly angry. His jaw set and his eyes narrowed as he spoke. "Obviously something happened, that you felt you needed to come here. I didn't want to address it before you showed up, but I think now that you're here, I've got a right to know."

"I...I can go back," I mumbled, caught completely off guard. "I know I'm a burden on you, and I shouldn't have brought this here, to you." I began to stand up, not knowing where I'd go, only knowing I couldn't continue this conversation calmly in public.

"Sit. Down." Charlie growled. I obeyed, slightly terrified. I'd never actually seen Charlie angry before, and I didn't know how to interpret it. My own angst went out the window in favor of respecting the temper of the only parent I currently had on the west coast.

Our waitress returned, placing our plates in front of us along with extra condiments and napkins. I thanked her stiffly and waited for her to leave.

"I'm sorry," I finally said, quietly beginning to cut into my chicken.

"You are not a burden, Isabella," he replied. "That's what made me angry. Just so we're clear. Your mom took you and left me when you were a little girl, and I've barely seen ya maybe ten times since then, up until two weeks ago. Don't you dare tell me you're a burden to me."

I opened my mouth to speak but he held out a hand, and I stopped. He took another sip of his beer and then a bite of his burger before continuing.

"I don't know what happened, and I have a feeling it's something pretty bad. I've got my own ideas of what it might have been. It would have to be bad to make you want to leave Ren – your mother. But in a way, I'm glad. I – I'm glad you're here."

Tears threatened to return once again but I successfully forced them back, focusing on my food. We ate in silence, and I wasn't pressured to speak again until after our plates had been cleared.

"It was bad," I said finally. "It wasn't a good ... it wasn't good at all. I couldn't stay there."

"Do you still like cheesecake?"

I paused, confused. Charlie looked down and began to fidget with his shirt sleeve.

"Yes, why?"

"I'll ordered some earlier, kind of as a surprise," he said, sounding sad. "Go on, keep going."

I took a deep breath, wondering how much I should really tell Charlie about why I came to Forks.

_I've lied to him so many times already_, I chided myself. _The least I can do is tell him the truth about this_.

"It's Renee's boyfriend," I admitted. Charlie bit his bottom lip, still looking down. It occurred to me how alike he and I acted, even though I'd grown up so far from him and seen him so few times throughout the years.

"He hit you, didn't he?" Charlie suddenly looked up, his eyes glistening. It was probably the closest I'd ever see my dad to crying, and I felt like I'd been punched in the gut. The tears were going to get their way any second.

"He hit us both," I whimpered. "He – he drinks. He got her to, to drink. A lot. Like, all the time. She never -" I sobbed into my napkin and stopped to catch my breath. "She didn't drink before him, she never did. And now ... now all the time. And he hit us both, he just, he threw me, and he choked her. So many, _so_ many times."

I didn't notice our waitress return, but she put two plates of cheesecake between us and darted away again, obviously wanting to stay out of whatever was making me cry.

"I tried to talk to her, dad," I sighed. "I tried to tell her to leave him, I told her we didn't need him. I told her I didn't wanna get beat up in our own home anymore. And she took his side! _She took his fucking side_!"

I slammed my fist down on the table, sending my fork flying into the booth behind me.

"I told her I wouldn't stay, and I don't think she believed me," I added. "But I left. I _had_ to leave."

Charlie stayed quiet for a long time. I sat there, my stomach in knots, mashing a spoon into my slice of cheesecake until it was unrecognizable, matted onto the plate. I waited as calmly as I could, finally able to suppress my tears, because I could tell Charlie had something to say and was having trouble getting it out. My mind raced, wondering what it would end up being; would he be angry? Sad? Both? Would he threaten Phil, or Renee for that matter? Would he promise to never make me go back there? Or would he tell me that he regretted divorcing Renee, because none of this would have happened then?

"Let's go home," he said finally. So we did.

When we got back to the house, I went straight up to my room without a word. When I'd decided at the diner to tell Charlie the truth, a part of me knew it was less about being truthful with him and more about getting it off my chest. I'd never told anyone about what Phil had done to us, how he'd ruined everything. I needed someone else to know, someone aside from Renee.

But I didn't feel any better now that Charlie knew. In fact, I felt worse – which I hadn't imagined possible. I sat on my bed with my head in my hands, realizing that fact. _I felt worse_. I was angry and ashamed that I'd cried over my mother, again. I was embarrassed that I'd acted out like that and made the other diners stare. I was angry that I'd upset Charlie, because he was enough like me that I knew he'd internalize what I'd told him, rather than keep the issue on the table. Charlie wouldn't deal with what I'd told him, and he wouldn't help _me_ deal with it. I'd told the wrong person. And on top of all that, without meaning to, he'd lied. I _was_ a burden – I was sure of it. Financially, I was a burden, and emotionally, I was now a burden as well.

Renee called my cell phone that night, but I didn't have it in me to answer. She didn't leave a message.

Returning to school on Monday was a relief, an opportunity to return to normalcy after a miserable weekend.

In math, our teacher had suggested working in groups to study for our first big test, so Jasper and I had partnered up. And, of course, third period history was a treat because of Alice. She'd greeted me with a hug and we'd passed notes throughout class. Lauren had shown for study hall, but I'd ignored her, spending the period talking to the school newspaper supervisor, Mr. Krauss, about ideas for the first issue of the school year. By lunch time, the bad mood I'd held onto since Saturday night had completely dissolved.

Lunch was my favorite part of the school day. I got to see Alice, Rose, and the boys. Edward usually showed up somewhere near the end of the period, and I always wondered, but never asked, what class he was leaving early to join us. That day was no different – Edward sidled into the cafeteria five minutes before the bell rang, his hair soaking wet. He sat in the empty chair beside me and I smelled tobacco on him immediately, scrunching my nose in disgust while he wasn't looking.

I walked behind him to biology this time, at least until a fight broke out on the opposite side of the stairwell we were climbing. Instantly, a crowd formed and I was sucked in, being pushed and shoved to my knees, unable to stand back up and move away because of the mosh-pit mentality. I began to panic after being kicked in the back and neck a few times, wondering if I'd been sucked _into_ the fight. I tried to yell for someone to let me stand, but no one heard me over the screaming and commotion.

Suddenly, I felt myself being raised, from where I wasn't sure. A path was made by an unseen source and I accepted my escape without question. I took the stairs by twos until I reached the second floor, just as the bell rang. On the landing below, I could hear the fight still going on.

"Are you alright?"

I froze, and slowly turned to see Edward behind me. My heart was still pounding from racing up the stairs and away from the crowd, and hearing his velvet voice so close to me was doing nothing to help.

"Yes," I replied weakly. "Was that...you?"

"I got you out of there, yes," he admitted. His right hand came to rest on the small of my back as he led me down the hallway. "Are you alright, though? I saw you getting knocked around before I was able to move those morons away."

"I'm fine," I breathed. "I think I panicked more than anything." He nodded, his hand leaving my back and coming up to my shoulder, then my neck. I felt him gently part my hair, sending warm shivers down my spine.

"You're already bruising right there," he said. "If you want, I can get some ice ..."

"No," I cut him off. "It doesn't hurt, I promise. We're late to class."

Thankfully, Edward took the responsibility of explaining to our teacher why we were late while I slipped past him and took my seat. As I pulled out my homework, I realized I'd never given Edward the worksheet I'd collected for him on Friday. I handed mine in, avoiding making eye contact with him even though he probably never knew we were assigned anything. _It's not my fault he didn't show up_, I reasoned, still feeling guilty.

For the last ten minutes of class, we were allowed to sit quietly and read a short chapter in our text books on cell reproduction – or something. I was unable to process anything I read after Edward passed me a note.

_**You didn't tell me we had homework on Friday**_?

I scribbled back, annoyed, _**You should have shown up then**_!

_**I had somewhere to be**_.

I snorted. _**Smoking in the bathroom again**_?

_**Is that your business**_?

_**No, but it's not my job to keep track of your assignments when you'd rather give yourself cancer. Why do you do that, anyway? It's gross**_.

I practically threw the note back at him then, not intending to respond anymore. Our teacher had glanced at us more than once already, so he must have at least noticed the movement as we passed the notes hastily to each other. I didn't want to get caught.

I saw Edward read my response, pause, write back, and hand it to me again, but beneath the table this time. I reluctantly took it and read it as casually as I could.

_**I know. I'm trying to quit :(**_

_** You should. You smell like cigarettes instead of cologne.**_

_** It's harder than it looks, otherwise I would have already quit. So you like my cologne? **_

Edward watched me read his last note, and I'd just shrugged. I didn't know how to respond to that, but the bell rang less than a minute later so I didn't have to. I folded the note back up and tucked it into my pocket. As I packed away my notebook and text book, Edward slipped past me into the aisle and began to head for the door before stopping dead in his tracks and turning back to face me.

"I hope you feel better," he said in an almost-whisper. "I hope it doesn't bruise too badly."

I smiled, but he turned and left before I even thought to thank him for rescuing me from the crowd.

In bio the next day, just a few minutes into the lecture, another slip of paper appeared in front of me, interrupting my note-taking.

_**Do you want to be a reporter when you grow up**_?

_**No**_, I replied, attempting to keep focused on class. Edward smelled good that day, not a hint of cigarette smoke on him at all. _Maybe he's really trying to quit after all_...

_**What do you want to be, then? Aren't journalists reporters?**_

I waited a few minutes to respond, as our teacher had stopped writing notes on the board and was speaking to us directly. I hid the note in the sleeve of the oversized hoodie I'd worn that day, as the rain had continued and brought with it much colder temperatures.

_**No, not all of them. I want to be an editor. I don't have the personality to be a reporter, I'd get too nervous and ask the wrong questions, or not ask any**_.

Edward snickered as he read my response, then took my lead and pretended to take down notes. _Why the hell is he so interested all of a sudden_? I wondered. I wasn't really complaining – every time he passed me a note, my heart would skip a beat. I'd already decided that only happened because he was so incredibly attractive, and I wasn't used to getting attention from guys. _It's natural to get flustered, right? Any girl would_.

I glanced at him just as he ran a hand through his tousled copper hair, trying to jot down all the notes on the board before they were erased to make room for new ones. I should have been doing the same thing, but it was hard to look away from Edward Cullen. While just about everyone else was bundled up that day due to the unseasonably cold weather, he still wore a light, fitted t-shirt that clung to his midsection, faintly hinting at the muscles beneath. I kept finding myself staring off into space, imagining how it would feel to be the first girl in Forks to be held in those arms.

After the last bell of the day rang, I went to my locker to drop off some books and found Edward waiting there for me.

"Hey, Bella," he greeted me quietly, moving aside as I approached.

"Hi..."

"I forgot to ask you something earlier," he began, his tone changed completely. I nodded for him to continue as I concentrated on opening my locker, hoping I didn't look nearly as nervous as I felt. _How did he even know where my locker was? Alice_?

"Well?"

"What kind of newspaper do you want to work for eventually? I mean, something big, like the New York Times? Or would you rather do a small-town paper like the Peninsula Daily News?"

_He came to find me to ask me __**that**_?

Puzzled by his question and stumped as to my own answer, I just shrugged. He wouldn't take that for an response, though, and waited for me to speak.

"I haven't thought about it," I snapped. I was sure that my cheeks and ears were deep crimson as he took in what I said and seemed to think it over.

"I was just wondering," he murmured. "See you tomorrow, Bella." He turned and disappeared around a corner, leaving me completely confused and in a daze. When Alice suddenly pounced on me from the opposite direction, I nearly jumped into my open locker.

"Whoa, Bella, easy!" she cooed, giggling.

"Sorry, I keep getting caught off-guard today..."

"I noticed. What were you and my brother talking about?"

"I don't even know," I admitted. Judging by the look on her face, she wasn't surprised.

The following day, Edward and I were on our own to use the entire sixth period to complete a lab. As Alice had told me on my second day, I was indeed lucky to have him as a lab partner – in fact, maybe too lucky. It was difficult to absorb the lesson we were supposed to be learning when my partner was filling in all the answers before I could even read the questions.

"Why are you rushing through this? I have to learn it too," I finally protested, once half our lab was filled out. Only fifteen minutes of class time had passed.

"Sorry, habit."

He pushed the lab sheet towards me and I took it, reading over some of the answers he'd filled in, attempting to answer the next few on my own. As I read, I became aware of the fact that he was watching me.

"What? What's the matter?"

"Huh?"

"You're staring at me."

"Yes, I am," he admitted. "You bite your lip when you're thinking. It's not very becoming. Your lip is nearly bleeding."

"Maybe you shouldn't look, then," I snarled, turning in my seat to face forward instead of towards him. "I'm not here to be _becoming_."

"I didn't mean to offend you," he insisted, his tone flat and insincere.

"You didn't," I shot back. "Forget it. Stop staring at me and let me learn the lab."

"Why are you so cranky today?"

"I wasn't until you told me I was being _unbecoming_."

Honestly, I didn't know when or _why_ my mood had changed, but it had been instantaneous. I was genuinely pissed at him, keenly aware that he was the type to push all of my buttons once he discovered them.

"I apologized for that," he growled. I froze, glancing at him from the corner of my eye.

"Fine."

Edward left our table and excused himself to the teacher to use the bathroom, and I boiled, knowing he was trying to aggravate me by making me think he was going to smoke. For some reason, though I didn't really _know_ him at all, I didn't believe he would fall off the wagon just to piss me off. So when he returned a few minutes later, still smelling of cologne and nothing more, I made sure to smile and act as if I'd never gotten angry.

"May I help you with the lab again?" he asked, holding his hand out for the sheet. I complied, and turned to face him once again. We worked for the next few minutes to complete the lab, well ahead of our classmates.

"Keep it here," I whispered when he moved to hand in our sheet. "Otherwise he'll give us more work to do." Edward nodded and we kept our lab out, open on the table, but began to work on things for other classes.

"Why did you move to Forks?" he whispered suddenly, a few minutes later.

"I missed my dad," I answered quickly, feeling disgusted with myself for the amount of lying I'd been doing lately.

"I don't think that's necessarily the entire truth," he challenged quietly. "I get the feeling something happened to make you move. Everyone knows everyone in Forks, and your dad didn't mention your moving to town until just a couple of weeks before school started."

Fire spread across my face and I dropped my head, shocked at how on-point Edward's analysis had been. I'd clearly underestimated the power of gossip in a town like Forks.

"Why are you so interested in me lately?" I countered, knowing how defensive I sounded, but not caring. "All these questions lately, and why? I don't know _anything_ about _you_, except that your sister is wonderful, and that you smoke, and like art, and that all the girls here talk about is how you won't lower yourself to date Forks girls. So why are you so interested in _me_?"

If my reaction had startled him, he didn't show it. We sat there facing each other, neither of us moving a muscle in a thirty-second cold war. Finally, he cocked one eyebrow and exhaled slowly, as if I'd knocked the wind out of him.

"I'm sorry for being so intrusive, Bella," he said, his tone condescending. "I won't ask you any more questions. Please excuse me."

He stood and exited the classroom without asking permission, and our teacher didn't even bat an eye. In fact, it seemed that no one had noticed except me. I considered telling our teacher Edward had skipped out, just to be spiteful, but I kept myself under control until the bell rang. The way he'd spoken to me, that tone he'd used, had me seething, angry over being subtly insulted multiple times over the course of one strange conversation. But something kept me from following him out that door and berating him right in the hallway; _fear_? Fear that if I angered him the way he'd angered me, he would no longer speak to me at all? Was that really something I feared?

It would be a cold day in hell before I'd be more accepting of being spoken down to thank not being spoken to at all. And it _was_ cold that day ...

Apparently, I hadn't been the only one to pretend indifference; despite Edward's intentionally even tone before he'd up and left class, he ignored me for the rest of the week for good measure. Friday, he hadn't even come to school.

"Where's your brother, Alice?" Emmett had asked with a few minutes left of our lunch period. Alice had just shrugged.

"He left before me this morning, I don't know why he isn't here." She didn't seem concerned, and I tried to act uninterested.

"So what's everyone doing this weekend?" Rose changed the subject, and I silently thanked her. Emmett replied that he had practice both days, and I remembered that he played football for the school. I made a mental note to suggest going to some of the games, if it would mean getting to spend time with Alice.

"I'm basically free," Jasper answered next, winking at Alice. She beamed. _Disgustingly cute, those two_.

"What about you, Bella?" Rose asked.

"Not sure," I answered honestly. "My dad took me out last weekend for my bir-"

_Shit, I wasn't going to mention that_. I tried to think of something quickly to add to my sentence, but my mind had already gone blank.

"Your bir...?" Alice pushed. "You don't mean your _birthday_, do you? Is your birthday this weekend?"

"No," I moaned. "No, no, forget it. _**For-get-it**_."

"BELLA!" Alice jumped up and threw her arms around me. "Why would you not tell us that? We should _do_ something!"

"It's fine," I insisted gently, trying to communicate without words how much I loathed having that kind of attention. Birthday parties were just _not_ my thing.

"Come on, we'll do something small. We can all go to my house and just get pizza and hang out."

I paused, considering it. If it was really just going to be a casual hang out, _that_ I could do. I'd wanted to go back to Alice's amazing house since I'd left it.

"No birthday hats or cake?"

"None," she promised. "Pizza and board games and nothing more." Her eyes were shining with hope, waiting for me to give her the go-ahead on her idea. I sighed.

"Fine," I said finally. "Just pizza and board games. Nothing else! No cake or singing or streamers, none of that."

"Yay!" Alice squealed so loudly, people at other tables looked over. "Which day is your birthday, anyway?"

"Sunday. The thirteenth."

"So Saturday night, then," she said, to everyone else this time. "Saturday night, seven o'clock. Just come over, we'll be in the basement." Jasper and Emmett nodded, neither one looking surprised at Alice's hyperactive party-planning skills. It occurred to me that I'd been smiling the entire time – my cheeks hurt.

The bell rang and we all dispersed for our next classes. Alice followed me, though, and grabbed my hand as we headed up the stairs.

"If you don't want to do anything, you can tell me," she offered softly. "I know I get really excited, and not everyone likes birthdays as much as I do. If you don't want to-"

"No," I cut her off, smiling purposefully. "It actually sounds like a lot of fun. Tomorrow night, at seven, then."

"Okay, good!" We hugged quickly and she jetted down the stairs again, while I continued on to biology, where I knew I'd be sitting alone. Not even the thought of seeing Alice in gym later on could dispel my disappointment when I confirmed that Edward was not, in fact, going to mysteriously appear in his seat the way tended to do. I found myself hoping that he would be home Saturday night.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Unequivocally, Irrevocably Smitten

_"Would you look at her / she looks at me / she's got me thinking about her constantly / but she don't know how I feel. / And she carries on without a doubt / I wonder if she's figured out / I'm crazy for this girl."_ - Evan and Jaron

I raided my entire closet twice before settling on an outfit to wear for my birthday get-together. I'd insisted on keeping things low-key, but I knew the girls wouldn't be dressed down, so I was determined to find something casual, yet flattering - and maybe, just maybe, low-cut.

One and a half hours, and dozens of ensembles later, I chose a pair of dark, skinny jeans and a shirt that I'd borrowed from Renee and not given back. It was a white, baby-doll style shirt with a low scoop neck and some embroidered detailing on the bust. I admired my reflection in the bathroom mirror, pleasantly surprised to find that I not only looked good, but felt comfortable. _Maybe I can do this girly thing more often_...

It was only five o'clock; I had well over an hour before I needed to leave the house. I logged into my Facebook several times, double checked that I'd _definitely_ completed all of my homework, and finally set to work straightening my long, thick hair and applying makeup. As I put the finishing touches on my eye makeup – namely, attempting to use eyeliner without poking my own eye out – my phone vibrated in my pocket. I eagerly dropped everything in order to check it.

_**Rose is here! Come over whenever you're ready**_!

I grinned as I read Alice's text, and quickly finished my makeup before replying.

_**Be there soon**_!

I ran down to the kitchen and quickly assembled two ham and cheese sandwiches, leaving them on a plate in the refrigerator for Charlie to have when he came home from work. With one final glance in an old, decorative mirror on the living room wall, I left the house just before six o'clock.

I was so anxious to spend time with the girls before everyone else showed up, I nearly forgot the way to Alice's secluded neighborhood. Admittedly, I sped a bit, and it only took me ten minutes to get there.

The Cullen home was even more outstanding in the daylight. Their sprawling yard was luscious and green, and several perfectly landscaped mini gardens lined the walkway and followed a path around the side of the house. I was relieved not to see any signs of party decorations or favors, as I'd feared Alice would let her enthusiasm get the best of her.

I climbed out of my truck and took another look around, the light scent of fresh flowers invading my nostrils as I neared the front door. I noticed that Alice's car was missing from the driveway. I knocked anyway, and waited. I knocked again. Still nothing.

_Where is she_? I wondered, glancing back, as if maybe her car would suddenly appear where it hadn't just been. I knocked a third time, and frowned in frustration when still no one came to the door. Then I remembered, Alice had said the party would be in the basement.

_ Maybe she can't hear me knocking_.

I cautiously turned the door knob, and the door slipped open silently. I ducked inside and shut the door behind me. There wasn't a soul in sight nor a sound to be heard. My first guess at the location of the basement door was successful – I'd gone right into the kitchen and found it quickly. But when I opened it, ready to burst down the stairs and join my friends, I was startled to find the lights off, and nothing to suggest anyone was down there.

_Maybe they're upstairs in her room_, I reasoned, not finding it difficult to imagine Alice and Rose taking their sweet time getting ready. Feeling guilty now, that I might be in the Cullen's house alone, I quickly backtracked to the stairs and was grateful to hear ... something. I could definitely hear voices, though they were muted.

At the top of the stairs, I realized those voices were coming from Edward's room, though it sounded like television now that I was closer. His bedroom door was open a crack, and I tip-toed past it and down the hall without so much as making the floor creak.

Unfortunately, when I reached Alice's room, I found that empty, too. _Huh_.

I was annoyed now. I stood in the doorway to Alice's bedroom, thinking of what to do next. Honestly, the last place I wanted to try was Edward's room, especially since no one had let me into the house to begin with. However, the only signs of life in the huge home were in that room, and it would have been creepy of me to lurk around without making my presence known.

Reluctantly, I crept back down the hallway and paused in front of Edward's door before very slowly, very carefully, pushing the door open just enough to look in.

My heart lurched as I processed what I saw: Edward was shirtless, wearing just a pair of worn, faded jeans slung low on his hips, no belt. He was standing in front of a small canvas propped up on an oversized easel, several dirty brushes in his left hand, his right wrapped around his muscular abdomen. He looked deep in thought, and slowly he reached his right hand up and ran it through his hair, leaving it more tousled than usual.

I refused to make a noise or even breathe, because I couldn't look away and didn't want to have to. I watched as he pursed his lips before swiping one brush across the canvas this way and that, then stepping back and observing his work. I watched his stomach contract and expand as he breathed, watched the muscles in his arms flex from even the slightest movement. He was standing at a sideways angle to me, and I had a generous view of his broad shoulders and the smooth, pale skin on his back that made him look as if he were carved of stone.

His room was smaller than Alice's, but probably twice as big as my room at Charlie's house. It was oddly shaped, sort of like a lopsided pentagon. Two walls, one slightly wider than the other, were covered floor to ceiling in heavy, dark green drapes. The rest of the walls were painted a very plain khaki color. Off to the right was a generously sized bed, still smaller than Alice's, covered in clothes, several pillows and one very fluffy but very twisted up black comforter. He stood several feet ahead of the foot of his bed, a small television on a desk to his left was blaring the news.

I must have breathed, or maybe I leaned too much against the door frame and caused it to creak. Or maybe Edward just sensed me there, the way I somehow was able to sense when he was nearby. But something caused him to break his focus and look directly at me. He jumped, though his facial expression didn't change.

I, on the other hand, jumped so high I nearly fell over, and yelped for good measure. Before he could say anything or react further to my startling him, I flew down the hall and into Alice's room, slamming the door behind me.

_**Where are you? I'm at your house and you aren't**_!

As I waited for Alice to answer my text, I sat on the edge of her humongous bed and tried to steady my breathing. Part of me wanted to peek into the hallway to see if Edward was looking for me, and part wanted to hide in the closet and pretend I'd never shown up. I felt guilty, not just for letting myself in, but for spying on Edward, as well. I felt like I had interrupted a very personal moment of his, maybe even seen a side of him he preferred no one see. I figured, if he wasn't upset with me, he would have tried to find me already. He would have come and said hello.

_**Sorry! Rose and I ran out to get the pizzas and some snacks. Let yourself in, we'll be there in a few. If the door's locked, Edward will let you in**_!

I scowled, choosing not to admit I'd already taken her advice.

Alice hadn't said how far she and Rose were. As I waited anxiously for the sound of a car pulling up, I finished the tour of Alice's room she'd begun to give on my last visit.

The top of her antique dresser was covered in delicate bottles of perfume, lotions, bottles of nail polish lined up in rainbow order, and framed photos.

One gold frame held a picture of two absolutely beautiful toddlers, one dressed in black pants, a white shirt and a black, velvet vest; the other in a black, velvet dress with a white, satin bow on the front. Each of them had shiny, dark, straight hair and sparkling hazel-green eyes.

_ Twins_.

Alice and Edward looked startlingly alike as children, I noted, wondering how long ago that had changed.

Another frame, this one smaller, held a photo of Alice and Rosalie that looked to be taken several years ago. They each wore stringy, acid-washed denim shorts and oversized tie-dye shirts, rolled up to hip level and tied with matching red scrunchies. Rosalie's blonde hair was nearly white and pulled up into a messy ponytail, but Alice looked like a much younger version of her current self. Judging by the background of the picture, it looked like they'd been photographed at summer camp. I smiled and wondered how things might have turned out if Renee had never left Charlie and taken me to Phoenix.

_ Would I have been friends with Alice all this time? Would I have been in that photo, too_?

The sound of two car doors slamming interrupted my thoughts and, with a quick glance out Alice's glass balcony doors, I confirmed that the girls were finally back. I stepped in front of a full-length mirror, tousling my hair and making sure all the eye makeup I'd applied earlier was still in place, before skipping down the hallway, rushing past Edward's now-closed bedroom door, and hurried downstairs just in time to help Alice and Rose carry in their purchases. They met me with big smiles and, as usual, their excitement was contagious. I was so happy to be hanging out with Alice again, even if she'd thrown me the party she had wanted to, I wouldn't have stayed away.

Alice stayed true to her word and made sure to keep everything very casual that evening. Emmett ate nearly an entire pizza to himself, so Alice had to order two more pies just to ensure there'd be enough for everyone. I'd laughed when Rose had hidden the cupcakes in a linen closet, but clearly, she knew her boyfriend very well.

Alice's basement was perfect for hanging out. It was furnished, with lush, chocolate brown carpeting, several couches, a recliner, a flat-screen television with a DVD player built in, a pool table in one corner and a dart board. Alice had borrowed the satellite radio from the living room and we blasted nineties music while I shot pool against Jasper and Emmett, and Rose and Alice played a game of darts.

Every now and then, we'd stop and congregate around the card table set up beside the largest couch, helping ourselves to pizza, chips and soda.

I enjoyed myself more than I expected I would, reveling in the fact that, for the first time, I had actual _friends_. These were people who didn't intimidate me, who I didn't feel the need to impress one bit. I thought about Renee, wishing she could see me having fun with friends my own age for once; wishing she knew how I missed her, even though I was surviving just fine without her.

As the night went on, however, my fifth wheel status began to become apparent. Jasper and Alice held hands in between turns at pool. Rose and Emmett took a break at one point, collapsing onto the couch together. Rose had quickly ended up on Emmett's lap, and the next time I glanced over, they were making out, shamelessly.

I excused myself to use the bathroom, and escaped up the stairs into the dark kitchen, wondering where Alice's parents were tonight. For that matter, I wondered if Edward was still home, and if he was going to join us.

There was a bathroom on the main floor of the house, but I decided to head for the one upstairs as an excuse to investigate. Edward's door was still closed, but I saw a sliver of light peeking out.

_ Is he still angry from the other day_? I wondered. _Or is he angry that I interrupted him earlier_?

When I thought about the way Edward had spoken to me in class earlier that week, the anger and resentment bubbled up again. I knew I'd angered him, too, and if he was even more upset that I'd walked in on him, I knew he wouldn't be much company.

Yet, there was no denying I wished he'd come down to the basement, if only to even out the numbers. Even if Alice and Rose disappeared with their significant others completely, at least I'd have someone to talk to.

_Nonsense_, I scoffed. Nothing about Rose and Emmett making out shocked me, but I felt pretty certain Alice wasn't that kind of girl. Not in front of company, anyway.

_ Edward would probably be no fun at all if he joined us. I wouldn't even notice him with Alice around. _

_ ...Right_.

I slipped quietly into the bathroom, took care of business, then paused in front of the mirror to, once again, check on my appearance.

I'd been correct to assume Alice and Rose wouldn't be dressed down. Alice had on black leggings with an olive green, tunic length top that draped from one shoulder. Her short hair was pulled into two messy pigtails. Without even a stitch of makeup on her face that I could detect, Alice looked completely flawless.

And Rose gave models everywhere a run for their money in a very short, black cocktail dress that highlighted her long, lean, tanned legs. The dress could have passed for formal if she hadn't paired it with simple flip flops and a pukka shell choker. Her long, blond hair fell in loose waves down her back. Emmett's eyes had narrowed in a lust I now recognized when he'd arrived and seen his girlfriend, and I decided that must happen a lot with those two.

I went back downstairs, through the kitchen, and stopped at the top of the stairs leading to the basement. The music had been turned off and I couldn't hear anyone talking or moving around. I descended the narrow stairwell cautiously, wondering if something had happened.

"Happy birthday, Bella!" Alice chirped as soon as I turned and entered the room. She, along with Rose, Emmett, Jasper, and even Edward, was standing behind the food table, waiting. Instead of chips and pizza, now there was an array of cupcakes, and Alice held one of them out to me, a lit candle in it.

"I told her she couldn't sing," Rose offered. "This is the worst it'll get, Bella. Go ahead – make a wish."

My face was on fire as I stood there, touched at the gesture and startled that Edward had shown up. Even though he joined us, though, he stood behind the others, not smiling.

"Thank you," I murmured, taking the cupcake from Alice. I made my wish and blew out the candle, handing it off to Rose who disposed of it while everyone else helped themselves to a cupcake.

It remained quiet in the basement as we chowed down, making for the first truly awkward moments of my night. Rose was perched on Emmett's lap on one of the couches, and they flirted silently and fed each other their treats. Alice and Jasper had migrated closer to the pool table and I felt my heart sink a little as I watched them flirt in a similar way, Alice smearing a bit of icing on his nose and kissing it off as he put his arm around her and pulled her close. They each wore huge smiles on their faces.

I was leaning against the wall beside the television, staring at the floor because it felt wrong to watch all the tender moments going on around me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Edward shifting uncomfortably from one foot to another, leaning against a wall perpendicular to me in a similar pose. He still held a cupcake he hadn't begun to eat.

At the same time that I looked at him, he looked up, too, and our eyes locked. Purposefully, I smiled weakly – a peace offering, on my part. He didn't smile back, so I looked back down at the floor, wanting, for the first time, to not be there.

"Happy birthday, Bella," Edward said softly, approaching me a moment later.

"Oh ... thank you," I responded.

Silence.

He ran a hand through his hair and left it resting on his neck a moment. He looked stressed.

"I'm...I'm sorry about earlier."

"It's fine," he said quickly, shaking his head.

I wanted him to smile, to tell me he wasn't angry with me. But he didn't. The tension between us was palpable as we endured another awkward, silent moment.

But then I looked up, and our eyes locked again, and I didn't look away, nor did I blush. At some point, he'd gotten closer, and now only stood inches from me – so close, in fact, that I could feel his soft breath on my cheek.

Finally, my heart caught up with what was happening, and I gasped. His eyes darted away, but he continued to stand in such close proximity that I couldn't think, let alone speak.

"Presents!" Alice announced. Edward scowled and backed away from me. My heart sunk, both for the loss of having Edward so near, and because the last thing I wanted was for this get together to become any more about me. _Ugh_.

Reluctantly, I joined Alice on the biggest couch, and Rose, Emmett and Jasper gathered around us. I looked up just in time to see Edward's feet on the stairs, nearly to the top. I knew he wasn't coming back down.

"Okay, me first," Alice said, her enthusiasm evident. She handed me what looked like a small clothing box, wrapped perfectly in metallic pink paper. I took it, but frowned.

"I told you I didn't want this to be a birthday party," I sighed. "Presents are part of a birthday party!"

"Well, consider this my welcome home present then," she argued. "You're back in Forks, where you belong!"

I smiled, but then stopped in the middle of unwrapping my gift.

"How'd you know I lived here before?" I asked, suddenly wishing we were alone. "Gossip?"

Rose cleared her throat and both Alice and I looked up.

"My, uh. My brother, actually," she said, almost whispering. "He mentioned it to me."

I nodded, biting my lip. I didn't want to ask too many questions. Alice impatiently took the discarded wrapping paper from me as I began to open the box now, her huge smile back in place.

Inside was a beautiful journal, the cover of which had an illustration of a lone cactus in a desert, a butterfly perched right on it.

"It reminded me of you," Alice said shyly, waiting for my reaction. I flipped through the empty pages and closed it again, my heart pounding.

"I love it," I said honestly. "It's beautiful. Thank you so much, Alice. It's such a thoughtful gift, and you really didn't have to get me anything. You really didn't."

Jasper looked on with a warm smile as Alice threw her arms around me and squeezed tight. I eagerly hugged her back, once again wishing I could just kiss the flawless girl in my arms that made me feel so special for no reason at all.

I didn't really understand my draw to her, as strong as it was, but it made me feel guilty to think about it while looking at Jasper. I should have known then, the direction my intentions were headed.

Rose handed me a gift, next. It was another box wrapped in the same metallic pink paper, but bigger than Alice's.

"There's two things in there," she warned, a cheeky smirk on her face. "Make sure you open them in order."

I nodded and grinned back, tearing into the paper, then the box. My first gift was carefully rolled in light purple tissue paper: a black satin and lace push up bra. _Wha..._?

"I told you we'd get you over your boob-phobia!" Rose crowed, doubling over in laughter. The guys chuckled, too, and Alice smiled but looked on over my shoulder patiently.

I was laughing now, too, but I didn't know what to say. My embarrassment wasn't nearly what it would have been if Edward hadn't left.

"It's a gag gift, Bella. I'm sorry," Rose said, still giggling. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I _had_ to! Open the next one, now. That's the real gift."

As instructed, I dug through more tissue paper until I found a small envelope, then opened that. Inside was a Visa gift card for $100.

"Oh my God, Rose!" I protested, shaking my head. "Too much, Rose. Too much! I can't accept this!"

"You _will_ accept that," she snorted. I frowned, unsure of whether it would be in my best interest to fight with her. "It's from both me and Alice, if it makes you feel any better. And with it comes a promise – we're both going to take you shopping, so it's for that. No spending it on books or any of that shit. You need some good clothes for Forks. It's not always summer, here!"

"That's true," Emmett interjected. "It gets _cold_ here. Let them have their fun. A hundred's nothing to these spoiled bitches."

Alice and Rose both jumped up and smacked Emmett simultaneously, and he just laughed.

"We're definitely shopping," Alice said decidedly. "So just say thank you, and let that be that!"

My shoulders slumped in defeat, as I was surrounded by smiling faces that weren't going to take 'no' for an answer.

"Fine," I sighed. "But thank you, thank you both _so_ _much_. For the pizza and the cupcakes and these gifts. I don't know what I did to deserve any of it. I've only been here a couple of weeks. But thank you."

Jasper reached out and gave me a hug, and then Emmett held his fist out to bump. Once again, Alice hugged me tightly, followed by Rose.

"Next weekend's going to be _so_ fun," Alice murmured, watching the guys retreat to go play pool.

"Oh yeah," Rose agreed, grinning.

Around one thirty in the morning, long after Emmett and Jasper had left, and the girls and I had cleaned up and gone up to Alice's room to relax, Charlie called my cell phone. He had suggested, but not _told_ me, to come home. I decided to not push my luck, considering he was being so reasonable.

"I hope you had fun, mama," Alice yawned as I hugged her goodbye.

"Definitely, I assured her. "Thank you so much." She squeezed me tighter, and I hesitantly pulled away, hugged Rose, and let myself out.

As I pulled myself into the cab of my truck, I noticed something on the passenger's side seat, and froze. It was dark, but I was positive I hadn't left anything there. I also hadn't locked my truck – who would steal a clunker like mine?

With some effort, I found the switch to the overhead console light. Indeed, the objects in my car weren't mine and hadn't been there before. Propped up against the back of the seat was a notebook-sized canvas painting of a stack of newspapers. In the background was a collection of tiny headlines painted in such a light gray, I had to squint to read them. On the bottom right-hand corner of the canvas, painted in black calligraphy, were the initials 'EC'.

The other object on the seat was an empty, crumpled cigarette box.

Once again, I returned to school on Monday relieved to have made it through another weekend. While Saturday night had been great, and Charlie had lived up to his promise to not make a big deal of my birthday on Sunday, I hadn't heard from Renee yet.

Not hearing from my mother for the better part of a month was one thing, but not even getting so much as a text message for my birthday was quite another. I cried myself to sleep that night, half from disappointment and half in frustration that I couldn't just accept that I wasn't my her priority anymore.

And then there was the mystery of the items I'd found in my car, coupled with Edward's strange behavior before he'd disappeared for the night. Trying to figure _that _out was enough to give me a headache all on its own. Luckily, by lunch I still hadn't seen him, and therefore hadn't needed to think of something to say. I knew my luck was running out, though. He'd be at lunch that day, I felt it.

"So, Bella, how about using that gift card tomorrow, after school?" Alice asked as soon as I sat down at our lunch table. I shrugged, my mind still elsewhere.

"I'll drive again. We can go to Seattle!" Rose added. Alice bounced in her seat as she pulled a planner from her bag and flipped it open.

"Yeah, tomorrow, then," I agreed absently. As casually as I could, I glanced over my shoulder. Just like clock work, Edward walked in the door at that exact moment. My ability to know when he was around was really beginning to freak me out.

This time, he didn't take his time coming over. He walked confidently, his head up, a notebook tucked under one arm. Rose had gone up to buy lunch and he sat down in her seat, directly to my left. The guys nodded at him as they dug into their lunches, and Alice was still busy looking for something in her planner.

"Hello," he murmured, low enough for only me to hear. A flash of goose bumps broke out on my arms, and I crossed them defensively.

"You're early."

"Yeah. I actually just came from guidance. I switched my lunch to this period."

"Oh."

Rose returned to the table, paused when she saw Edward, and sat down beside Emmett, a look of curiosity on her face. She didn't say a word, but even after she began to eat, I sensed that she was watching us closely.

"I can't do it, guys," Alice whined, slamming her planner closed. All five of us looked up at her, and I realized that she looked genuinely upset. "I forgot, I promised Mr. Krauss I'd help organize some assignments for the school paper Tuesday. I'll probably be there a few hours – we wouldn't have time to make it to Seattle and back on a school night."

I reached over and patted her shoulder sympathetically. This was my first time seeing Alice even remotely sad.

"We can go next week, then," I promised her. "It's not a big deal!"

"Yeah," Rose agreed with me. "Though, Bella, if you want to go up to Port Angeles tomorrow, we could maybe do a little shopping, still. We'll just save the big trip for when Alice isn't busy."

"You guys have to _promise_ not to max that card out without me!" Alice warned, her smile slowly returning. "Promise, Rose!"

"I promise," Rosalie answered quickly, crossing her hand over her heart. "We'll just browse the shops. Sound good, Bella?"

"Yeah, sure," I agreed, watching Rose closely. She had a smirk on her face as she looked back and forth between Alice and I.

I'd almost forgotten Edward was less than a foot away from me. He appeared to be looking down, reading a notebook he held on his lap. A few times, however, I noticed him look up at me, a frustrated expression on his face, as if he wanted to say something but couldn't.

A while later, in biology, I was flipping through my notebook, looking for notes to help me fill out a lab, when Edward strolled in late. His face was paler than usual – almost green, actually. When he slipped onto the stool beside me and rested his arms on the table top, I saw that his hands were shaking.

"Are you alright?" I whispered, handing him a second, blank lab sheet.

"I'm not feeling so well," he admitted, looking down. "I should have listened to my sister and used a nicotine patch."

I watched him for a minute or two as he searched through his own notebook uneasily, looking for the answer to the first question on our sheet. His pale lips were dry and cracked, and his nostrils flared as he breathed. It was hard to believe I'd seen him at lunch just half an hour earlier, looking much better.

"Here," I said, offering him my lab sheet. "We're not supposed to really be working together. But ... well, everyone else is talking. I doubt anyone will notice."

Edward smiled gratefully, scooting his seat closer to my own. We worked together quietly for several minutes, using mostly his immaculate notes to figure out our answers. I remembered that I had a new pack of gum in my bag, and I offered him a few pieces to help his withdrawal symptoms. He accepted these eagerly, unwrapping two at once and popping them into his mouth without even asking what flavor they were.

"Did you get my ... my gift?" he asked finally, when we were nearly done with our labs.

"Were those ... did you ... you put those things in my truck?" I countered, caught off guard.

"Yes, I did. You walked in on me painting that, actually..."

"It's fantastic," I told him honestly. "I don't really ... know what to say, actually. I – thank you, for the painting."

"You're welcome," he breathed. Somehow, he'd gotten closer to me, and I'd broken out into nervous goose bumps again.

"You...you left your garbage in there, though," I blurted. "I mean, there was a cigarette box in there. It's no big deal, I threw it out. I mean ... I just ... in case you'd been looking for it..."

My face heated up the more I spoke, stuttering away beneath his intense gaze.

"I left that there on purpose," he said slowly, gauging my reaction. "It was ... a symbol. To prove I've actually quit. I just wanted you to know..."

"Oh."

The bell rang then, and our teacher called for us to hand our labs in as we exited the classroom. Edward and I both began to pack our belongings up, and I glanced up at him and saw a small smile on his face, which didn't at all match the still-sallow color of his skin or the tired look in his eyes.

"See you tomorrow," he said softly, hopping off his stool.

"Thank you," I blurted quickly. "Thank you for both gifts. And I hope you feel better..."

His smile grew and he nodded, not moving as I finished packing up and dropped down from my stool, as well. I wondered if he was waiting to walk me out of class, but he turned and left as I neared the teacher's desk. I entered the busy hallway just in time to see him turn back towards me, smile crookedly, and disappear around a corner.

My heart had been pounding so hard, I felt out of breath as I made my way to health class. I knew that there was no more denying it: I had a crush on Edward Cullen.

It was absolutely pouring on Tuesday, and Edward didn't come to school. At lunch I'd casually asked Alice where he was, and she admitted he'd been up sick all night, still refusing a nicotine patch for some reason.

When the final bell of the day rang, I hugged Alice goodbye outside the gym locker rooms, and met Rose in front of the school. I was more comfortable than ever with Rose now, and I wasn't nervous to hang out with her outside of school anymore – even though I wished Alice could have joined us.

I did, however, feel a certain tension between us as she pulled her Mustang onto the highway towards Port Angeles. Neither of us was talking, and she didn't turn up the music at all.

"You know, I wasn't sure that we'd end up friends when you first started here," Rose said finally.

I looked at her but didn't speak, unsure of how to respond.

"I'd heard that you lived here when you were little, and that your dad's the police chief. Hell, everyone knew that, I think. And I'll be honest with you, Bella. On your first day, when you came over to our table, my first impression was that: one, you're beautiful; two: you were coming to just sit with us without having met any of us before, which was strange; and three: Alice seemed totally attached to your hip that day."

My breathing became shallow as I took all of this in, wondering what Rose was getting at. Was she going to tell me she'd hated me all along? Was she going to say she wanted me to sit somewhere else at lunch from now on?

"Okay?" I mumbled, nervously.

"I ... I don't have many female friends. I'm sure you've noticed."

I nodded.

"And your first day, I was ... rude to you," she went on. "I was preparing myself to be jealous of you, I think. Jealous, maybe, that you're so pretty. That all the boys were staring. Jealous that I know Emmett checked you out, even if it meant nothing. Jealous that Alice was so excited to be friends with you. Maybe all three."

I swallowed hard, my heartbeat sped up with every second that passed.

_ Rose was jealous of __**me**_? _This beautiful, model-like girl that could command the attention of any room, anytime she wanted, was jealous of me_?

I wanted to say something, to argue, and tell her that it was ridiculous. But she continued.

"Don't get me wrong, Bella. I don't suffer from a lack of confidence, believe me. I think I just didn't know what to make of you, at first. But ... I'm glad that we're friends now. I'm glad I stopped myself from writing you off before getting to know you."

"Thanks," I murmured shakily.

We drove in silence for a few minutes, and when I glanced over at Rose, her facial expression was content – relieved, even.

"I heard you tell Lauren and her friends off for me that day in the locker room," I blurted, surprising even myself. I waited for her to get angry, but her expression didn't change. She waited several moments before speaking.

"I don't mind that you heard," she said finally. "I would have done that even if I knew you were listening."

"_Why_?" I asked.

Of course, I'd wanted to know the answer to that question since my second day at Forks. I'd accepted Rose's friendship eagerly, but never understood it, given Alice's warning about Rosalie's disdain for most other girls.

"Because I know how Lauren _is_, the way she can rip away a person's self-esteem. I didn't think – and don't get me wrong, I don't underestimate you, Bella – but I didn't think you'd have stood up for yourself to her. And she and her moron friends were wrong about you. I wanted them to know that."

"What happened with her, that you know about that?" I asked, unsure of whether I was stepping over a line.

"I see a lot of myself in you, Bella. I wasn't always _super _confident. And we're both kind of loners in our own ways. I don't know your whole story, of course. But I guess mine is kind of obvious – girls don't like me. I avoid them, because it's easier than proving myself, and usually they're bitches and not worth it, anyway."

I nodded.

"Lauren ... well, before Emmett and I got together, we liked each other. For a _long_ time. And everyone knew it. And no one ever went after him, because everyone knew he was crazy about me, except me, of course. Well, Lauren waited until we were all drinking at a bonfire one night, and threw herself at him as soon as he was good and bombed. Of course, he kissed her. He probably wasn't even fully conscious. Hell of a hangover he had the next day."

Rose laughed and shook her head before continuing.

"Less than a week later, he asked me out. And Lauren spread a nasty rumor that I'd gone down on him on front of everyone at the bonfire, and that's the reason he asked me out. Everyone knew she was a lying shit, but it still pissed me off that she did it. And then she tried to be _best friends_ with Alice and I, and I finally had it out with her. She's known for a long time now, not to come near me. And she doesn't. And now, she knows that extends to you, as well."

The Welcome to Port Angeles sign flew by as Rose drove us into the quaint little town, and I was relieved that we would be out of the car, soon. Everything that she'd just told me, it was a lot to take in. Unfortunately, she was now looking at me, as if she expected me to respond.

"I appreciate that," I said slowly. "I never did understand why you decided to ... accept me, I guess. Alice told me that you don't like too many girls, and I understand that completely. I didn't have many friends back in Phoenix, but if I did, they _would_ have been guys."

Rose giggled, slapping my thigh playfully.

"My kind of girl!" she sang.

"I don't think Lauren would have any beef with me, though," I admitted. "I have nothing she wants. No hot boyfriend or anything like that."

We came to a stop at a red light and Rosalie turned in her seat to face me, one eyebrow cocked.

"You might have one thing she might wants," she challenged. I bit my lip, waiting for her to finish, but the light turned green and she continued to drive.

"What?" I asked finally.

Ignoring me at first, Rose skillfully maneuvered the car into a parking spot along a busy street lined with lots of little shops, and cut the engine.

"Well..." she began, yanking the keys out of the ignition. "I think I know something."

"What do you know?" I played along.

"One of the Cullens has your eye, am I correct?"

I froze, as did my heart, and maybe the blood in my veins. All at once, the memories of shopping with the girls, undressing in Alice's closet, the way I reacted whenever Alice touched my hand or gave me a hug, everything flooded my mind at once.

_Did she know_? _If she knows, does __**Jasper**__ know_?

When I didn't answer, Rose laughed and was out of the car before I'd even taken off my seat belt. She stood on the sidewalk as I slowly opened the car door. She was laughing, most likely at the look of horror on my face. Whether that look of horror was a result of Rose's question, or the fact that I'd finally admitted to myself that I didn't just have a crush on _one_ of the Cullens, I wasn't sure.

"I knew it!" Rose squealed once I'd begun to walk towards the shops with her. "Don't worry, just about every girl in Forks likes Edward. You won't stand out, and I won't say anything unless you want me to."

"No," I shook my head, staring into space. "Don't say anything."

I was never a big shopper, but my trip to Port Angeles with Rosalie was possibly the least productive of any I'd ever been on. My head was spinning from our conversation during the car ride, and if I'd been quizzed on what shops we visited, I would have failed miserably.

The only purchase I made was from a Victoria's Secret store inside a mini-mall. Rose had insisted on me buying myself a 'cute' pajama set for our upcoming sleepover, explaining that she and Alice would be wearing similar things, and that I'd have fun being 'girly' with them.

I'd bluntly vetoed several pajama sets that looked more like underwear than anything else, even when Rose had made my face go crimson when she suggested how great my ass would look in booty shorts.

Finally, I settled on a pair of pink short shorts with white and orange polka dots, and a tight, matching tank top. I'd tried them on to appease Rose, and while, on my own, I would have never bought them, she'd forced me to admit that I looked good 'showing some skin'. They were on sale, and I paid for them quickly so that we could leave, as I felt completely out of place surrounded by the slinky, sexy lingerie I'd never need to buy.

That night, I checked my Facebook right before I went to bed. I had a friend request from Edward Cullen. Of course, I accepted, and clicked onto his page immediately.

His wall was blank, and none of his information was filled out. I realized that his page was new, and I was his first, and so far, only, friend. As I was about to close my laptop for the night, I received a notification.

_Edward Cullen wrote on your wall_: **Hi :) Sleep well.**

**Author's Note:**

_**Well, you wanted more Edward, and you got more! A little more, anyway ;) It's early yet, my loves. **_

**_What do you guys think about Rose? I can honestly say that I didn't plan that aspect of this chapter out ahead of time. Rose always gets her way, though!_**

**_Review review review! :)  
_**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Unruly Part I

_"I've been reckless, but I'm not a rebel without a cause." _- Angelina Jolie

The first half of the school day on Wednesday seemed to drag on, since I couldn't _wait_ to go to the school paper staff meeting with Alice. I watched the clocks impatiently in each of my classes, hardly paying attention to anything else. Even in history, with Alice sitting at the desk right next to me, I wasn't satisfied. I wanted to talk to her and I felt antsy and uncomfortable being that close and not being able to. It was like being addicted - I half liked it and half didn't.

I practically raced to the cafeteria when the bell rang after fourth period, beating everyone else to the lunch table. The first person to join me was Edward.

"Hey," I mumbled as he sat down to my left, as he had the day before.

He nodded, placing two notebooks and a text book in front of him on the table. He wore a navy blue t-shirt beneath a dark gray hoodie and dark jeans. While he no longer looked physically ill, I sensed that he wasn't in the best of moods.

Emmett and Jasper joined us a moment later, each of them greeting Edward but quickly backing off after seeing the look on his face. Once Rosalie and Alice showed up and greeted him as well, Edward crossed his arms, rested them on top of his books, and put his head down in them with his hood drawn.

"Why is your brother quitting smoking all of a sudden?" I asked Alice as we exited the locker room after gym later that day. "I mean ... he seems pretty miserable."

She nodded and softly bit her lower lip, like I sometimes did.

"I really don't know," she admitted. "That's one thing he never really talked about with me, because he knew I was furious when he took up the habit."

"I see..." I murmured.

We climbed two staircases silently, emerging right outside the library. Alice stopped to drink from a water fountain.

"Did Edward say anything to you about it? About quitting?" Alice asked me suddenly, a perplexed look on her face.

"No – he, he hasn't mentioned anything. Other than, that he _is _quitting and feels sick."

"Oh," she sighed. "I feel left out about it. I mean, I'm _glad_ he's quitting. Don't get me wrong. But it was pretty sudden, and I just feel like ... like whatever made him want to quit had to be something _big_. Because he always took that habit and kind of rubbed it in mine and my parents' faces. Not that he's bad, you know. He's not some huge rebel. But I secretly think it was his way of saying that he and I aren't exactly alike. It was his _thing_."

Alice and I unloaded pens, pads, and clippings of past school paper articles from a large shopping bag she'd been carrying, and spread them out on a large table in the back of the library. I looked up at her, wondering if it was bothering her to talk about her brother. My nerves were on end from my desire to keep asking questions, but I didn't want to bore her. In the end, I kept my mouth shut and tried to focus on helping her set up for the meeting.

It was nearly five o'clock by the time the last staff member left the library with his assignment, leaving Alice and I to clean up our materials. The meeting had gone well; three more people had shown up that hadn't come the week before. I'd noticed Alice looking to me for my input on assignment ideas, and had referred a few questions from an enthusiastic freshman to me. I couldn't prove it yet, but I suspected she'd made a very conscious decision to make me her assistant in running the paper.

My first assignment was easy; I had to interview one of the seniors from the football team, in honor of the beginning of the season. Alice had conveniently mentioned that Emmett had never been interviewed before.

"I know you don't know many people yet, so I figured you'd like that," she'd whispered once Mr. Krauss had gone home.

My heart sank slowly as Alice and I left the library and walked down the hallway, in no rush at all to leave each other's company. The meeting had been great – we laughed and chatted as we worked, and I'd gotten to show off a little bit, too. Alice had positively glowed when I eagerly offered to copy-write most of the articles, since no one on last year's staff had wanted the job.

"Hey, Bella, I just thought of something," Alice began as we exited the school and headed for the parking lot. "You've still never met my parents. Why don't you come by for a little while?"

My heart sped up, the adrenaline rush amplified by the hopeful look on Alice's face and the way her eyes glistened when she got excited. I didn't look down, but I felt her grab my hand, as if she, too, felt the same giddy feeling I did.

"Yeah!" I replied, well aware of how overly enthusiastic I sounded. "That sounds great!"

"Yesssss," Alice purred, whipping her keys out of her bag. We parted ways, as we'd parked on different ends of the lot. I nearly stopped in order to watch her walk; the little pep in her step was more pronounced than usual.

When we arrived at the Cullens' house, I immediately told Alice I couldn't stay for long. On the ride over, I remembered that I'd wanted to try out a recipe for Charlie's dinner.

"No problem," Alice had chirped, throwing an arm around my shoulder. "You'll be here all day on Sunday!"

I nodded and grinned as we entered her beautiful home.

Right away, the aroma of something delicious attacked my senses. Alice dropped her bag on the floor just inside the front door and grabbed my hand as she led me inside.

"Mom! Dad! You guys home?" she called, probably without cause. I couldn't imagine Edward cooking anything that smelled so good, especially not in the mood he'd been in that day.

_Edward_. I'd almost forgotten that he lived there, too. Alice had a way of capturing all of my attention when we were together.

"In here!" a pleasant voice called from the kitchen.

Standing in front of the humongous, stainless steel stove was a petite woman with long, shiny, light brown hair that cascaded around her shoulders in soft waves. She wore a rose colored silk blouse and a black pencil skirt..

"Mom, I want you to meet Bella!" Alice said.

The woman stopped stirring a large, steaming pot and turned, and I felt my face go hot, the way it almost always did when I met someone new. Mrs. Cullen's eyes were, as I'd imagined, green, but not as bright as her children's. Her smile was an exact replica of Alice's though. She quickly approached me and gave me a hug.

"It's so nice to finally meet you, Bella!" she said.

"Likewise, Mrs. Cullen."

"Call me Esme, sweetie," she gently insisted, her smile growing even wider. "I've heard a lot about you from this one!"

"Oh yeah?" I asked, grinning at Alice when Esme turned her attention back to the stove. I saw that she was stirring pasta sauce.

"Alice is very excited to have you around," Esme said. "And from what I hear, you even cracked Rosalie. Anyone Rose likes is just fine in my book."

I laughed, shaking my head.

_ Rose really has made a reputation for herself_...

"This must be Bella," a male voice said suddenly. I'd been watching Alice casually unbuttoning her cardigan, but my eyes shot up to the entrance to the kitchen where a tall, incredibly handsome man now stood.

"Dad!" Alice squealed, running to him and practically jumping into his embrace. He had a warm smile, which he directed at me once he was done greeting his daughter.

"Hello, Mr. Cullen," I said shyly, offering my hand first. He came closer and shook it heartily.

"You can call me Carlisle," he said. "I had a feeling Alice would bring you around this week. She's mentioned you so many times since school began!"

Alice's cheeks slowly turned pink and she stood beside her father awkwardly, hands clasped behind her back and a very small smirk on her face.

"Will you stay for dinner, Bella? We're having spaghetti and meatballs. Well, if my son ever comes down and finishes helping me make them."

Intuitively, I glanced past the kitchen door and into the living room, where the bottom of the stairs was just barely visible. Edward did not appear.

_That's a first_...

"Bella has to go home tonight," Alice replied for me. "But Sunday! She'll be here all day Sunday, right Bella?"

"Absolutely," I agreed, rocking back on my heels. "Congratulations, by the way. On your anniversary."

"Thank you," Carlisle said. "I'm glad you'll be joining us. Alice managed to convince us to cater lunch for that day, and I'm not-so-secretly concerned there won't be enough of us to eat it all."

Alice mockingly grinned at her father, then straightened up quickly and linked her arm with mine.

"We'll make sure it gets eaten," she said as seriously as she could.

"I'm sure if Emmett is here, you'll be fine," I added. Esme laughed, and it reminded me of Alice's laugh.

A short time later, I decided to get home so I could begin making dinner for Charlie. Alice walked me to my truck and gave me a long, tight hug goodbye.

"Today was a lot of fun, Bella," she murmured so close to my ear that it gave me a shiver. "The paper is going to _rule_ because of you this year!"

"It's fun," I said, laughing lightly. I didn't want to say much else, for fear of breaking off the hug any sooner than I had to. I dreamily noted that Alice fit in my arms perfectly, as if we were two halves of a whole. Yin and Yang.

_No_, I corrected myself, _Edward is her other half, literally. _

Slowly, Alice pulled out of our hug but continued to stand close, leaning in towards me with one arm lazily slung over my shoulder. She eyed me, and my cheeks grew hot instantly, spreading to my ears.

"You're _ridiculously _pretty, Bella. I wanted to tell you that before, but I always feel like you'll try to argue with me about it. But you really are."

I struggled to breathe and I couldn't think of a response, as all of my energy was currently being used to restrain myself from lowering my lips to hers.

"Good," she said after a moment, a sweet, crooked smile _very_ similar to her brother's appearing on her face. "You didn't argue. I'll talk to you later, mama."

"Yeah," I managed to say. "I'll ... Facebook ... you."

Alice gave me one last squeeze and trotted back up the walkway to her front door. I watched her walk away until she disappeared inside. I didn't even try to drive away until my heart rate slowed.

_That girl is going to be the end of me_.

When I got home from school on Friday, Charlie was already off work. Curious, I dropped my bag onto the kitchen table and easily found him in his recliner, watching ESPN.

"Home already, Dad?"

"Hey, Bells. Yep, I'll be working overtime all weekend, so I let myself out a little early today," he replied, not looking up from his program.

"Why overtime? Something big going on?" I asked, noticing a rifle propped up in the corner behind his chair.

"Wolves," he said. "Well, that's what we think. Some people say bears. Some say wolves. Whatever they are, they're huge, and we've gotten a bunch of calls the past few days from people who've seen 'em. And there are two people missing so far, both of 'em live near the woods. We'll be out all weekend 'til we find 'em."

"Sounds dangerous. Why haven't I heard about this already?"

"We're trying to keep a low profile about it," he said, finally looking up at me. "Last thing we need is for some moron teenagers to go wandering out there, trying to find an adventure, and getting themselves killed."

I nodded and turned to leave, but stopped myself.

"Oh, Dad, I forgot to tell you. The Cullens are renewing their vows this weekend, and they invited me."

"Oh yeah?" he mumbled, visibly uninterested.

"Yeah. And Alice invited me to sleep over tomorrow night, after the party. Is that alright?"

"Dr. Cullen's girl? Yeah, I guess that's alright. Who else will be there?"

"Just Alice and Rose," I replied.

Charlie paused, and then looked up for the second time during our conversation.

"Is Rose the blonde that goes out with that football player?" he asked.

"Yep."

He bit his lower lip thoughtfully and I felt myself tensing up.

_If he already said yes, what is he thinking about_?

"I don't know, Bella. I think you'd better stay home, then."

"What? _Why_?"

"Emmett, right? McCarty? That's the boyfriend?" he asked. I nodded. "We caught him just the other night, trying to buy beer from the gas station on the edge of town. His buddy was in the car waiting for him - the quiet, blonde one. Whitlock, I think his name is. We let 'em off, but I'll be damned if I'm letting you hang out with those kids if they're trying to buy beer. Nah, you'd better not go."

I began to panic. A strange and unexpected wave of anger flooded my mind, causing me to ball my hands into fists, my knuckles fading white.

"Emmett has _nothing _to do with our sleepover, Charlie! He won't be there! It's just the girls! And Rose doesn't have beer. We don't drink beer. There won't _be_ beer there!"

"My answer is _no_, Bella. Drop it now."

I bit my lip so hard, I tasted blood almost immediately.

"Charlie! This isn't fair! You're going to take something stupid someone else did and punish me for it? I've never had a drink in my life!" I lied.

"Isabella, _drop_ it! And I am your _father_, so you will _not_ call me Charlie, you will call me dad. _You got it_?"

"No!" I stamped my foot like a child, and then proceeded to slam my fist into the wall beside me. An old, faded photograph of Charlie's parents dropped and the glass shattered out of the frame, flying every which way across the wooden floor.

Charlie jumped to his feet, dropping the television remote, which also broke upon impact with the floor.

"You are _grounded_, kid!"

Charlie's eyes looked as if they might pop out of his head and his nostrils flared as he yelled.

"If I'm not allowed to go to Alice's tomorrow night, then I may as well be!" I countered. "It's not like I _do _anything else!"

"_Grounded_!" he repeated. "I'm taking your truck this weekend and leaving the cruiser at the station. You're to stay _in this house_ until school on Monday. Am I clear?"

I turned and ran through the kitchen, up the stairs and into my room, slamming the door behind me.

And then the tears came.

I tried to skip dinner that night because I wanted to avoid Charlie. At some point, he must have ordered a pizza, because he eventually brought me up a slice and a glass of soda. He offered these to me wordlessly, then disappeared down the stairs again. I powered up my laptop after I ate and immediately logged onto Facebook.

I had three new notifications.

The first was from Edward.

_**Hi :) If you have a camera, bring it tomorrow. Alice says I need a picture on my profile. I don't trust her to take a good one.**_

I grinned stiffly, as my cheeks were still puffy from crying. The next message was from Rose.

_**Tomorrow night, babygirl ;) Remember to pack **__**everything**__**!**_

My heart sunk. Reluctantly, I clicked the third message, which was from Alice.

_**Bella, I can't WAIT until tomorrow night! 3 you chick!**_

I wondered how I was going to tell her I couldn't come.

I_ should call her_, I reasoned. _It would be rude to do it over the computer_.

I stared at my phone, resting on the desktop close by. I stared for a long time, but didn't call Alice. I was afraid I'd start crying on the phone with her. Just the thought of it made me cringe.

A new notification appeared on the computer screen. This time, it was an instant message from Rosalie Hale.

_**Rosalie: Bella! Are you amped for tmw?**_

_** Bella: I can't go :(**_

_** Rosalie: WHY NOT?**_

_** Bella: My dad grounded me. He was the one who busted Emmett for trying to buy beer.**_

_** Rosalie: WHAT?**_

_** Bella: You didn't know?**_

_** Rosalie: No! I'll kill that stupid fucker! What does he have 2 do with us?**_

_** Bella: My dad knows you date. Apparently, this turn of events makes you evil and forbidden.**_

_** Rosalie: Dude. This sucks. Is he keeping you on house arrest?**_

_** Bella: He's gone all weekend, tracking some kinda wolf. He's taking my truck though :( **_

_** Rosalie: ... he's not even gonna be there?**_

_** Bella: Nope.**_

_** Rosalie: soooo ... why aren't you coming again?**_

A lump formed in my throat and I swallowed hard, trying to clear it. I already knew what Rose was going to suggest, and I wasn't going to like it.

I couldn't defy Charlie, the police chief. Maybe he wasn't the best, most practiced father, but he was a terrific cop. I knew he'd find out if I snuck out. And if I failed to do so, Rosalie would probably brand me a wuss. I wasn't going to come out of this a winner.

_**Bella: I can't...**_

_** Rosalie: I'll pick you up as soon as he leaves! We'll get you back early on Sunday morning I PROMISE! He won't know!**_

_** Bella: You know he'll find out. He's a cop.**_

_** Rosalie: If he's in the woods, he can't be here watching you! How is he gonna know? If he's gone all weekend I doubt he'll be home early on Sunday morning.**_

_** Bella: Still...**_

_** Rosalie: I promise I won't get you in trouble, Bella.**_

_** Bella: ... **_

_** Rosalie: Edward will be disappointed ... ;)**_

_** Bella: ROSE!**_

_** Rosalie: I'm not above bribery, blackmail or baiting.**_

_** Bella: I'll think about it. **_

_** Rosalie: Bella ...**_

_** Bella: UGH FINE! I'll text you as soon as he leaves tomorrow morning.**_

_** Rosalie: HELL YEAH THATS MY GIRLLLLLLL!**_

I signed off after that.

_No wonder Rose doesn't like girls. She's too good at getting her own way. Every. Single. Time._

The alarm on my phone went off at seven o'clock the next morning. I'd shoved my phone beneath my pillow the night before to muffle the sound so that Charlie wouldn't hear. I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, until I heard the front door slam shut. Moments later, my truck roared to life, the sound fading as Charlie drove it away. I stood at the window overlooking the driveway for a good five minutes to make sure he was really gone before taking a shower. After I finished drying off and getting dressed, I texted Rose.

She showed up within minutes and I ran out to her car quickly, just in case Charlie had asked any of our neighbors to keep an eye out for me.

"Did you pack your new pajamas?" Rose asked me before she even said hello.

"Yeah..." I mumbled, watching uneasily as the houses and mailboxes flew by. Charlie had been gone for over an hour, but I was still nervous about getting caught somehow.

"Chill out, Bella. I promised I wouldn't get you in trouble."

I just nodded.

When we arrived at Alice's, she and her parents were just sitting down to breakfast. Rose and I joined them, helping ourselves to eggs, bacon, and sausage.

"The ceremony will actually be _here_," Alice explained as we ate. "At the very last minute, we lost the hall we'd rented. Apparently, they double booked. Idiots."

"It's fine. I told you," Esme said to her. "We have plenty of room in here and in the yard."

Alice stuck her lower lip out, pouting, before taking another piece of bacon from the platter in the middle of the table.

"Alice is a perfectionist," Esme said to Rose and me, smirking. "To a fault."

"Am not," Alice murmured. I watched her staring blankly at the table as she chewed her bacon. It was obvious she hadn't been awake long; her hair was tangled and messy, and she was clad only in a pair of boxer shorts that were too loose on her, and an oversized t-shirt. Even in such a state, she was adorable.

"Oh, look who's finally going to join us," Carlisle said, raising his voice noticeably and smiling. All five of us turned to see Edward standing in the doorway to the kitchen, rubbing his eyes.

My breathing became shallow as I took in the sight of him, standing slouched before us wearing only plaid, flannel pajama pants and a wifebeater. His hair, which was usually tousled, was a total mess. _He_ was a mess. And yet, my whole body tensed up in reaction to seeing the lean, muscular figure of this beautiful boy, whose sleepy eyes were focused on me.

I realized, suddenly, that the only open chair at the table was beside me. Without a word, Edward took it, his bare arm brushing mine as he loaded up an empty plate with what was left of breakfast.

"How you feeling?" Esme asked him, rubbing his back. I assumed she was referring to his nicotine withdrawal.

"Better," he replied hoarsely in between bites of food.

A few minutes later, Esme began to clear the table. Carlisle offered to help her wash the dishes, and Alice escaped upstairs to shower while Rose had offered to iron Alice and Esme's skirts. That left two people at the table – Edward and myself.

"Did you bring your camera?" he asked me once everyone had dispersed.

"I don't own one," I admitted, glancing at him for the first time since he'd sat down. That close to him, I could see the bags under his eyes that were so much more pronounced having just woken up. His skin, even his lips, looked dry, and even paler than usual.

"Damn," he sighed, draining his glass of orange juice. He slid off his chair, taking his plate and glass to the sink.

"I'll see if I can use Alice's for a while," I said, hoping to stall him from leaving the kitchen. "If I ask nicely, I'm sure she'll let me. And not delete anything I take."

Edward grinned crookedly and nodded his head in the direction of the living room. My heart lurched and I eagerly followed as he led me to the couch. He flopped onto one end, and I carefully lowered myself onto the other.

"So, you're sleeping here tonight?" he asked. I nodded, wincing when I bit my lip where I'd made myself bleed the night before. "Are you guys..."

"What?" I asked, not picking up on what he was trying to ask.

"Drinking?" he whispered, leaning closer to me.

I shrugged, some of the panic returning as I thought of being caught by Charlie again.

"I'm actually grounded," I admitted in a whisper. "Rose snuck me out, since my dad is gone all weekend. He took my truck."

"You snuck out on the police chief? I think I'm a little proud."

My cheeks caught fire and I bowed my head in a feeble attempt to hide my bashful grin.

"I just hope he doesn't come home early," I said. "I'd be dead meat."

"He won't," Edward murmured, running a hand through his crazed mop of copper hair. "Just get home early tomorrow."

I nodded.

Before another word was said, Alice appeared at the top of the stairs in nothing but two towels – one wrapped around her head, turban style, and the other wrapped lazily around her body.

"Bella, come on! We're getting ready!"

Rose joined her, a smirk quickly forming on her face at the sight of Edward and me together.

I didn't want to leave Edward, but I didn't have much of a choice. He realized it too, and smiled shyly, waving me away. I trotted up the stairs and joined the girls in Alice's room.

I'd been putting more thought into my appearance since moving to Forks, but nothing prepared me for the process of getting ready that morning.

Alice and Rosalie spent nearly two full hours blow-drying my hair, straightening it, and then curling it, which made absolutely no sense to me.

Then, while Alice got herself ready, Rose sat me in a chair on Alice's balcony and did my makeup. She worked quickly and expertly, applying eyeshadow, eyeliner, mascara, powder, blush, and lipstick.

Then, Rose decided that it was too humid outside and took me back into the bathroom to re-curl my hair. She emptied what seemed to be half a can of hairspray on me, in an effort to seal in the style.

Lastly, minutes before guests were set to arrive at the house, we got dressed.

"Bella, just so you know, there will be boobies in about two seconds," Rose teased as we peeled off our sweatpants, t-shirts and pajamas, and stepped into our dresses and skirts. I'd worn the bra Rose had given me as a gag gift for my birthday, which had miraculously fit, despite never having told her my size. Apparently, it was a push-up bra; the cleavage I had once I was zipped up in my borrowed dress definitely hadn't been there when I first tried it on.

Alice had curled her shiny, dark hair, and wore a thin, pink headband with a bow on it to match her silk blouse and flowery skirt. I watched as she put on jewelry that had been laid out on her dresser.

_I didn't think it was possible for her to look prettier than usual, but she does_, I told myself. _She's flawless._

After passing on the blue dress at the mall in Seattle, Rose had settled on a dark red, sleeveless wrap top that fit her like a second skin, and a pair of black dress pants. She'd decided last minute that the outfit was too plain, and bought a pair of sky-high, dark red stiletto heels that looked more expensive than my truck.

"Bella, you're wearing my black heels, right?" Alice asked, disappearing into her walk-in closet and returning with a pair of black, peep-toe pumps.

"Sure, I guess," I replied, not bothering to hide my hesitation.

"You can kick them off right after the ceremony," Rose added, running a hand through her long, pin straight hair.

I carefully stepped into the shoes, and Alice lent herself to me for balance as I did so. When I was done, she put her hands on my shoulders, looking me over.

"You look fucking _amazing_, Bella," she said softly, so that even Rose hadn't heard. I felt myself blush and before I could thank her, she leaned in, intending to kiss my cheek. I moved, unaware of her plan, and her kiss landed on my neck, right below my ear.

I gasped, instantly feeling a warm sensation in my belly and below. I pressed my thighs together instinctively.

She looked startled too, and blushed brighter than I'd ever seen her. All the while, Rose stood in front of a full-length mirror, unaware.

Thankfully, a knock sounded on Alice's door. Carlisle was letting us know that Emmett and Jasper had arrived, as well as a few of Alice's family members. She skipped out of the room excitedly and followed her father downstairs to greet their guests.

"Here goes nothin'," Rose smirked at me, grabbing my hand. I stopped in front of the mirror, since I hadn't had a chance to see the entire ensemble put together yet.

"Wow," I murmured, turning my head to admire my hair and my outfit as well. I hardly recognized my reflection – in a good way.

"You look fucking hot," Rose said, still grinning. "Let's go."

It wasn't until halfway through the reception that Rose, Emmett, Jasper and I got Alice back into our company. I'd been watching her, flitting between her parents and several groups of relatives congregating in the yard and in the living room, an expert at mingling. She'd taken so many pictures Carlisle had asked her to take a break before her powerful flash made everyone blind.

Edward was more reserved, spending most of his time in the kitchen talking to a male cousin. He wore black dress pants and a dark green dress shirt with no tie. He looked incredibly handsome, but every time I tried to look at him, our eyes met and I would look away or pretend to be talking to Rose. She seemed to know exactly what I was doing, so she didn't question me.

Twice, I'd managed to borrow Alice's expensive digital camera and took a few random pictures of Alice, her parents, Rose standing with the boys, and one of Edward. I'd noticed him, soon after the ceremony, standing alone beside a tree, staring into space. I'd worked the zoom on the camera and got the shot quickly. I spent the next five minutes admiring it on the LCD screen before handing the camera back off to Alice.

Around three o'clock the Cullens' guests began to leave, and Esme and Carlisle disappeared upstairs to gather their luggage. Emmett and Jasper had offered to drive them to the airport, which was in the same town as a football scrimmage they were going to later that day.

By four o'clock, Alice, Rosalie, Edward and I were standing on the doorstep, waving goodbye as the car pulled away and disappeared down the road.

"Party!" Rose screamed suddenly, turning and bolting inside the house. Alice matched her scream, in a higher pitch, and followed suit.

I, on the other hand, had very little energy left after managing to walk around in heels and a dress all afternoon, subsisting off very little besides diet soda, cheese and crackers. I followed Edward into the house at a much more reasonable pace, kicking the heels off as I went.

"We're not drinking yet, are we?" I asked, watching Alice and Rose raid the refrigerator from a distance.

"We don't have to," Alice murmured, pulling out a tray of cold cuts. "I'm hungry, though."

"Starving," Rose agreed, stuffing a slice of deli ham in her mouth.

We set to work making sandwiches out of the party's leftovers. Alice and Rose took theirs outside and sat at the table on the back patio. I knew that once I ate I would need a nap, and I began to feel the exhaustion seep in. I collapsed into a chair at the kitchen table and took a bite of my ham and cheese sandwich.

"Mind if I join you?"

I looked up lazily to see Edward, who had taken off his shirt at some point, leaving only his dress pants and a wifebeater.

"Sure," I agreed, my hunger subsiding at the sight of him.

"You look absolutely exhausted," he said, sliding into the chair beside mine. He looked tired, too.

"I am," I sighed. "I might need a catnap after this."

He nodded, and we ate in silence.

A few minutes later, Rose and Alice came back inside, disposed of their plates, and Rose announced they were going upstairs to watch television for a while. She winked at me before taking Alice's hand and leading her away, leaving me with Edward.

_**That's**__ not obvious... _I thought sourly, nearly shaking my head._ Don't do me any more favors, Rose..._

"I guess I'll see if there are any movies on," Edward said finally, after we sat in awkward silence, staring at our empty plates.

"Okay..."

I cleaned up and joined him in the living room. Edward sat on the far end of the couch, clicking through television channels mindlessly.

"Do you care what we watch?" he asked. I shook my head, taking the seat at the opposite end of the couch, as I had earlier that day.

Finally, he put the remote control down when he found _Forrest Gump_ playing on a movie channel. We watched quietly, and after a while I got more comfortable, pulling my legs up under me and leaning back into the plush, leather cushions.

It wasn't long before I fell asleep.


	7. Chapter 6 Part II

Chapter 6: Unruly Pt. II

_"Oh, I'm overdue / gimme some room / I'm comin' through / paid my dues / in the mood / me and the girls gonna shake the room."_ - Christina Aguilera, _Dirrty_

I awoke with a start, panicking momentarily when I couldn't remember where I was or why I wore a dress. It was dark, I was cold, and it took me a full minute to realize that just a few feet away, Edward Cullen was slumped in his seat on the couch, fast asleep.

Once my eyes adjusted to the dark, I slowly stood, peeling myself off the couch. I stretched slowly and watched as Edward's broad chest rose and fell with his breathing. With the little bit of light trickling into the room from a dim stove light in the kitchen, I could see the reddish color of his messy hair. It looked so soft, and I found myself wanting to run my hands through it the way he always did.

A digital clock on the mantle informed me that it was almost eight o'clock; I'd been asleep for nearly four hours. The television wasn't on anymore, and I wondered who had turned it off if Edward was asleep.

I wanted nothing more at that moment than to just sit there with him while he slept, but I desperately needed to use the bathroom. As carefully as possible, I tiptoed to the other side of the room and felt along the wall until I found what I thought was the bathroom door knob. However, when I turned it, I knocked a knick knack off a small table, and the sound of it hitting the floor echoed throughout the quiet house.

Behind me, I heard a snort, and I turned in time to see Edward stiffly stand, his eyes still half closed.

"We fell asleep," I whispered, as if this was news.

"You looking for the bathroom?" he asked after a long yawn. I nodded, and bent to pick up the object I'd knocked over.

"I wasn't close, was I?"

"No," he said, laughter in his voice. He made his way closer to me and I could see his face clearly.

His crooked smile, I'd already decided, was a very good thing. His crooked smile, coupled with the fact that we were alone, in a dark living room, after falling asleep on the couch together ... well that was enough to give me a heart attack.

He was so close that if I reached my arm out just a bit, I could have wrapped it around him. I concentrated on breathing and for the first time since I'd been awake, I remembered that Alice was still upstairs.

"Actually, the plumbing in the bathroom down here has been questionable lately. You should use the one upstairs."

I nodded and let him lead the way towards the staircase. I gripped the railing firmly as I climbed, still feeling a bit stiff and groggy. At the top, Edward went into his bedroom and shut the door behind him. I realized that if he hadn't, I probably would have followed him in there, too.

_Get with it, Bella_...

Alice and Rose had both fallen asleep, as well.

I walked into Alice's room just as Rose was heading to the bathroom to take a shower, looking half asleep, still. Alice was slower to wake up and offered to shower last.

I took my turn after Rose, glad to wash all the hairspray out of my hair and the makeup off my face. Rose said she'd be in the kitchen making jungle juice while Alice and I washed up.

After my shower, I dressed awkwardly, wondering if I should wear the fancy bra that Rose had bought me beneath my tight tank top. Even though the bra fit me, over the course of the day it had begun to itch and the underwire dug into my skin. In the end, I opted to wear it, rather than risk running into Edward _without_ it on.  
The shorts to my pajama outfit were way smaller than I'd remembered, and I must have adjusted them about ten times before even leaving the bathroom. I had to pull them down very low on my hips, baring quite a bit of my midriff, in order to feel comfortable walking in them.

I stood before the fogged up mirror, suddenly missing the way Rose's makeup job had made my eyes stand out and made my skin look so clear and fresh. I ran a hand through my wet hair, which was quickly drying in tousled waves around my shoulders. Rose had left a bottle of body spray on the counter and I helped myself to it, since I realized too late that I'd forgotten to pack my deodorant.

I ran into Alice in the hallway when I exited. She didn't say anything, but she had paused, one eyebrow cocked, looking me over, and then grinned. She reached for my hand and squeezed it quickly before trotting into the steamed-up bathroom and shutting the door behind her. I struggled to compose myself, wondering what this night held in store for me.

We had our first glass of jungle juice standing in the kitchen around the table. Rose had made a few _gallons_ of the stuff in an enormous punch bowl, and she made it _strong_. I saw two empty vodka bottles lined up on the floor near the garbage can and winced as I took another sip, quickly swallowing it. I had to admit – once I got past the overkill ratio of vodka to juice, I liked how it warmed my throat as it went down.

"I thought you were making sangria," Alice murmured, glancing at Rose as she took another sip.

"Did you really want to wake up with a wine hangover tomorrow?" Rose countered. Alice winced, but didn't answer.

Rose had been spot-on about urging me to buy my itty-bitty pajamas. She and Alice wore very similar ones; Alice's shorts were even shorter than mine, with green and blue stripes. She paired them with a simple, white spaghetti-strap tank, her wet hair combed back off her face. Rose wore a pair of short, silky black shorts and a tight, red camisole that showed a generous amount of cleavage. Whenever she moved, the shirt rode up, exposing her tanned, toned stomach. Neither of them wore bras, and when I realized it, I wondered if it was just the jungle juice making me feel warm.

"We should probably take this upstairs," Alice said after emptying her first glass. "We'll make less of a mess if we contain the party to my room."

"Sounds good," Rose agreed, and they each took hold of the heavy punch bowl, carefully making their way towards the stairs with it. I filled my arms with our glasses, as well as bags of chips, pretzels, and popcorn, and followed them.

I was only feet away from entering Alice's room when I heard my phone ringing, the sound largely muffled because I'd left my phone in my bag on Alice's bed.

"Don't answer it!" I yelled, panicked. I dropped the snacks - and almost the glasses - as I lunged for my bag. "Shh! Don't talk! Don't make a sound!"

Alice and Rose nodded as I pulled my phone out in time and answered it. As I suspected, it was Charlie.

"What are you doing, Bella?" he asked in place of a greeting. My heart sunk and I felt dizzy all of a sudden.

"Nothing?"

"Oh. You're at _home_, right?"

"Yeah, where else would I be?"

_I'm doomed. I'm done. He's going to ground me until June and refuse to let me see Alice or Rose or ... Edward, ever again. He's going to send me back to Phoenix..._

"Well, I called the house and you didn't answer. I would prefer it if you answered the _phone_, Bella."

"I can hardly hear it up in my room," I said slowly, surprised at his response. "I fell asleep reading, anyway."

"Alright," he said.

_Oh my God, he believes me_.

"If I don't answer the phone, just call my cell," I assured him, more confident now. "It's not like I can go anywhere."

I tried to sound annoyed, knowing he would expect it of me.

"Alright, fine," he agreed. "We're heading to the motel for the night. I'll be back out there tomorrow. I'll call you again at some point in the morning."

"Alright, Dad. Bye."

I hung up and breathed heavily for a few moments. Alice and Rose stood a few feet away, frozen, looking to me for some kind of sign that everything was alright.

"Why couldn't we talk?" Alice asked finally.

"She's grounded!" Rose answered for me, sounding pleased. "I snuck her out!"

"Rose!" Alice wailed, slapping the girl's arm. "You're gonna get her in trouble!"

"No I'm not! I promised her I'd have her home early tomorrow, before he even gets back from his trip!"

"It's fine," I added, trying to act unconcerned. "He won't know. And I couldn't miss this!"

"Well, alright," Alice purred, slinking over to me and taking a glass from my hand. She got so close I could feel her breath on my cheek. "Let's drink, then!"

Alice's house was perfect for a party. The balcony doors were open, letting in plenty of fresh air, as we drank glass after glass of the increasingly delicious, dark red juice. Rose and Alice danced to nineties music blasting from an iPod stereo. I skipped the dancing, opting for a perch on the edge of Alice's bed, where I watched and laughed.

Every now and then, all three of us would crowd together and Alice would hold her camera out as far from her body as she could, snapping picture after picture of us. In some, we smiled, and in others, we made silly faces. In one, Alice turned her head at the last minute and landed a kiss on my cheek.

Alice was always cheerful, but it seemed that a little alcohol was what she needed to really let go of her sweet, polite self. With every glass, she danced a little more, laughed a little louder, and tried a little harder to get me to join them.

Drunk Rose acted exactly as I imagined she would; drink in hand, she shimmied seductively around the room, shaking her ass, and every now and then she ran a hand down her body in such a way that I found myself clenching my thighs together on instinct once again.

The more I drank, the more I was intrigued watching the girls laugh and dance. Now and then they talked about things that happened long before I met them, and I would zone out and stare at them. Mostly, I stared at Alice.

Seeing Alice in such skimpy clothes, acting so out of character ... I was turned on. I knew it, and I didn't know what to do about it. I had pushed the issue of my attraction to her aside nearly every day for weeks, not wanting to deal with it or analyze it. I'd never been that _physically_ attracted to another girl before, let alone _emotionally_. For some reason, my attraction to Rose didn't bother me nearly as much. She oozed sex appeal and didn't hide it, and I knew I was more in awe of that than anything.

But Alice...Alice was different. Alice meant something more to me than a friend ought to, and I didn't know what would happen once I figured it out all out. In the meantime, I was becoming increasingly intoxicated with two incredibly sexy, drunk girls. If I wasn't drinking, I would have been nervous enough to vomit.

A funny thing began to happen as the night wore on. Even though I tried to pace my drinking, I started to somehow know the words to the songs on the iPod. My foot tapping against the bedpost turned into me bopping in my seat. Soon, I was standing up and dancing in place. And then Rose turned down the music and made the announcement that would change my entire night.

"Shots!"

My vision was shaky and my balance was questionable at best, but I eagerly followed Rose and Alice downstairs, giggling all the way.

"Do we even have vodka leftsh?" I slurred, once we reached the kitchen. Alice was laughing hysterically, her arm wrapped around my waist and swaying from front to back. I felt warm inside and Alice's touch didn't cause me to blush or send nervous jitters down my spine anymore. I wrapped my arm around her as well, and we watched Rose stumble over to the refrigerator and pull out a small, unopened bottle of vodka.

"Yes!" she squealed, slamming the bottle onto the counter.

The process of pouring three shots took ten minutes. First, Alice couldn't find any shot glasses. Then, she remembered that they were kept in a cabinet she couldn't reach. Rose took care of that part, but then Rose spilled roughly a quarter of the bottle of vodka when Alice lost her balance trying to do a pirouette and bumped into her. Eventually, our shot glasses had plenty of the clear, pungent liquid – but so did the counter, the floor, and the sink.

"Cheers!" Alice shouted, looking very focused on not spilling her share. "To new friends, old friends, and combining the two!"

"Cheers to being three sexshy, intelligent, amaaaazing women!" Rose added, slurring her words and giggling.

I gripped my shot glass with one hand and the back of a chair with the other. I'd had enough to drink that things seemed to be happening in slow motion. I looked from Rose to Alice, then down at my glass, taking a deep breath.

"Cheers to finally having ... _fun_."

Simultaneously, we swallowed our shots and slammed the glasses onto the counter. My throat burned and for a second I felt like I might throw up. But I didn't, and I thought that I could almost feel myself become drunker.

As off balance as I was, I felt good. I felt _happy_. I felt warm and comfortable and extremely cheerful. I stopped trying to pull my shorts up and my top down. I didn't think about Charlie at all, and I forgot Edward was even home.

"One more and we'll go back up!" Rose insisted. I almost protested, but she poured the next three shots with much more ease. Without a toast, we downed more liquor and Rose put the bottle away as Alice and I headed back for the stairs.

"Are you drunk? I'm drunk!" Alice laughed, running her hand along the wall once we made it into the hallway.

"Yeah," I murmured, more focused on making it to her room without tripping in the dark.

Rose turned the iPod back on, even louder this time, and I headed back towards my previous seat on the bed. Alice intervened, however, and pulled me into the middle of the room.

"Dance, baby, dance!" she screamed at me. I pulled nervously at my bra strap, suddenly aware of how uncomfortable the itchy lace felt against my skin.

"Take that thing off!" Rose yelled, shimmying over to me. Her smooth hands quickly made their way beneath my top, snaked up my back and unhooked the bra. I slid out of it eagerly and tossed it onto the bed.

"Don't you feel better?" Alice asked, grinning. She took my hand again and pulled me closer, then turned and shook her ass against me. I nearly groaned.

"Yeah, I feel a lot better," I heard myself say. Rose suddenly reappeared in my line of vision and handed me another full glass of juice. I drank it in two gulps.

"Bella's here to party!" Rose screamed, laughing all the while. I found myself laughing, too. The song that had been playing ended, and there was a long pause before a Spice Girls song came on.

As if there was some kind of unwritten law I hadn't been told about, both girls began to jump up and down and sang along at the top of their lungs. I couldn't help but join them – their excitement was overwhelming. I felt too good, and I was having too much fun. Somewhere inside my head, I noted that I'd never let go of my inhibitions like this before, ever. But I didn't care to even think about it or ponder what it could mean. I was past thinking, past analyzing, and well beyond remembering what a Saturday night in Phoenix used to feel like.

"Power to the world, SPICE UP YOUR LIFE!" I screamed, jumping wildly around the room and bumping into Alice and Rose clumsily, laughing every time.

We needed a breather when the song ended, so we sat down and drank from bottles of water, which was Rose's idea. I thought it might be a little late to prevent a hangover at that point, but drained my bottle, anyway.

"It's almost gone," Alice whined, glancing over at the punch bowl before somehow managing to fall over even though she was seated.

"I can make ... more," Rose answered, struggling to pronounce her words. "I can totally make more. Don't worry. Or we can do SHOTS again! Don't worry, Alice. Don't worry."

"I'm not worried," Alice chirped at her, smiling like an idiot. She reached her hand out to pat Rose's arm, but ended up getting a handful of her breast instead.

"Oh, you _so_ want me," Rose drawled, holding Alice's hand in place and giggling. Alice squealed and laughed even harder, but made no attempt to take her hand back. My jaw was somewhere on the carpet at that point.

"Oh, sorry, Bella," Alice said after a moment, finally retracting her hand. "You don't like boobies, huh?"

I blushed for the first time all night.

"Sure I do, I guess," I replied, unsure of how obvious of an admission that really was.

"You're over your boob-phobia?" said Rose. I laughed and shrugged, taking a long sip of jungle juice. Without warning, she reached over and put her hand down the front of my tank top and groped my left breast.

"AH!"

Alice was laughing and Rose was laughing. So I just laughed, too. A very distinct warmth that couldn't be blamed on vodka quickly spread from my stomach, downwards, causing a subtle ache between my legs.

Slowly, I became aware that a new song had come on.

"Meet me at the altar in your white dress," Alice sang sweetly, and jumped to her feet with some effort. Rose stood too and helped me up. I felt my hips begin to sway back and forth, then my shoulders, and then I moved my legs. I mimicked whatever Rose did, more or less, as I gave dancing my best shot. I found that as long as I moved either my arms or hips with the beat of the song, it felt about right.

I saw a half-empty glass of juice on Alice's dresser and I chugged it without asking who it belonged to. The song changed and I recognized it right away. It was "Dirrty" by Christina Aguilera.

"Too dirty to clean my act up!" Rose purred.

The beat dropped and a new frenzy of dancing began – one I wasn't prepared for, nor did I resist. I found myself sandwiched between the two girls, shaking my hips to the beat as Alice grinded her ass into my crotch. Rose put both hands on my hips and grinded into my behind, pressing her breasts against my back. Her hands slowly made their way up my sides, coming to rest beneath my arms, dangerously close to my chest again.

My panties dampened and I dropped my hands to Alice's hips, and then to her lower back, over the hem of her thin shorts. The more she danced into me, the more those shorts rode up, and soon the bottom of her perfect, round ass was visible. I was sweating – from dancing, from drinking, and purely out of lust.

I couldn't help it anymore – I let one hand slide down, and I palmed her ass. She inched backwards, even closer, so I kept going. Rose's hand slid over and cupped my left breast, which I thought might have been on mistake until she pinched my nipple.

_Oh __**God**_ ...

I'd groaned aloud, and I thought Rose hadn't heard me over the music. But she squeezed my tit again and I knew she had. I didn't move her hand away.

Alice stood up and turned to face me, dancing just as close as Rose was.

I wasn't thinking clearly anymore, not even close. I was just doing whatever felt natural, wishing the song would never end. My hips lurched backward, shoving my ass into Rose's crotch, and I slipped one hand around Alice's shoulders and beneath her sheer top, holding her close, while my other hand fell to her hip, a few fingers inching just past the waistband of her shorts. She grinded even harder into me and our eyes locked. None of us were giggling anymore. Our bodies moved perfectly in sync, our hot skin always in contact and our tiny tops and bottoms rode up the more we rubbed against each other.

When the song finally did end, we stood there, huddled close, in an incredibly awkward silence for what seemed like several minutes but was probably only a few moments. Another song came on, but we didn't budge.

"That was ... hot," Rose said finally. She looked down at her chest, as her breasts had wiggled their way almost completely free of her top. Even without a bra, she had envious cleavage. I saw the darkened skin of her nipples peeking out of her shirt.

"Baby girl, what _are_ you doing?" Alice giggled, reaching past me. She attempted to pull Rose's shirt up for her, but somehow managed to pull it down, exposing Rose's chest. Rose laughed, but didn't fix it. I felt like the breath had been knocked out of me and I didn't move.

My hand was still on Alice's back, beneath her shirt, as she took a step towards Rose. Before I knew what was happening, Rose's hand covered mine on Alice's hot, smooth skin and Rose and Alice began to make out.

I gasped.

Old Bella, sober Bella, would have stepped back, or turned away or even left the room. But I kept my hand on Alice and I stood mere inches away as I watched Alice, on her tiptoes, leaning into Rose's bare breasts, darting her tongue into her mouth and moving her lips sloppily against her best friend's. It occurred to me that perhaps this wasn't a first for these girls, and I felt left out.

Maybe because I had left my balance downstairs with the shot glasses, or maybe because I wanted to be closer to the action, I leaned into them until Rose's right hand came up and wiggled beneath my shirt, onto my breast again.

Alice broke their kiss and took a step back, and my eyes followed her. Rose, however, turned her attention to me, and without a word she pulled my top up clear past my chest, groping both of my breasts, and lowered her mouth to mine.

I kissed her back. I let her lead and let my tongue dance with hers, vaguely aware that my panties were thoroughly soaked. My mind was clouded in lust. Every movement I made lacked intention – I moved on instinct, led by desire. Rose's leg pushed in between my own and pressed into me there, and I pushed back onto her. She moaned into my mouth, and I did the same.

"Hey! Out!" I heard Alice's voice shriek. Rose and I quickly separated and I pulled my top down over my chest again. I looked up in time to see Alice stumbling hastily towards her open bedroom door. She slammed the door shut and locked it.

"Your brother?" Rose asked. To my surprise, she sounded just as alarmed as Alice had. I'd never seen her nervous before.

"It's no biggie," Alice murmured, returning to where we stood.

"I wan' another drinks," I slurred, pushing past Rose towards the punch bowl. It was nearly empty, and with Alice's help, I filled half a glass.

"I'll get you more," Rose sighed, studying my drink. "I'll get ... the bottle."

Alice and I watched as she skipped to the door, unlocked it, and disappeared into the hallway.

I emptied my glass and set it back on the table. Alice grabbed my hand.

"Good, Bella?" she asked softly.

"Yes," I nodded, smacking my lips for effect. "Soooo good."

"How good?"

She leaned into me, her hand dropping mine and slipping onto my hip, instead.

Considering the fact that my world had been in slow motion for at least an hour, I somehow missed the part where I lowered my lips onto hers. It just happened, and I realized it after the fact. But once it did, I lost all control – even more so than during my kiss with Rose.

My hands flew up to Alice's hair and got tangled in it as we kissed. The more she pushed her sweet, little tongue into my mouth, the harder I pressed against hers. My hands fell to her shoulders, and then to the straps of her tank top, pulling them down her arms so that her shirt followed. She moaned loudly into my mouth as I cupped her soft, perfectly perky breasts, slowly rolling her erect nipples between my fingers.

I continued to kiss her hungrily, sometimes moving my lips down to kiss her jaw, then peppering the creamy, white skin along her shoulders and neck with kisses before returning to her slightly swollen lips, licking and nibbling them often.

Rose had returned with the bottle of vodka and a shot glass, and stood frozen just past the doorway watching us.

I hadn't been aware that we were moving, but without breaking our kiss, somehow we ended up next to the bed. Alice stepped into me purposefully, and I dropped to sit on the edge. She pushed me back, and I took the hint and scooted back, close to the headboard. Alice crawled onto the bed, crouched between my legs. Her hands came to rest on my thighs, then moved up, up, inching past my little shorts, over my tummy, up, over my breasts. By the time her lips returned to mine, she was hovering over me, and I was lying beneath her.

I reached up and pulled her down on top of me, between my legs. She rocked her pelvis against mine as we kissed hungrily, and it was an awkward position but it served to remind me just how wet my panties were.

In fact, I was certain that my shorts were soaked, too. If I wasn't so determined to not let the moment end, I would have killed for a release down there ... just a little rub, something. I'd never been so turned on, so overtly horny, in my entire life.

"Holy shit," I heard Rose say.

And just like that, the party suddenly came to a halt when Alice and I both realized, after prolonged abdominal contact, that we desperately needed to go to the bathroom.

We stumbled down the hallway together, taking turns peeing, and when we returned to her room I knew the sleepover was winding down. I glanced at the clock on Alice's nightstand; it was nearly three in the morning.

Rose had already cleaned up our glasses and snacks and took the punch bowl downstairs to the kitchen. Alice shut off the iPod, closed the balcony doors and drew the curtains. A heavy, full feeling had come over me, and I longed to climb into Alice's bed and just let sleep take me.

"We can all sleep in my bed," Alice said, as if she'd read my mind. "There's plenty of room. It's a king."

I nodded, and when Rose returned, Alice pulled back the blankets and added a third pillow from somewhere within her closet. We all climbed in eagerly and I couldn't help but to smile in the darkness when I felt Alice snuggle up close to me and drape an arm across my shoulders.

We fell asleep just like that.

The urge to pee again woke me out of a deep sleep almost two hours later. Cautiously, not wanting to wake either Rose or Alice, I inched my way out from under Alice's arm and slid down to the end of the bed. I felt less drunk, but I knew from the way I swayed involuntarily as I walked that it would be a while before I was sober again. I tried to recall how many glasses of jungle juice I'd had, and I couldn't.

My stomach made an unpleasant sound, and I became aware of how hungry I was - hungry and also terribly thirsty. After finishing up in the bathroom, I carefully guided myself down the stairs and into the kitchen, heading straight for the fridge. Something told me Alice wouldn't mind if I helped myself to a snack.

Lucky for me, there were still plenty of leftovers from the caterers. I made myself a ham and cheese sub, snagged a cold bottle of water, and sat down to eat. It was silent in the house, and chilly. I shivered, sitting there in just my slinky pajamas. Alice's bed, curled up between the two girls, had been much warmer, and I decided I wanted to get back there as soon as possible.

Finishing up, I placed my plate in the sink, chugged the rest of the water, and found my way through the darkness back to the stairs.

Apparently, going down the stairs drunk was a lot easier than climbing them. I fell – twice. The first time was near the bottom, and I hit my knee pretty hard. I swore under my breath as I pulled myself back up, resuming my climb. Just as I thought I was in the clear, I tripped over the top step and fell forward, into what should have been Edward's bedroom door.

Instead, I was caught and lifted to my feet.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked me softly, his warm hand resting on my shoulder. I shivered for some reason. Vaguely, I picked up on the scent of vodka, but it wasn't coming from me.

"I'm fine," I replied. "I do that ... a lot."

"You're drunk."

"So are you, I think," I countered. "I know I don't smell myself."

"I've had a few," he admitted, barely audible. Light from his television illuminated the hallway around us, and I saw how lonely he looked. I pitied him, that he had stayed holed up in his room all night, drinking, no less.

"I think I'm drunker," I said, a weak attempt at making him feel better. "I think I'm like, a lot drunker."

He grinned and stepped backwards and I breathed heavily, expecting him to go back into his room and leave me again.

"Come in for a second," he whispered, nodding towards his room.

I obeyed, and he shut the door behind us.

"Sound travels easily in that hallway, and I didn't want to wake my sister or Rose," he explained. I nodded, allowing myself a look around. His room looked much the same as it had the day I'd peeked in on him while he was painting. He'd been shirtless that day, and he was shirtless again, but it didn't have the same effect on me, probably because I was half asleep and tipsy.

"Why are you drinking alone?" I blurted, and then wished I hadn't.

"I don't mind it," he answered quickly. "I don't sit in here and cry myself to sleep over a bottle. I had enough to feel good and I painted for a while."

I noted smears of green and brown paint on his chiseled abs, and Edward fidgeted as I studied him shamelessly. He seemed to be doing to the same to me, but I didn't even blush.

"I uh," he began, clearing his throat. "I saw ... you and Rose."

_Uh oh_.

"We've been here all night. Of course you saw us," I said weakly, wondering how quickly I could bolt from his room if I had to.

"No, I saw you two ... kissing," he said, his eyes narrowing in on me. "It was ... really fucking hot, actually."

"You were spying on us?" I squeaked, taking a step backwards into a stack of books, which toppled over.

"Not really. The door was open."

"Ugh, I can't _believe_ you!"

I turned and reached for the door, but Edward spun me around to face him again.

"I'm sorry. I really do apologize," he insisted, his grip on my arm not loosening.

"You shouldn't spy," I told him.

"I know," he replied. "I just couldn't look away, though."

I tensed, staring at the floor, waiting for him to speak again. By the way I was breathing, one might have thought I'd just run a marathon.

Finally, I looked back up at him and met his gaze.

And then he stepped forward and kissed me.

His kiss wasn't like Rose's or Alice's. it was urgent; it was desperate. It was almost scary how needy and vulnerable he seemed. It didn't last very long at all.

"No, no no no," I broke the kiss, pushing him away as I pictured Alice's face.

"I'm sorry," he breathed. "I shouldn't have done that." He looked hurt.

"It's...fine," I stuttered, my heart beating so loudly I thought Edward could probably hear it. "Don't apologize. It's fine. I just ... it's fine."

"I ... okay."

"I'm going back to bed now."

I turned and opened his door.

"See you in the morning," he whispered after me as I tiptoed away down the hallway. I heard his door click shut as I reached Alice's room.

It took several minutes to climb back into Alice's bed, and just as I brought the covers up to my chin, satisfied I'd done so without disturbing anyone, Alice woke up.

"Where'd you go?" she whispered in my ear. I smiled at her, even more so when her hand grasped mine, her fingers intertwining with my own.

"Bathroom," I replied.

Without another word, Alice nuzzled into my side and fell back asleep. It should have bothered me that I could still taste her brother as I laid there next to her, but it didn't.

I fell back asleep within minutes.


	8. Chapter 6 EPOV

_"There's just no rhyme or reason / only this sense of completion / and in your eyes / I see the missing pieces / I'm searching for / I think I've found my way home."_ - Savage Garden

A loud crash woke me with a jolt. It was dark, but even in my half-asleep haze, I could see the shadow of someone off to my right stumbling awkwardly.

I stood slowly and stretched, trying to remember who the clumsy person in my living room was, and why I'd been asleep on the couch. My eyes were unwilling to cooperate, ready to throw in the towel and close for another couple of hours.

"We fell asleep," the stumbler said. Right away, I recognized the voice as Bella's. I glanced at the clock on the mantle and realized I'd slept for more than three hours.

_How long ago did she wake up?_ I wondered nervously. Enduring a night under the same roof as Bella wouldn't be any easier if I'd been sleep talking, I noted glumly.

A long yawn slipped out before I could respond to her. My eyes were adjusting quickly to the dark and I could now see that Bella still wore the form-fitting black dress she'd donned for my parents' vow renewals. Her hair still cascaded around her shoulders in neat, shiny waves.

I suddenly remembered how I'd watched her out of the corner of my eye earlier as we watched a movie on television. She'd tucked her feet up beneath her and leaned back into the soft cushions before dozing off. I'd resisted offering her my bed instead of the couch only because I couldn't bear to wake her from her peaceful sleep.

"You looking for the bathroom?" I asked.

_ Smooth ... real smooth, _I thought, cringing.

I watched her nod as she bent over and searched blindly for whatever she'd knocked over.

"I wasn't close, was I?" she asked, a hint of laughter in her voice. I smiled and watched her struggle to find the displaced knick knack on the floor. I took a few steps towards her just as she finally found it and placed it back on its shelf.

"No," I admitted, smiling wider.

The closer to Bella I got, the more clearly I could see her face. She seemed to tense up as I approached and her eyes met mine, as if she was anticipating my next move.

I paused a foot from her, just as I realized I could make out how rosy her cheeks had turned in the last few seconds. Her big, chocolate brown eyes widened even more, and I wondered if I made her nervous.

"Actually, the plumbing in the bathroom down here has been questionable lately. You should use the one upstairs," I told her, hoping she would relax if I broke the silence. It seemed to work, because she nodded and I led her up the stairs, taking them slower than usual.

My heart sped up as we climbed those stairs. It felt so ... right ... to be leading her that way, towards my room. I wanted to invite her in, to continue spending time with her the way we had been before we'd fallen asleep. But as my foot touched the top step, I realized I couldn't do that because she wasn't there for me. She was only in my home because of Alice.

That thought seemed to physically propel me straight into my room, and I shut the door behind me, leaving Bella to use the bathroom and join my sister and Rose down the hall.

I flopped onto my bed, frustrated as ever, still picturing Bella's coy little smile and the way she blushed so easily.

_Why is this girl fucking me up like this?_

I wanted to scream, but I didn't dare – not even into my pillow. All I needed was for her to hear _that_.

I couldn't avoid thinking about it anymore, though. There were no more distractions – at least, none that were strong enough. Ever since Bella arrived in Forks, my entire existence had been somehow changed. I didn't think or act the way I used to; everything seemed to somehow revolve around her now.

I'd never before given much thought to skipping classes that didn't matter, as long as I aced the ones that did. Having Bella in bio made me want to attend every single lesson. And I'd been completely against Facebook, Myspace, and every other stupid social networking website, yet I'd willingly signed up for a Facebook profile, and I couldn't deny that she was the reason why.

I'd given up smoking simply because Bella didn't like it. That plagued me the most – the fact that I'd quit because of someone that hadn't even asked me to, even though my own family had begged me for years. I'd quit because of a girl that I hardly even knew, that I certainly wasn't dating and probably had no chance with. I was dying for a smoke and wouldn't give in, and it was all because of her. And why?

I wondered whether it was for health reasons, the fact that cigarettes were so expensive, or the fact that I was coughing a lot lately, which was pretty gross. None of them rang a bell. I considered the possibility that deep down, I just wanted to stop. But I knew, even as I pondered it, that I was all too happy to keep up with my one addiction that no one could make me give up. Yet, the idea of continuing the habit Bella found so repulsive no longer seemed an option.

Over the years, so many girls had tried to flirt with me, to break me down. Alice used to nag me about being "cruel" for not giving any of them chances, even though she'd later admit that none of them were right for me anyway.

_What would she think of me with Bella?_

It wasn't long before I heard movement out in the hallway. The pipes in the bathroom next door groaned as the shower roared to life.

Rosalie was first to wash up, and I heard her announce upon exiting the bathroom that she would be downstairs making jungle juice. Two more quick showers followed and by the time Alice and Bella joined Rose downstairs, I decided to take one, too.

The bathroom smelled like flowers and I noticed several bottles of perfume and lotion lined up behind the sink as I turned on the hot water. Thinking about how Bella bathed recently in that same shower did nothing to help me relax. I washed up quickly, threw on a pair of sweatpants and hurried back into my room just in time to miss Alice and Rose coming back up the stairs.

Within minutes, some pop song blared out of Alice's room. I looked around for the first time, realizing I needed something to do to pass the time, or else I'd lose my mind thinking of Bella. I spotted a blank canvas leaning against my desk and snatched it up, balancing it on my easel. By the time the second pop song began down the hall, I'd begun to paint.

Ten minutes later, I turned on the television, but nothing worth having as background noise was on. I stopped painting again to turn it off and started up a playlist on my laptop. Even at top volume, my music couldn't mask the bass of the girls' songs. Annoyed, I kept painting anyway, not paying much attention to the music or the painting after some time.

Soft, pale lines, then lots of darker, thicker ones appeared. After a while, I filled in some details. A familiar face stared from my canvas an hour later, large, chocolate brown eyes telling a secret the shy smile tried to hide.

_Of course. Why wouldn't I paint her_? I wondered, aggravated with myself. Still, I wasn't done with it. I figured I might as well finish it. I kept painting.

As the night wore on, the music got louder, and so did the increasingly frequent giggles and outbursts of laughter. I turned the music off since I could hardly hear it anymore. My annoyance was increasing too, and I started craving some of whatever the girls were drinking.

The music stopped suddenly and it sounded like a herd of animals was galloping down the hallway towards my room. I dropped my brush and rushed over to the door, shamelessly pressing my ear to it. Through the giggles and the loud stomping of bare, wobbly feet on the hardwood floors, I heard "shots" enough times to realize what Alice and her friends were doing. The galloping proceeded down the stairs and faded until all I heard was echoing laughter.

_So there _is_ some vodka left..._

A few minutes went by and I began to wonder if the girls had moved their party to the kitchen. How long did it take to pour a couple of shots? But soon, the galloping returned as the three thundered up the stairs. This time, I couldn't resist peeking as soon as I was sure they'd turned past my doorway. I opened the door just a tiny bit, and my throat felt like it might close.

All I saw was Rose and Bella. Both wore a tight tank top and ... shorts? Underwear? They could have been either. Their outfits were very similar in that they barely covered the essentials.

Suddenly, my baggy sweatpants became a little tighter. I closed the door quietly and flung myself back onto my bed, exhaling the breath I'd held since peering out.

_Christ._

The music picked back up again, louder than ever. I waited several long minutes, then, satisfied that the girls would be in Alice's room for a while, I got back up. Quietly, I slipped into the hallway, down the stairs and into the kitchen. They had left the light on, but no vodka bottles were in sight. I checked the fridge and found one, but it was almost empty.

I cursed under my breath and swigged the half-a-shot's worth of liquor left in the bottle, dropping it into the garbage on my way back out of the kitchen.

_They must have the rest of it upstairs._

I returned to my room and tried to continue my painting, but every few strokes I stopped and found myself staring at my closed door. Every fiber of my being wanted to go down that hall and see what the girls were doing. Despite their ridiculous music and the fact that they were all probably just wasted enough to be annoying, the empty vodka bottle had somehow helped cement the loneliness I'd been trying to ignore all night.

Finally, I gave in. I put away my brushes, backed my easel with my work in progress into a corner, and tiptoed out my door. Curiously enough, though the music still pounded away, the laughter had suddenly subsided.

I took my time slinking through the dark hallway towards my sister's room, as if I wasn't allowed to be there. It certainly felt like I was breaking some kind of law just by intending to go near their sleepover. The lack of raucous laughter and giggling drew me in though, and made me think they were up to something.

Alice's bedroom door was open just enough to poke my head through. My heart thundered in my chest as I took the final step, my outstretched fingers grasped the door handle and I slowly leaned in and opened the door just a little wider.

My instincts had been dead on - so much so that I thought I must still be dreaming. But the horror I felt when I realized I'd hardened and was straining against my sweatpants was enough to let me know I was awake.

In the middle of Alice's room, Rose towered over Bella with her back to me, and the two were passionately making out. My sister was standing off to the side, a drunken, listless smile on her face as she watched. Rose's hands were clearly on Bella's chest, and though Rose's tall figure blocked most of Bella's, I could tell her shirt was pushed up past where Rosalie's hands worked. For a moment, the twosome turned just enough that I saw how Bella leaned into Rose and I heard a small moan escape her. Rose's kiss intensified, and she moaned, too.

Without thinking, my free hand came to rest over my stomach and moved down, past my sweats and onto my dick, which had probably never been so hard. Just as quickly, I pulled my hand back as I feared one wrong stroke would make this little show end very badly for me.

I almost groaned as I watched Bella move her tongue in and out of Rosalie's mouth, her breasts now pushing up against Rose. Bella's legs were parted by one of Rose's, and she repeatedly ground into her thigh; every time she did, my breaths became shorter.

I took a silent step back, my eyes never leaving the two girls. Rose's long, tan legs were sexy, and they led to a perfect ass. Her tits were outstanding, too. But Rosalie, alone, didn't turn me on.

Bella was tiny and petite, and her skin was pale, especially compared to Rose's. Her breasts were smaller, too. But she was also ... softer. Bella was soft and sweet. She was intelligent and curious, and she didn't seem flighty or stuck up. There was something about the way she looked at me that made me think she understood what I was thinking without me having to say a word.

She was something beyond innocent ... she seemed almost mysterious, in a slightly dark way. As sexy as Bella Swan was, something else about her captivated me and made me want to know every single thing there was to know about her.

And so I realized, as I watched Bella drunkenly dry hump another girl, that I had actual, legitimate feelings for her. This wasn't just lust. Well, watching her kiss Rose from a dark hallway with a hard-on was. But emotionally, I was a goner.

"Hey! Out!"

If my heart hadn't been pounding, it began to when I realized Alice had spotted me. She came running towards the doorway, her face twisted in shock and anger. I bolted down the hallway and locked myself in my bedroom, sure that my sister would momentarily try to break the door down and hang me from her balcony.

When that didn't happen, I stood with my ear pressed against my door for what felt like ages. The music was still playing and the girls were still not laughing. My head felt clearer now that I wasn't staring at softcore porn happening before my very eyes, and I remembered that I'd been on a hunt for vodka. As much as I would have liked to go back to Alice's to find some liquor – or something else intoxicating – I knew that wasn't an option. In reality, I had no way of knowing for sure that my twin wasn't crouched in the hallway ready to tear my head off if I showed my face again.

The tent I'd pitched in my pants had gone down a few minutes later and I decided I needed a drink more than ever. Carefully, I peeked into the hallway, and when I was sure no ambush was waiting, I crept down the stairs and back into the kitchen. Even if the girls hadn't left any vodka, I thought I might be able to find some of my father's whiskey in one of the cabinets high up over the stove.

"You."

I was poking around in the fridge one last time looking for vodka when I heard the voice, and I froze.

"Hi, Rose."

"You were spying on us," she growled. I turned to face her, hoping to show her from the expression on my face that I genuinely hadn't been trying to spy. Her blonde hair was piled onto her head in a messy ponytail and some of her eye makeup was smeared. Rose still looked hot, though. I had to give credit to Emmett for taming the girl enough to settle her down.

"I wasn't," I said softly. "I was going to ask to share your drinks, but when I ... saw what you were doing ... I didn't want to interrupt."

"I'm sure you liked what you saw," she said snarkily, her lips curling into a cocky grin.

"You're not my type," I shot back quietly, smirking. The look on her face changed and we stood there in silence for a good ten seconds, staring each other down.

"I wasn't talking about me," she said finally. It was a challenge, coming from her. She wanted me to respond, and I knew she wouldn't speak again until I did. Now she was staring me down, and I was failing her test.

"No..." I mumbled cautiously. It was a weak comeback.

"So you _didn't_ like what you saw? You're telling me that girl upstairs doesn't make you rock hard?"

I swallowed and my jaw locked defiantly. I had no answer for her. Her grin grew wider.

"I already knew. I've been able to tell for a while now. I won't say anything. Don't worry."

"What do you know?" I snarled.

Rose leaned against the counter but still showed signs of being too drunk to continuously stand upright. She giggled at herself despite our standoff.

"I know thaaaat..." she sang, pushing herself towards me a step, "you may very well have met your match in our Bella."

Without another word, Rosalie pushed past me, dug into one of the drawers in the fridge and produced a half-empty vodka bottle. She then fished a thermos out of a cabinet, poured a generous amount into it and handed it to me before taking the bottle with her out of the kitchen and back upstairs.

I was staring blankly at the clock on my laptop, which read 4:50 A.M., when it hit me that I should probably lay down. Alice, Rose and Bella had long since turned off their music and gone to bed. The thermos of vodka Rose had poured me held more than I'd realized initially, but I'd drank it all anyway.

I never finished my painting, because as soon as I'd traveled from tipsy to drunk, memories of Bella and Rose making out flooded my mind and I'd given up in favor of some poor quality Internet porn to grant myself some relief. I felt guilty afterward, which was as new to me as quitting smoking for a girl I hardly knew.

I'd collapsed into bed and was lying there for several minutes when I heard a loud bang outside my door. It sounded as if something had dropped. The weight of what I'd drank hit me as I struggled to stand up. I finally made it to my door and opened it just in time to catch the offending noisemaker in my arms: Bella.

Admittedly with some effort, I lifted her to her feet.

"Are you okay?"

She was sort of shivering, and I wondered how she could be cold when I felt so flushed.

"I'm fine. I do that ... a lot," she mumbled. I caught a hint of blush on her cheeks through the darkness once again, and I realized I hadn't taken my hand off her bare shoulder.

"You're drunk," I reminded her softly. She bit her bottom lip, as if to hide a smile.

"So are you, I think," she said. "I know I don't smell myself."

"I've had a few," I admitted. She looked past me into my room, and then back up at me again with those big, brown eyes.

_Yes, _I almost said aloud_, look at my room – there's plenty of room for us both in there._

"I think I'm drunker," she said finally. "I think I'm like, a lot drunker."

Bella's voice floated down the hallway and my breath caught at the thought of Rose or Alice interrupting this for me. I took a step back, hoping Bella would follow me.

"Come in for a second," I pleaded in a whisper.

Looking slightly alarmed, Bella agreed and stepped into my bedroom and I shut the door.

"Sounds travel easily in that hallway, and I didn't want to wake my sister or Rose," I said quickly. I realized the last thing I wanted was for Bella to be afraid or uncomfortable with me. I wanted her to feel as comfortable with me as she was with my sister – maybe even more so.

"Why are you drinking alone?" she asked suddenly, and I saw her eyes dart to my empty thermos and back.

"I don't mind it. I don't sit in here and cry myself to sleep over a bottle. I had enough to feel good and I painted for a while."

She seemed to ease up once I said this, and I couldn't help but take a quiet moment to look her over. In a way, I couldn't believe Bella Swan was willingly standing with me in my bedroom. Her tiny tank top rode up over her flat stomach. Her skin looked so smooth I nearly lost my will to not reach out and touch her. It was clear to me that Bella had at some point shed her bra, and I swallowed hard as I realized my sweats were once again feeling a little tight.

She was staring me down much the same way, and I wondered if it meant what I wanted it to mean. Her eyes did not meet mine, though she was looking right at me. I thought she might be noting the smears of dried paint on my chest.

"I uh," I said gruffly, without warning, "I saw you ... and Rose."

Bella's eyes widened and her face and ears went crimson. She took a small step back.

"We've been here all night. Of course you've seen us," she said weakly.

"No, I saw you two ... kissing. It was really fucking hot, actually."

I wanted to punch myself in the junk as soon as the words slipped out of my mouth. If I ever had a chance with Bella, I'd just ruined it by practically telling her I'd used her for jacking off material. I'd done the exact opposite of what I truly wanted to do.

"You were spying on us?" she cried, taking another large step back into a pile of books, which promptly fell over.

"Not really. The door was open," I protested.

"Ugh, I can't _believe_ you!" she shrieked, turning and heading for the door. Without thinking I reached out for her arm and spun her to face me.

"I'm sorry. I really do apologize," I said, hoping she'd know I meant it.

"You shouldn't spy," she snapped.

"I know," I said with a sigh. "I just couldn't look away, though."  
Her expression softened, but she stared at the floor for what seemed like hours. As creepy as it was, I kept my hand on her arm, unable to bear the thought of her running away and never having another chance to redeem myself.

Finally, she looked up at me again. Her cheeks were pink and her big, beautiful eyes weren't angry anymore. A piece of her soft, shiny hair fell away from her face and I lost it.

I leaned down and kissed her.

I had only kissed one other girl in my entire life, and it wasn't a true kiss. I didn't know if what I was doing was even right, but I wanted her to know how I felt. I tried to convey to her with my lips how badly I wanted to know her, how I wanted her to come over to see me instead of Alice. I wanted her to know by the kiss how much I'd give to be able to kiss her anytime, anywhere. I wanted her to know how elated I'd felt the moment after I woke up when I realized we'd fallen asleep together on the couch.

All too soon, the kiss ended. She pushed me away – not forcefully, but just enough that I got the hint. We stood very close even still, and though my heart was probably about to plummet straight out of my body, I couldn't step away from her.

"No, no, no, no," she mumbled.

"I'm sorry," I said instantly. "I shouldn't have done that."

Bella's face was twisted into a pained expression, and I felt sick that I had caused it.

"It's ... fine," she said slowly. "Don't apologize. It's fine. I just ... it's fine."

"I..." I began. "Okay."

"I'm going back to bed now."

She stepped away and opened the door, disappearing slowly into the pitch black hallway.

"See you in the morning," I called, hoping I'd hear it back. I wasn't surprised when I didn't.

The next few minutes moved in slow motion. I stood just inside my bedroom door and stared at the floor, struggling through my vodka-induced haze to comprehend what I'd just done.

When it hit me, a rage flowed through me that I didn't recognize. I stormed over to my unfinished painting and punched a hole through it, flinging the damaged canvas over my shoulder at a wall. I then flung myself onto my bed and screamed with everything I had into a pillow.

And then, most surprisingly of all, tears fell. Tears of frustration.

I was the only guy I knew who, at seventeen-years-old, hadn't liked a girl long enough to date her. My parents had tried once or twice to get me to explain why I never had girlfriends, and my sister once asked if I was gay.

And then Bella showed up and proved that I wasn't abnormal, that there was a girl out there who fit whatever standards I had built into my head. There was a girl that could change me without me even trying, and it was such a relief that I was going to let it happen.

I had her, finally, sleeping down the hall. And I'd done one stupid thing and ruined it. At the rate I was going, I'd never find another girl like Bella again – not one I'd have a chance with.

_Hell, I probably don't even have a chance with Bella. I just made myself think I did_, I thought angrily. More exasperated tears fell onto my pillow. I punched the bed beside me three times, as hard as I could.

After a few minutes, I rolled onto my side and finally fell into a restless sleep.


End file.
